


to jay, from j

by wyntwo



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Am I tagging this correctly?, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Cheesy, Crack, First Time, Fluff, Jared Padalecki is a sneaky bastard, Jensen Ackles pretty much over thinks for the entire story, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Mutual Pining, My First Fanfic, Romance, Secret Identity, Shmoop, Teen Romance, Writer Jensen Ackles, bottom!Jensen, top!Jared
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-18
Updated: 2019-08-18
Packaged: 2020-09-07 01:49:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 47,834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20301454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wyntwo/pseuds/wyntwo
Summary: Originally posted on Wattpad.Jensen Ackles had been pining after Jared Padalecki since the moment he laid eyes on the guy in his freshman year. But instead of talking to him, he pours all his heart and feelings out on his blog under the name as J, all in the form of poems and letters written to Jay.But when someone finds out J goes to their high-school and realizes that Jay is Jared, the news gets spread like wildfire. And not only is that the most coincidental and craziest occurrence to ever happen to him, but Jared's also began to show some interest in Jensen as well (actually, he's not so sure which is most bizarre).Will Jensen come clean to Jared as J, or will J's identity remain hidden?





	to jay, from j

**Author's Note:**

> This is sort if a twist on Radio Rebel. I actually started it as a twist on Cinderella but, once I started typing it, I realized that it would make more sense to be a twist on Radio Rebel. Which of course meant I had to change the plot and scrap and re-write a load of stuff because I'm indecisive as hell, but here we are. It's definitely not exactly like the movie, considering the years ago that I watched it I never even watched the entire thing so bare with me here.
> 
> A couple things I want to note. It's set in recent times but the year is not specified. Although homophobes are still very much around and scowling at homosexuals who mind their own business, they aren't much of an issue to Jared nor Jensen in this story (but are still mentioned). This is sort of a clichè so sit back and enjoy your shmoopy goodness (and hopefully it's remotely enjoyable, wink wink).
> 
> This is also my first fic (that I would consider a book, completed and with a real storyline, haha) so please, feedback is welcome! As someone who struggles with social anxiety and fear of releasing my own content, posting this was a challenge for me that I made a goal to overcome. I realize that (as I've done before), I'll probably look back on this story and completely revamp it, but for now I'm going to just share it with the world. :)

"So tell us what drove you to publish your book, what's the inspiration behind the beautiful story you shared with us?"

Jensen struggles not to fidget under the spotlight. He's sitting right in front of _the _Ellen fucking DeGeneres, and she's giving him her full undivided attention, along with all those unknown faces in the crowd. They're all here to listen to _him_, hear what he has to say and praise him for his work. It makes him feel uneasy and makes his head spin, but then he looks out in the crowd and their eyes meet-and he just relaxes.

_"You're gonna do great, angel. Just breathe, okay? Remember I'm with you all the way."_

Inhaling deeply, he turns back to Ellen with a wide grin. "I'm sorry Ellen, excuse my language-but Jared fucking Padalecki."

* * *

Jensen is pretty sure he's in love with a guy that doesn't even know he exists.

Okay, maybe he's not _in love_, and Jensen knows that the guy is well aware of his existence, but you understand.

He's perfect. Incredibly hot, standing tall at 6'2, and no, Jensen doesn't have some type of height scanner built into his eyeballs, he checked the roster for the basketball team. His shoulders are broad and wide, and his biceps? So, so much muscle for Jensen to grip if he ever got the chance. Jensen's only gotten a brief glimpse of what lies beneath the t-shirts he wears, but Jensen soaks up each peek of hard lines and tanned skin like a sponge soaks up water, tucking the memory away in his mind for safe-keeping.

He's got floppy, brown hair that curls up adorably at the end, and there's nothing Jensen wants more than to run his fingers through it while he gets a taste of that cotton-candy pink mouth, those pretty lips that part around perfect teeth and dimple his cheeks. And his eyes, _God_, Jensen's dying to stare into his eyes for hours on end, and he's only ever gotten to see them a handful of times up close but he can never decide what color they are. Blue? Green? Hazel? Even–even _grey_ at times?

He plays all kinds of sports; basketball, football, wrestling, runs track, and has even tried his hand at soccer and baseball. May not be as excellent at those last two but he damn sure managed to get a spot secured on the team. To make matters worse, he's certainly not a dumb jock like Jensen wishes he'd be because perhaps he would be just a tad less lovable, but he's certainly not stupid in any way, shape, or form. He's not in all of Jensen's AP classes–except the math one, because he's _so_ damn good with numbers–but in freshman and sophomore year when AP classes weren't available for Jensen yet, they shared honor classes back then and Jared's still in honors now. Then to top it off, he's probably the sweetest guy to ever grace the Earth with his very presence.

His name is Jared fucking Padalecki, and he's _the_ perfect guy.

It's like he walked straight out of a romance novel, the ones that Jensen's trained himself to believe are only fiction. Only ruining all that by being so amazing that he has no choice but to reconsider all the romantic gestures, question if they actually _are_ realistic and he's just been missing out. Because damn if Jared isn't one of the most big-hearted people he knows–or, well, has inspected from afar.

Even in the romance novels, the guy is typically a bit of a jerk (because that's usually where the conflict of the story originates), but _nope_. And if Jensen could just work up the nerve to talk to Jared, the very least that'd happen is Jensen would be friendzoned. Because he'd go, "You're a great guy, Jensen, and I would totally date you. But it's just that I'm not looking for a romantic relationship right now. But if you're okay with it, I'd really love to be friends?" And successfully blow Jensen's heart to smithereens in the nicest way, so then Jensen has no excuse to hate him. Friendly piece of shit.

When Jared does speak to Jensen, usually just a random greeting or something about math (which baffles Jensen every time, considering _he's_ the one who should be asking Jared about their work, not the other way around), Jensen gets all flustered and his tongue feels like a dead weight in his mouth and his vocal cords get all tied up. Jared just gives him a small, tight-lipped smile, like Jensen is an awkward little thing that he desperately wants to get away from. Or maybe it's actually Jensen that wants Jared to go away so he can't keep humiliating himself and ruining the small image that he manages to keep up. Eh, whatever–the point is that it's awkward, and Jensen makes it that way.

Jensen is kind of a goofball, and his personality is a bit on the wilder side, chiefly because there's so many aspects to the person Jensen is. When you begin to think one thing about him, you get flipped in the complete opposite direction. You think he wouldn't do this thing and then he goes and does it. You think he'd do this thing and it turns out that's the last thing he'd choose to do. You think his opinion on this would be that, but his opinion is actually that on this. It's a bit disorienting, but one thing about Jensen that's been the same since he was a young child, is that he's kind of closed off. As soon as you get him to open up though, he's tremendously jovial. It's generally a shock to people he doesn't talk to when they see him interact with people he's familiar with, or when he eventually warms up to new people, they always comment on how they never knew Jensen could act the way he does.

Another thing that's never changed is that Jensen is a little (if little meant huge) nerd. He's all books, books, _books_. He's the type of kid to not only go into the library during lunch, but to actually befriend the librarian. And it's not like, _oh, I'm the librarian's favorite student,_ no, they're actual _friends_. And they're so close, many people assume that Jensen met and knows Jessica outside of school, when in all seriousness, they built their bond completely through school hours.

It's not all bad, being aware that he's the kid to build an unusually tight bond with the librarian, considering the librarian is probably even more outgoing and only five years older than he is. Graduated early from high school, blew through college, and just happened to apply at the right time when the school was in desperate need of a librarian. Ms. Alba (he's so close to her he calls her Jess, short for Jessica, when other staff isn't around) is one of his best-friends, weird enough, but he's not embarrassed to admit that 'cause it's not like he doesn't have or can't make friends of his own. He's also got Chris and Danneel, and even though they're closer to Jared, he talks to Tom and Mike at times and considers them friends too. So friends aren't an issue for him, it's just that the school librarian happens to be a chill woman.

It's great, because if he ever wants to just get out of class, he can head to the library and just talk to her or study, knowing that she'll cover for him if needed. He doesn't take advantage of that much though, because he knows she's breaking rules when she lets him in there to get a break from his classes and that would be unfair to her if she got caught.

Speaking of libraries and books, was it mentioned that Jensen _loves_ books? Seriously. He even has a blog just for his love of books and writing. He reads the books, analyzes them, and then composes a detailed report on the text before posting it, signed off simply as J.

He's actually quite popular across the web, and he's heard the name of his blog float around the school on several occasions. It's even been banned from the district's server because students sometimes use the reports he writes for their own assignments. He doesn't really care that they do, and what's even funnier is that they don't know the website they use to cheat on their homework is made by one of their own classmates rather than some professor.

Well, at least they _didn't_.

The thing is that Jensen also writes his own short pieces at times, and they're all linked under his _My Works_ tab. He uploaded a few of his older ones when he first started the blog, and in one of his works he dropped the name of their school, and in another he dropped the name of the city, so someone pieced together that he was not only from San Antonio but also went to their school. That's not all bad... really kind of creepy, but listen, here's where it gets _worse_.

Jensen has made works about his life and the things he goes through. He's made works about the things he likes, the things he does, the things he sees, the people he's around. Any and everything he finds inspiration to write about, he _writes_. And that is definitely Jared. He _definitely_ finds inspiration in Jared. He hasn't dropped Jared's name but he's not exactly subtle in his pieces, describing him to a T and making it completely obvious who this mystery person is to the people that go to his school. If you know who Jared is, then you'd know that Jensen was talking about Jared,  
no doubt about it.

When he first posted about Jay, it was this big secret-Jay, the blogger boy's crush. The entire reason why he's shared so much detail to begin with is because they ask for more about him and, well, who is Jensen to tell them no? He's gonna give the people what they want! 'S not like he has an issue writing about him. And it was harmless at the time because Jensen's identity was a secret, no one knew anything about him, and technically Jay's identity was a secret, too.

But he'd have never posted all those things about Jared if he'd have known–or remembered–the city and school drop in his other pieces. He's not even sure what lowlife went digging it up, but now people have been talking about the kid in their school who's got eyes for Jared fucking Padalecki. There's no way Jared doesn't know about it.

His eyes travel over the screen, trailing over the last of the words he just wrote before heading to bed last night. Not one of his best, and certainly not one to gather much detail about Jay from.

** _To Jay,_ **

** _I can't quite tell your eye colour_ **

** _You don't even know my name_ **

** _But somewhere a fire started_ **

** _And I'm the one to blame._ **

** _When I look at you, I wonder_ **

** _Just what you think of me_ **

** _When I think the world of you_ **

** _And if we will ever be._ **

** _I should have known that this would happen_ **

** _The explosion, the fall_ **

** _The burning passion growing rapidly_ **

** _As I long for you once more._ **

** _-From J._ **

And underneath, a comment:

_This is totally for Jared. His eyes, what color are they? EXACTLY!_

Are you fucking kidding?!

Jensen gets that they've read and gathered details about Jared from numerous poems. This mystery guy Jay, Jensen's wrote about his love of sports (mainly basketball), his intelligence (especially with his math skills), his appearance (and that one's a big giveaway because of how much detail Jensen puts into his pieces-this is when he'd curse being a good writer). And for him to be _that_ guy, it makes sense that he'd have a secret admirer. But who the fuck–seriously? You had time to dig through his works and find out all of this? This is the type of stuff that happens to celebrities with creepy stans, and while Jensen's well aware of the small following he has, no way did he ever think that someone would do all of _this_. Who cares?!

Slamming his laptop shut, he decides he's not posting another one of his own pieces until he figures out what to do.

***

The next morning at lunch, he vents about the new information as him and Jessica eat their lunch, which she went and scooped for the both of them. He reimbursed her for the money she spent even if Jessica attempted to refuse, because it makes him feel like the responsible young adult he is, and he's gonna have to get used to it if he's gonna leave for college in the fall. Earns his money by helping his mom at her bakery after school, that way Jensen has the best flexible hours he could possibly get anywhere, and that's one less employee his mom has to hire until he leaves for college. It works out well for the both of them.

"Jensen, you know if you just spoke to Ja–"

"–Shh!" Jensen hissed, smacking his finger over his lips. Although there were only one pair of kids in the library with them and they were on their way out, he's not exactly sure who all knows about this mess. He'd rather not risk anyone overhearing him and Jessica's conversation.

"If you just _spoke_ to him..." Jessica waved to the kids as they said goodbye, flashing them her pretty smile. Honest to God, if Jensen wasn't gay, Jessica would definitely be a woman of interest. She's insanely beautiful, with her perfectly rounded, apple cheeks and big brown eyes. Her lashes are very thick, fluttering like a chinese hand fan from each eyelid, and her lips are full and a vibrant shade of pink. Jessica says the same about his, that he's got no business walking around with lips like that if he isn't going to be using them to suck Jared off. That earned her a smack on the arm when she'd said it. "...You really could have a chance. I haven't been able to tell you yet because you've been ranting about your blog being exposed, but because I _am_ the librarian I happen to be required to keep a close ear on what students are talking about because–"

"Because you're nosy. Continue."

"Shut up, Jense." Jessica flips him off and Jensen just grins wolfishly. "Anyway, so I may have overheard–"

"–Eavesdropped–"

"–Chad name drop you last Friday. And Jared didn't say much, but he knows who you are and said you seemed pretty shy around him."

"Okay, duh, we all knew that already," Jensen drawls with a roll of his eyes. "I would probably stutter less if Jane Austen rose from the dead so she could personally tell me how much she loved my writing."

"That's different." Jessica sighs, waving her hand dismissively. "But _listen_, Jensen. He said he–"

At that exact moment, the door burst open with a loud clang, banging against the wall roughly as a few students tumbled in. "Sorry!"

That's Chad. And there's Sandy, and if they're coming in, that means...

"Jesus, Chad, you didn't have to bulldoze the door."

Jared. It's Jared. Oh God. And there's no way he doesn't know about Jensen's blog. Oh loving mother of Jesus _Christ_.

His heart instantly begins to race, pounding so he loud he's afraid–sure–that Jared can hear it from where they're all lined up in front of the desk, thud so heavy and strong he's again, afraid–and again, sure–that it's going to give out with the effort of keeping up with the rush of adrenaline surging through his veins. Fear, happiness, fondness of the chuckling, adorable, yet sexy kid in front of him, fear. More fear. Think he can tell just by looking at Jensen that he's an undercover blogger with a huge crush on him?

"Hey Ms. Alba, we just wanted to see if we could use the computers?"

Jared's voice is heavenly. That low, resonating, Texas drawl is downright sinister. Jensen has always had kinks for the smaller things, and Jared's voice is one of those things that makes him go crazy. Or even better, the way he walks or the way you can catch a small flicker of pink tongue caught between pearly whites when he smiles and laughs. Okay, _maybe_ he's just got a Jared kink, because Jensen's trying his best to keep his eyes trained on his food in front of him, but they inevitably drift off to where Jared is tapping his pencil against the ledge of Jessica's desk. Even Jared's _fingers_ are sexy. All Jensen can think about is those fingers trailing down his body, gripping his thighs and pushing them apart, bringing a hand to Jensen's mouth so he can suck on them, getting them all coated in spit, and then he'd bring those same fingers down and poke at Jensen's hole before _finally–_

Yelping when he feels Jessica pinch his arm, he sucks in a sharp breath and manages to choke on his own saliva in the process. Jessica sighs deep and wearily as he grabs his cup, taking a few sips of his drink before clearing his throat again. He avoids looking up at Jared, who he can sense is still standing there, and he instead directs his gaze at Jessica.

"Yes?" His voice comes out gravelly and he coughs a second time. Jessica purses her lips, and she glances up at Jared before her eyes go back to Jensen.

"Jared spoke to you but _clearly_ you didn't hear."

He blinks at Jessica who raises her eyebrows expectantly, before he slowly tilts his head up to look at Jared. Jared gives an easy grin as he switches his weight to his other foot.

"I said hi," Jared says, giving a little twinkle of his fingers.

Jensen's mouth opens to speak, and humiliating enough, nothing comes for a good ten seconds. Jared's smile widens further, cheeks dimpling, and Jensen's cheeks tint a bright shade of red.

"Right, sorry, I–I don't know," Jensen stammers, and he shakes his head so he can hopefully get a grip on something, _any_ thing to say. "Hi."

Hi. All he has to say is _hi_. I mean, it's all Jared said, but he could've at least–well, asked how his day is going.

Jared watches him for another moment, perhaps waiting for Jensen to add something else, but when he receives nothing he just chuckles and turns to Jessica.

"So is that alright? Using the computers?"

"Yeah, that's fine! Go ahead. Tell Chad to keep it PG-13 and to put those Twizzlers away." Jessica nods over to where Chad is standing beside Sandy, rope of cherry Twizzlers around his neck and held in between his teeth. He whirls around with wide eyes and his lips parted on a gasp.

"I–but–Jensen is eating lunch in here!" Chad exclaims, tossing his hands up, incredulous.

"You don't worry about Jensen, mister, because _you_ are not Jensen Ross Ackles. You happen to be Chad Michael Murray, which happens to not be Jensen Ross Ackles, which also happens to mean that _you're_ a clutz and _Jensen_ is not. Away."

Which is a lie... well, half of one. Jensen is a total clutz, but only when he's nervous. He doesn't just get nervous too often though, only around Jared, but when he _is_ nervous, it's ridiculous how clumsy he can be. It's one of the reasons he avoids Jared as much as possible, because he doesn't need to go making a mess of himself right in front of the guy. So really, if she's making Chad put his food away on levels of clumsiness, Jensen's got him beat with Jared just _breathing_ in front of him.

"Jensen Ross Ackles... _huh_."

He almost misses Jared's tiny voice, quiet and under his breath, and he says it like he's going over it in his mouth, testing the name on his tongue and going over the taste, experimenting with the feel and weight of it. Then he gives a subtle nod of his head, a _hm_. Jensen doesn't turn away quick enough when Jared glances over at him, and there's no other word for the small squeak he gives when Jared tosses him a light smirk. He's never seen it before, but it's only an addition on the running list of reasons to want Jared fucking Padalecki.

"Yes ma'am," Chad agrees with a grumble, tucking the plastic into the pocket of his bag. Jared's laugh is light as feathers when he turns away from Jensen, thanking Jessica for permission, and she waves him off with a wink. Jared gives and additional smile before finally walking away, which is when Jensen feels it's okay to breathe again.

"God, Jess," Jensen whispers as his head falls against the polished wood of her desk. Jensen hears her snicker beside him, and he lifts his head and straightens his posture to glower at her. She only bites her bottom lip, probably doing her best to stifle a laugh, keyboard of her computer clacking as her fingers flash back and forth across the keys.

"Jensen, you were _sucking on your fingers_," Jessica says lowly before her head falls back and she cackles. Jensen's eyes slam shut and he shoves his face into his hands.

"Oh my God, really?" He whispers, and she nods quickly. "He was tapping his pencil and I just seen his fingers and–"

"Had some less than PG-13 thoughts? Yeah, I figured." She gestures down to his lap. His eyes drop to where there's a minor but _very_ there bulge in the crotch of his lightwash jeans.

"Shit!" He seethes, hands falling over his groin, and her hands clap as she laughs harder. _Damn you Jared _fucking_ Padalecki_, he thinks. Luckily he's got his laptop with him. He can just look at a bunch of gross stuff to will it away.

"Jensen, I love you man," Jessica yelps once her laughter has dissolved into little bursts of giggles. "You kill me."

"Yeah, yeah." Flailing his hand around wildly to grip his bag somewhere behind him, he jerks around in his seat when he doesn't find it, then huffs when he remembers it's beneath the desk. "I'm pretty sure you hate me. You don't want to see me prosper."

"I do want to see you prosper," Jessica hums, flipping one of her silky curls over her shoulder. Jensen pulls his laptop out of his bag and plops it onto the surface of the desk, flipping the screen open and powering it on. "You're just too afraid to go after want you want."

He sends her a warning glare, dragging a finger to his lips to hush her. She only shakes her head at him, curls flouncing around her head as her lips form words he can't comprehend, so he just shrugs and looks toward the blue light of his laptop screen.

When he types the passcode in and unlocks his laptop, the first thing that pops up is the page he left open, which was at his blog. There's what he has labeled as a _Chat Room_ so people can not only communicate with him but with others too, and also has the option to post publicly or anonymously. The main point was so people are able to leave comments on his reports or works, talk books with him and others, and possibly leave recommendations for other novels to read or tips for his pieces.

What he was not expecting, though, is a good hundred or so new comments just since this morning. His eyes grow to the size of golf balls as he sifts through a bit of the comments left-a few really are about books, questions on if he read this book or how he perceived that book, but a good majority of them are either about who he is or talking about the guy in his works, asking if it's that tall guy named Jared.

"Jessica do you fucking see this?!" Jensen screeches, probably a lot louder than he should, because he can hear Sandy, Chad and Jared spin in their chairs over at the computers. He flushes and manages a glance in their direction, muttering an apology that couldn't have possibly reached their ears. Grabbing the laptop and sliding it over, he scoots closer to Jessica in his chair as she scoots in as well, leaning down to see the screen.

"You're on the...?" Jessica points, and Jensen nods, shoving a hand through his hair. "I thought it was blocked."

"I have my hotspot on," Jensen says, gesturing toward his phone. He chews on his bottom lip. What if someone hacks his IP and finds out where he posts from, which is his house? And then they look up the address and find out who lives there? And then they tell the entire school about Jensen's identity? Including Jared?

Okay, he doubts someone would go through all the trouble, but seriously, who knows what could happen? Or what if he mentioned something in the rest of his pieces about himself that's too unique to him that he doesn't even remember? Jensen has posted many, many works on his blog, and he's had it since the summer between eighth and ninth grade. Sometimes he sits and plans them out, sometimes he just opens his laptop and lets the words flow from his brain to his fingertips, typing it up on his keyboard and hitting post straight away. Sometimes he writes his own little stories, usually fanfiction or romances between two guys (one guy is always higher up on the social skill and the other has a huge crush on them, and there's totally no reason for that) or he'll write about things that people can relate to. Specifically pining over someone, because he can surely relate to that.

There's no telling what he's written into his pieces that could reveal his identity, and there's no telling who would take a weekend to sit down and read through as much as possible. In a good week or so, everyone could know that Jensen Ackles has a major, creepy, stalker like crush on Jared Padalecki. Including him.

"Jessica, what if–"

"He finally finds out about the four year crush you've had on the guy?" Jessica murmurs, stealing a glance at them to make sure they aren't listening. "Then you guys will live happily ever after and run off into the sunset."

"Not helping." Jensen sighs. He sits back and allows his eyes to slide shut. "Maybe I should just shut it down, the blog. Then no one will be able to see it."

"What? No! A lot of people like and need your site, Jense." Jessica moves back over to her desktop. "Including me. Your very, very detailed report on Pride and Prejudice helped me in college, you know? Have I ever told you that?"

Jensen's eyes fly open. He sits up slowly as he says, "No. No, you didn't, you–you cheater. I can't believe I didn't even know who you were and you were using my work to get by."

"And you helped me, alright. I had only read six chapters, I think, and that thing was worth like, a fourth of my grade."

"I helped you through college. I helped you through college." Jensen falls back in his seat again, stunned.

It's a bit of an insight. Who knows how many people he's helped, is helping right now, with each and every one of his reports? Under the _Writer's Corner_ tab where he gives advice to authors (usually other teenagers who write fanfics like him, but they're still authors in his eyes) and tips on writing? Under the _Submit Your Piece_ tab where he allows people to (again, anonymously if they choose) send a short excerpt, then other people are allowed to give helpful advice? Where he gives his own advice if he has the time?

He's never thought about it much before because his blog has never been exclusively about getting to a bunch of people, but it's not like it excludes that, either. What he wanted to achieve when he made that blog is to help people understand literature in a way they might not have initially been able to, and help them learn how to decrypt pieces the way he does, on their own. It was also an outlet for him, somewhere he could share his love of books without feeling weird and nerdy, without judgement, and also somewhere he could share his own works anonymously. And other people have found his blog feeling the same way, made friends through the blog, and hell, some of them have even made friends with Jensen himself.

Only after that was when he realized he maybe does have a talent for writing, and then it only spread his blog further, helping people write both informatively and creatively, and then pointing out how to make their pieces better specifically when he opened his _Submit Your Piece_ tab. Jensen has to come to realize that this isn't just some little blog anymore, not like it used to be.

This blog, it was where he got away for the past four, almost five years, and even though it's started to feel a bit invaded, he can't take away what has helped so many people in fear of one guy–him, which makes it irrefutably selfish–finding out about his crush.

It's not really fair.

"Okay, alright." Jensen runs a hand over his face, sighing in defeat. "I won't take it down. Whatever. Just, um... what should I do, Jess?"

"Look. You call him Jay, right? I've heard everyone call him Jare, but not Jay. There's no way of knowing that it's really him. You can just post that it isn't him, that Jay is actually... Jay."

Jensen shakes his head. "No, it's obvious. There's no way it's not him and everyone knows it."

"Okay, um. I'm not even trying to be funny, or tease, or anything like that when I say this, but... I really do think you should talk to him Jense." She glances over with a solemn look on her face. Jensen groans and turns away, shaking his head again, dismissive. "He's _not_ going to turn you down."

"But how do you know that? How do you know he's not going to just break my heart as soon as I suggest anything past a friendship?"

"I don't, not definitely, but you'll never know until you try. You have zero chance if you don't even talk to him, at least you have a chance of being successful if you do. And it's the end of the school year, you _really_ want to move on through the rest of your life knowing that you didn't even try? I mean look–he's obviously feeling you. Did you see the way he smiled at you? That's what you call flirting."

She's right. Jensen hates it when she's right.

"Yeah, well, _whatever_," Jensen grumbles stubbornly, and finally, the grave, unfamiliar look on Jessica's face is gone when the corners of her lips twitch into an amused grin.

"You just hate when I'm right."

"Damn right I do," Jensen agrees.

***

The thing is that Jensen has a love-hate relationship with his math class.

On the one hand, he loves that it challenges him. Jensen is best with books and writing and things that require comprehensive thinking, using his imagination to gather what went unsaid by the author and fill in those empty blanks. He just has the eye and skill for that type of stuff.

But when it comes to math, you have to think _logically_. There is no other side to it; just the numbers (and technically letters too), then addition, subtraction, multiplication, and division with some extra rules thrown in there. It forces him to shut down the part of his brain that's always overthinking, because he's so used to things having an additional meaning or way to them that he tends to analyze and search things that aren't there. He's good at math, because he spends nights studying long and hard, but it's still a good challenge for him because he's not exactly a logical thinker. Math doesn't come naturally for him the way books do. He loves it because no matter how much he loves his books and literature, it's no fun in his English class when you already understand everything thrown at you.

On the other hand, he shares his math class with Jared.

Jared is fucking smart. Like, _smart_. When it comes to math, he's like Jensen is with his books. He's got like, the first twenty digits of pi memorized or something like that. For fun. If they're ever stuck on a problem in math, or the teacher slips up, the first person he calls on is Jared. He's never gotten anything below a 98% on the test, and he most definitely hasn't earned anything besides an A in this class.

Calm down, the only reason Jensen knows this is because he's an office proctor so he sometimes gets a peek at grades before delivering them to teacher's mailboxes. Also because tests with highscores get blasted on the bulletin board in the classroom, and there's never a time when Jared's isn't tacked up there. He's not _that_ much of a stalker.

And because of his extensive knowledge of everything numbers, he often gets done with assignments a lot faster than everyone else. The teacher allows and encourages him to help people, and if no one has directly asked, he usually just walks around and checks over people's work to ensure that everything's going smoothly.

Which is how Jensen is prompted to damn near shit himself in the middle of class.

"How's it going?"

Startling, he sucks in a sharp gasp and successfully launches his pencil to the front of the classroom. He hears Jared's deep chuckle, looking over his shoulder, he finds that Jared's towering over him. Jensen places his hand over his heart and, though he's not sure that his racing heartbeat is an effect of the initial jumpscare or Jared speaking to him, he's gonna use the latter as an excuse for his shortness of breath and lack of words either way.

"Working everything out okay?" Jared says, arching a questioning eyebrow as he pulls a chair up beside Jensen and peers down at his paper.

"Oh–uh, yeah, I'm almost done, so..." Jensen manages to keep his stammers down, and he hopes the wobble in his voice isn't as audible to Jared's ears as it is to his own.

"So are you really good at math and just keeping it secret? Because every time I offer my help you never need it." Jared's voice holds a note of wittiness, and he angles Jensen that same smirk he got in the library today. Jensen feels his cheeks warm and his palms moisten, so he drags his hands down the length of his thighs. Jared seems to notice and tracks the motion, smirk widening further before he looks back up to meet Jensen's gaze again.

"No, I... you're definitely smarter than I am. Just, kinda more of a nerd who reads and studies a lot." Jensen chuckles, fumbling with the corner of his textbook as he pretends to read over his work, even though he really can't do anything at the moment because his pencil is halfway across the room. Shit, this is exactly what he meant earlier about being a clutz around Jared.

"Well there's nothing wrong with that," Jared says. Jensen's eyes dart to where Jared's scooting his chair closer, _leaning_ closer, and Jensen instinctively sucks his bottom lip in his mouth. Jared's eyes zero in his mouth, where Jensen's chewing on his lip like a dog with a bone. Blinking and looking back up at Jensen, he goes, "I don't read much for fun, but I do pick up a book every now and then. Guess that's why I don't complain about studying."

"_Those who do not complain are never pitied_," Jensen finds himself citing, a quote from Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice. That book is one of the few cliches that he's enjoyed. Or maybe he just loves Jane Austen and her work, he doesn't know, but Pride and Prejudice is one of his favorite books and sometimes he just can't help quoting it when the time seems right. But now? The time isn't right. Now, while he's managing to uphold a stable conversation with the person he's spent years drooling at, is not the time to go full geek and start spewing quotes from a book that's two-hundred years old.

But Jared doesn't seem bothered by it. In fact, he seems to be shocked that Jensen said it. "No, I guess they aren't."

Jensen's stomach flutters, is full of the tickling wings of butterflies and it feels like any moment now his gut is going to explode and burst wide open with them. He looks fixedly down at his paper again, bashful, and he can see in his peripheral vision that Jared's focused on a specific point in his bag. His mind automatically jolts to his blog for some odd reason, like maybe his laptop is giving off some kind of _I belong to your blogger secret admirer!_ vibes, and so he glances down and realizes that the only thing visible is a couple pamphlets from his choice of colleges.

"USC, huh?" Jared asks, and Jensen turns to look at him.

Jensen doesn't know if he's going to USC, but he'd _love_ to. When he was younger he had dreamt about going and made it his long-term goal, but now that he's older and the real possibility of him going is right on his ass, he doesn't like the idea of leaving his family behind and being all on his own out there, no one with him. Not seeing Chris, Danneel or Jess, it's something that pains him every time the image crosses his mind. But it's also hard for him to think about staying here, passing up the opportunity of starting somewhere fresh and going to an amazing school.

His mom is encouraging him to go, thinks it'll be good for him; help him come out of his shell some, have more freedom in a place like California, find a guy to make him happy. She's of course gonna miss him, but she knows that he needs it, knows that there's a better life waiting for him in California. He's already got an acceptance letter and everything but he's still not sure. It's something he's thought hard about, and he still has a long way to go before he makes a final decision. "An option. Thinking about staying here, though."

Jared nods thoughtfully. "What's your...?"

"Journalism," Jensen answers, and Jared nods again.

"Engineering for me. Computer engineering, most likely. Figured I should do something with my mathematical brain." Jared chuckles. "You like books though, so Journalism's not really a shock."

"Is it that obvious?" Jensen asks, tilting his head.

"You are kind of best-friends with the librarian."

Jensen gasps, and Jared leans back with his hands up defensively, laughing. "I said there's nothing wrong with it! '_A person may be proud without being vain. Pride relates more to our opinion of ourselves, vanity to what we would have others think of us_.' You don't care what others think, but you aren't a dick about it. I like that."

_Did he just_...

Jensen was honestly doing great up until Jared had to go and quote Jane Austen. His favorite book of all time, Jared just _quoted_ it, then in turn used it to compliment him. Now he's pretty sure he's red as a tomato and is gawking with his mouth open, hoping that by some sort of miracle he's not completely humiliating himself, and there's really no way he isn't because that's how dumb he has to look right now, gaping like a fish. Jared just smiles wide and then goes for the kill.

"You're cute, Jensen," He says, like Jensen might be an adorable, fluffy puppy, then he hops up from his chair and moves back to his seat next to Sandy.

Jensen doesn't finish his assignment.

***

The end of the day means it's time for him to go to his mom's bakery. His car is a little black Honda Accord, and his brother Josh always says that his car is feminine. Whatever. He got it for a good price and it runs nice, so if it's a "girly" car, then so be it. It gets him around, and Jensen's more in touch with his feminine side, anyway.

And as Jensen is waiting in the line of traffic to get out of the school parking lot, nodding his head and singing along to his shuffled playlist, there's a rapping on the passenger window of his car. He damn near springs out of his seat, head thumping the roof of his car and knuckles banging against the glass of his window. Glancing over, he notices that it's Chris and unlocks the doors with a frown.

"What the hell, Chris? You fucking scared me," Jensen says, chest heaving, and Chris grins broadly as he slides into the passenger seat.

He's known Chris since freshman year. Chris has a snarky ass attitude and they initially started out at as enemies. Sort of. Jensen really had no hard feelings against the guy, but Chris hated him... again, sort of. Chris just automatically dislikes anyone he doesn't know, but when they worked on a science project together, their friendship blossomed. It honestly still baffles Jensen how _he_ isn't the one who hated Chris, because the guy's kind of an asshole, but he just kind of grew on Jensen. And he really had no choice but to befriend him when he found out about Jensen's itty-bitty crush on Jared.

Jensen should seriously stop leaving his blog open when he shuts his laptop screen. It's a bad habit.

"You were just too deep into your song there. Sucks you sing so good to such crappy music," Chris says as he shoves his bag onto the ground.

Jensen's mouth drops open and he glares openly at Chris. "Sleeping at Last does not have crappy music, you ass."

Jensen loves _Sleeping at Last_. He loves the covers he makes, loves the instrumentals, and as a writer, Jensen _loves _the lyrics to the songs he writes. Him and Chris only share a bit of the same interest in music, and Jensen knows that Chris doesn't listen to _Sleeping at Last,_ but that doesn't make his music _crappy_.

Chris just gives a dismissive grunt.

Jensen rolls his eyes and hands Chris his phone, that way he can pick some music to listen to. "What, are you coming to the bakery with me or something?"

"Well we were hoping you'd take a bit of a detour but it's only a couple minutes away from there and you're getting gas money anyway because I'm an awesome friend who wants you to secure the bag."

"We–?"

Just then his back doors open, and he turns and watches as Tom and Mike climb inside, both sporting wide smiles.

"Hey Jensen," Tom says, waving, "Thanks a lot. We're sorry to give you trouble."

"Thanks for...?"

"Dropping us off at Tom's house. I sent you the address? And he's gonna give you gas money. Because you're _going way out of your way._" Chris tilts his head suggestively. Jensen just gives a slow, confused nod.

"Yeah, here's thirty," Tom says, holding his hand out at Mike. Jensen sees Tom raise an eyebrow at him, and Mike sighs before slapping a ten into Tom's palm. Tom then pulls a twenty from his pocket and hands both bills to Jensen, which makes Jensen smile and thank him. He's not a gold digger or anything, but hey, money is money.

Pulling ahead a bit when the traffic moves, he sighs when he has to come to another stop and wait. It's ridiculous the amount of traffic at this exit after school.

Once he pulls up the address in his GPS, he realizes that Chris is right and it's nowhere near out of his way, not worth any additional gas money and certainly not thirty dollars worth. Tom and Mike are good people and he, like Jensen said earlier, considers them friends, so he really doesn't mind giving them a ride especially when it's just two blocks past the bakery. He'll give the money back to them before they get out of the car.

On the way there, Tom, Mike and Chris talk about whatever they plan on doing when they get to their house. Something about a tournament on some game on Tom's Xbox, Jensen wasn't really paying much attention. What he was really thinking about is Jared earlier today.

Jensen doesn't want to believe it because it sounds too damn good to be true, even if Jessica said it, but... was Jared _flirting_ with him today?

It's hard to think about. Not only was that the longest conversation they've ever had, but Jared actually said he was cute. That Jensen, geekiest geek to geek of all geeks, was _cute_, and Jared even said he likes Jensen's geekiness! And that Jared likes that he stays true to himself! And he quoted his favorite book!

If Jared never spoke to him, Jensen would be okay with it. This is enough to make Jensen happy for the rest of his life. If anyone was going to make a move to initiate something between them, he thought it'd be him to do it, definitely not Jared. This is more than he ever expected from him.

He just can't keep the goofy grin off his face. It's impossible.

"Why're you so happy?" Chris demands, and when Jensen starts to deny that he's any happier than usual, he shakes his head stubbornly. "Uh-uh, you've got that love-sick puppy dog look in your eyes. What'd he say?"

Jensen shoots Chris a look that screams _shut up_, and Chris just sighs. "Turn here. I'm gonna come by later and you're gonna tell me what's got you looking like you got your dick wet for the first time."

"Whatever, Chris." Jensen sighs with a chuckle, turning into the neighborhood Tom lives in. When prompted, he turns onto the court and stops in front of a big, beautiful house that's got perfectly leveled fresh green grass, rose bushes lined up at the edge of the porch, and there's even a dog lying out in the front. It looks like something dropped straight out of a commercial.

"This is me," Tom says. Chris hops out of the car, giving Jensen a stern look that he ignores, and Mike climbs out after Tom.

"Hey Tom!" Jensen calls, and Tom spins, poking his head back into the door. "Here, I was coming in this area anyway. No need for the gas money."

"Nah, it's cool. You still went out of your way." Tom waves his hand. "Maybe you can use it to get here this weekend. I'll be throwing a party."

Of course. No house like that with someone like Tom living in it is going without some type of party. Now that Jensen thinks about it, this could be the house everyone goes to for the parties now, especially since that Michael kid who used to throw parties moved for college last year... makes sense now. "Will you, now?" Jensen asks with a tilt of his head, and Tom nods with a small grin.

"Yessir. And Jared will be coming."

Jensen's eyes bulge and he feels his face pale. There's no confusing what Tom is suggesting, especially with the way he's arching an eyebrow at Jensen like he's just _waiting_ for Jensen to deny it. Jensen sputters and still tries to play it off as if that has no meaning to him. "Err... okay?"

"I _know_, Jensen. Chris talks a lot when he gets high and that's all he's been doing for the past three days. Don't worry though–your secret's safe with me. But uh, as a friend of Jared's... just come to the party. Chris can get you the details."

Tom pulls away from the car and shuts the door behind him, giving Jensen one last wave before going to meet Chris and Mike on the porch.

_Fucking Chris and his gigantic mouth_, Jensen rolls his eyes, putting the car in drive and circling out of the court.

***

Working at the bakery has its pros and has its cons. Like he mentioned before, his mom owns it of course, and she's incredibly flexible all around. Jensen earns more and gets longer lunch breaks than he would working somewhere else, Jensen gets to eat for free, Jensen can be a bit late without worrying about losing his job (and he's never _purposefully_ late because he doesn't take advantage of the fact that he can be; that's unfair to other employees and to his mom).

Actually, there aren't many cons about working at the bakery except that it can get messy. And then the only other one, which isn't even much of a con, is when people come in and they recognize him. It's that sort of thing where he has no reason to be embarrassed but he is anyway, kind of like when you pretend not to see people you know at the store. It's not like he's going to find any other job at seventeen where he won't be recognized by people he knows, or one with so many benefits, so it's best to just stick it out here.

"Hey Jensen!"

Jensen peeks up from where he's loading pastries into the glass, spotting Sandy with Chad in tow. They've come in plenty of times before but it all feels different now, with Jared speaking to him in math and all. God, Jensen is such a _dork_.

He gives a polite smile and stands from where he was crouched on the ground. "Uh, hi Sandy, Chad. Can I get you anything?"

"Do you guys have any brownies ready? Been craving 'em," She says, peering into the glass where they store their baked goods.

"We just had a fresh batch come up..." He pulls the glass door open and tugs on a clean glove. "How many?"

"Uh..." She turns to Chad, eyes narrowing just a tad. "How many you think for Jared?"

"You know his fat ass inhales those things. Get him two."

Jensen bites back the smile that wants to cross his face at the sound of Jared because, well, he's so far gone for him that just his name makes his heart skip a beat. But hearing Chad say that Jared always gets two makes him think back, and he's certain that he's never seen Jared step foot in this place. It'd be a real shame if he came in on the weekends, which is his off days, or if he comes by at lunch or something when Jensen's eating with Jess. Sandy usually drops by every now and again, sometimes alone and sometimes with Chad, but never with Jared.

It could be that Jared just never comes and Sandy is the one who makes the brownie runs, because she tends to get quite a few at once whether she's with Chad or not. He's not going to ask, though. Perhaps he'll just drop in this weekend to... help his mom, because he's a great, helpful son, and not because he wants to see if Jared will come by. What? Pshh, never that.

"Okay, then that'll be, uh..." Sandy's eyes go unfocused, counting on her fingers. "Five brownies. No, wait, I forgot Tom and Mike were coming. Do you have nine?"

"Yup." Jensen nods. He grabs one of the boxes from beneath the counter, unfolds it, and pulls off three rows of the brownies. He puts the brownies inside the box and closes it up, tucking the tab into the slit, then slides the box onto the counter.

Once he rings up the brownies, he says, "That's going to be..." But he trails off when he looks up and is met with intensely scrutinizing gaze from the two pairs of eyes belonging to the people standing before him. He instantly brings his hand up to his face, hoping he doesn't have any flour, powdered sugar, or possibly chocolate on his face that no one informed him of from when he had a cookie earlier. "What? Is there something on my face?"

"You are really, really pretty for a guy." Sandy's tone is earnest and it makes Jensen want to crawl under the counter, curl up into a ball and just hide his "pretty" face away. Not because Sandy's complimenting him, but because... it's just the look on her face, the way she's staring at him. The grave expression she's wearing is disconcerting.

"Thanks... I guess?" Jensen gives a lopsided smile, shoulder coming up at the end of his sentence.

"Are you gay? There's no way you aren't gay with those lips." Chad points, and Sandy sucks in a sharp gasp before she slaps his stomach, causing him to flinch and wince.

"Chad!" She scolds, rolling her eyes before turning towards Jensen, heading moving in long sweeps from side to side. "I'm sorry. He's a bit of an ass and thinks with his dick."

"Um, I'm not thinking with my dick, it was just an observation. I'm strictly clitly." He pats his chest, seemingly...proud, and Jensen just cocks an eyebrow.

"It's fine, but um..." Jensen's face scrunches up before he finally tears his eyes away from Chad. It's crazy how they're friends with the guy. Not even because of the question he asked Jensen, because it doesn't offend him and he's heard it many times over, but because he can tell this guy is um... what's the word... a bit, crazy? "Yeah, I'm gay."

"Really?" Sandy's mouth upturns, and she has a beautiful smile. Being that Jared is bisexual, it's a shock to him that they're so close and haven't ever gotten together. She's a gorgeous girl. "...Interesting. You and Jared, I seen you guys talking in math. He told me about you."

"Yeah?" Jensen scratches behind his ear, eyes dropping to the counter and cheeks reddening. He peeks back up when he doesn't hear another response, and finds that their both watching him again, this time with identical smirks.

"What is it now?" Jensen's eyes narrow as he looks between the two. Sandy just giggles.

"Nothing, Jensen. How much is it again?"

"Oh, uh." He glances back down at the register. "13.06, please."

Sandy pulls her wallet out of her purse, pulling out a ten and a five dollar bill, and he takes it. "Wait!" She hands him a nickel and a penny. He puts the money in the register, handing her two ones as her change.

"Thanks for coming in," Jensen gives a toothless grin as Chad grabs the box, bringing it to his nose and sniffing hard. Jensen refuses to react to that.

"Thanks, Jensen!" Sandy smiles sweetly and waves, turning on her heels and taking a single step before she's whirling back around. "Oh, wait! Are you single?"

The question catches Jensen off guard. Of course he's single, but there's no doubt in his mind who she's asking for. Considering Jensen is gay, she's obviously not asking for herself, and considering Chad is... "strictly clitly", it's obviously not for him. Gulping, he gives a single nod, and her smile widens. "Great!"

And with that, she turns and heads out the door with Chad on her heels. His sister Mackenzie, who's just been standing off to the side and watching the entire interaction, gives a long whistle tone before spinning around to finish wiping down the end of the counter. "The people you go to school with are weirdos."

She's not exactly wrong.

***

Chris shows up later as promised, only about a half hour after Sandy and Chad leaves.

"Left Tom and Mike already?" Jensen says as Chris sits down on a barstool, slumping over the counter with his eyes low and pupils dilated. At least he had the decency to change his shirt and lose the potent smell of his after-school activities.

"Mhm," Chris hums, and then says, "Hey momma Ackles."

"Hey sweetheart," She calls from the back. "Go ahead and get yourself something."

"Thanks," He replies. He smiles smugly as he gestures to the desserts in the glass. "A cookie please, Jenny."

Jensen rolls his eyes and gets him the cookie, placing it on a napkin and handing it to him. "Here you pig. So you left Tom and Mike?"

"They were going to Chad's with Sandy and Jared, but I had to get back here with _you_ so I could hear the tea about today. Spill."

Before Jensen can help it, he grins as he thinks about what happened.

He fills Chris in on everything–the entire blog thing, Jared in the library, Jared in math, what Tom said about coming to the party (and when he scolded Chris for his gigantic mouth, Jensen found out that he left out the blog bit, thank God), and lastly, Sandy and Chad. Chris isn't usually as invested in the Jared stuff because he didn't understand why Jensen wouldn't just go up to him, but even now he's actively listening and it seems that his eyebrows jump further into his hairline every time Jensen adds a new detail.

"Woah," Chris finally says when Jensen's finished cluing him in. "That's crazy."

"I know! But I don't know what to think of it."

"The guy is flirting with you, Jensen. What else _could_ you think of it?" Mackenzie adds her two cents, to which Jensen huffs with aggravation.

"You don't have to be a smart ass, y'know," Jensen puts a hand on his hip, gesturing with the other. "Why would he just start flirting with me out of nowhere, huh?"

"High school is ending and prom is coming up, duh. Now's the time _everyone_ is going to be making a move. You're just too scary to be one of them."

When Jensen draws his head back, shocked, he hears Chris snort. "Mack's got a point."

Jensen frowns and crosses his arms. "Shut up."

***

"So, I hear you're single."

Jensen pauses and looks over his shoulder, already knows who he's going to find there. Jared's cheeks dimple with the intensity of his smile and he sits down in a chair he dragged up, completely bypasses the step where he leaves space in between them this time. The corners of Jensen's lips twitch a bit, nodding slowly. "Yes... I am. I'm guessing Sandy told you that."

"She may have mentioned it." Jared shrugs like it's no big deal, which it may not to be to someone else, but it is to Jensen. Sandy going and telling Jared that he's single is equivalent to Sandy telling Jared that Jensen is available for him to take if he wants. Of course that doesn't automatically mean Jared is going to hit on him, but it's nice to know that someone Jared's close to thinks that he should know Jensen's up for grabs. Sandy knows Jared well enough to know his type, so what does that have to say about her telling him that?

"Right." Jensen chuckles, tapping his pencil on his paper. His eyebrow furrows a bit in frustration as he stares down at the problem he's working on. He's been trying to figure out how he got the problem wrong, because the x doesn't cancel out like it's supposed to, and his mind has been working at it for the past five minutes. Jared notices and comes in even closer, shoulders brushing Jensen's when he does.

"Finally need my help?" Jared smirks, and Jensen finds himself chuckling again.

"Maybe..." He drawls, sliding the paper closer. "Can you tell me where I'm messing up?"

"Hm..." Jared hums. His lip curls and he squints a bit, bending down to the paper, eyes trailing over Jensen's work and completely focused on the task Jensen's asked of him; it's fucking sexy, watching how he's completely shut down and blurred out what's going on around him at the blink of an eye. Goodness he's so good at math, with numbers, and Jensen is such a sucker for smart guys. Or, then again, maybe he's just a sucker for Jared. Whatever. He just loves it.

It isn't long before Jared tilts back and drops his finger to a point in his problem, sliding the paper over with it. "See here? When you were finding the square of x."

Jensen does his best to ignore Jared's finger in front of him because he has a serious thing for the guy's fingers. It's like seeing them sets off a chain reaction in his mind, forces him to daydream about 'em.

He examines the work and realizes that Jared is right. It was a simple mistake–just a slip-up in his division.

"You're right," Jensen voices, "Rookie mistake."

"Good thing you've got a math freak like me on your hands." Jared flicks his hand at the tips of his hair, eyes twinkling, and Jensen snorts when he laughs despite himself. He notices Jared watching him though, tiny smile on his face, and so Jensen chuckles a bit when he asks, "What?"

"Nothing." Jared blinks, shaking his head like he hadn't realized he was staring. Licking his lips and leaning back in his chair, his eyes sweep over Jensen's body from his shoes to the top of his head in one swift drag. Jensen feels warmth bloom at the base of his spine and spread all throughout his body. "So... you're sure you're single?"

"Yes, Jared, I'm _pretty_ sure I'm not dating anyone."

Jared laughs as he says, "I'm just making sure! Because now's your chance to tell me you're taken."

Jensen's not sure if he's reading too deep into this, but what he's hearing is Jared telling him, _Now's your chance to let me down gently. Right now you can tell me you have a boyfriend and I'll back off, leave you alone, and you'll never have to worry about me again._

"Nope, completely single. Hope that doesn't ruin your plans for me."

"Oh trust me, that just sets my plan into action," Jared says as he stands from his seat, winking. "Later, Jen."

Jensen grins, face and tips of ears ruddy and hot. Jared just called him _Jen_. He's gonna take the memory and lock it in his brain until the day he dies, so that he'll never forget it. Not like he'd ever be able to anyway.

***

"Oh my God Jensen, I told you!" Jessica shrieks, pumping her fist into the air.

"Jess!" He slaps her arm, casting a worried glance in Jared's direction, where he's sitting at his table. Maybe the rest of the class is too loud for him to hear because he doesn't appear to notice, continues his conversation with Tom, Mike, Chad, and Sandy, though Chad seems to be the one doing all the talking. Jensen got a pass in his class after math to come to the library. One, because he knew Jared would be here this hour, and two, because he, in all honesty, couldn't wait to talk to Jessica about what just happened. He figured this was a perfect reason to use a pass. "Don't be too loud!"

"I really can't help it." Jessica beams. "I'm so proud. You guys are like, my top ship. Even over Steroline, and those are _fictional characters_, and you know how much I ship those two. Gah, that reminds me, I need a ship name for you guys. I can't really use the letters of your first name, because they're both Js, so maybe I could do like, Jarsen? I could..."

Jensen rolls his eyes as she goes off, mumbling about ship names and all that. "Yeah, yeah, I have no choice but to know. It's all you talk about."

"Stefan need to quit playing with that girl! He knows she's in love with him!"

"Whatever." Jensen sighs, peeking over the top of the desk at Jared again. His brow hitches when he notices Jared's frowning, deflated. "I wonder what's wrong wi–"

"Look! I don't give a shit, okay? I don't wanna go with him," Jared suddenly outbursts, hand slamming down on the table with a loud smack that seems to reverberate.

Jensen startles a bit, as does Jessica, and the entire library has gone silent. All eyes are on Jared, who's bowed his head and has blush sweeping up his neck and his face in shame. Jensen wants to get up and shield him from all the speculating eyes. He's clearly upset about something, and whatever it is must have angered him enough to get him this way. Jared's usually a calm and collected guy and it takes a lot to get him upset. Jessica stands and orders everyone to get back to what they're doing, and the murmurs resume as everyone returns to their tasks.

"Jared," Jessica calls softly. Jared takes a deep breath and stands, doesn't bother looking up as he trudges over. Jessica glances down at Jensen before she turns back to Jared, who still has his eyes fixated on the ground when he reaches the desk. Jensen feels sadness wash over him; he looks like a kicked puppy. "You know you're one of my favorites, but I can't have you yelling in my library."

"I know. I apologize." Jared finally lifts his head. Jensen can see that Jared's noticeably avoid his gaze. "I shouldn't have gotten so upset. I'm sorry."

"Is there something I should know about? There's nothing going on over there, is it? You guys are all good friends." Jessica nods over to the table. Jared shakes his head quickly.

"No, no, I really did overreact. It's just that," Jared's eyes flicker towards Jensen's for just a second before he looks away, scratching at his neck. "There's this... blog."

Jensen freezes. The blog? That's what made happy, upbeat, kind, optimistic Jared get so angry that he yelled in the middle of class?

Jensen sinks down into his chair a bit, and he finds it easier to mind his business now that he knows what got Jared so riled up. Instead, he writes on a piece of scratch paper with a felt marker, connecting and swirling his letters in a way that he finds aesthetically pleasing. He's annoyed to find the letters make out _Jared_, then hurries to ball it up and toss it in the recycling bin before Jared can notice it.

"Yes... I've heard." Jessica clears her throat. "That's what has you so upset? Shouldn't you be flattered?"

Jensen can hear when Jessica's trying to help him, and he's grateful for it.

"Yeah I really am, it's just... everyone wants me to send this guy a message, take him to prom. And I feel shitty–sorry, crappy for not wanting to anymore."

"...Anymore?"

"Yeah, I was going to–it was kind of cheesy. I was gonna ask him out on the blog or something, I don't know, thought it'd be kind of cute. But now I don't know, 'cause..."

If Jensen was a dog, you'd see his ear go up when he heard that. Jared was thinking of sending him–_J_, sending _J_ a message and taking him to prom? But how would Jared even know if J was someone he would be interested in? He was just going to–to take him to prom? What if J was actually one of the teachers who's a pedophile, and who wants to buttfuck Jared because they like to feast on the young?

"_Oh_..." Jessica says, and when Jensen's head rises to see what that was about, Jessica's sporting a blinding smile and Jared's nodding with rosy cheeks. "I see. Alright, well, it'll all work out. Do what you think is best, okay? Either way I think you'll be fine."

Jared just nods again, rapping his knuckles against the desk with a tight-lipped smile. "Thanks, Ms. Alba."

Even though Jared was upset, he still manages to wave at Jensen with a smile that's less tense than the one he gave Jessica (if this is the special treatment he's gonna start getting, Jensen is completely down for it), and Jensen returns the wave, hoping he sends his concern and feel better vibes through the smile he gives. It must work because he livens up and nods, dimples poking into cheeks with a smile that shows no trace of him ever being upset. When he walks away, Jessica's watching him closely.

"You two are so cute." Her voice is gentle, and she plops down into her seat.

"Whatever," Jensen says, waving her off, but with a small smile.

***

"Jensen!"

Jensen spins on his heels and spots Jared jogging–sprinting—towards him. Jensen purses his lips in an attempt to keep from laughing, watching as Jared catches up with him and flips his hair out of his face, just for it to flop right back into his eyes. That kills the attempt.

"You...you walk really fucking fast," Jared huffs, "I'd hate to chase you down when you're running, shit. Have you ever considered track? Or–or maybe a speedwalking club?"

Jensen's shoulders shake as he continues to laugh. "I did track in middle school," He angles his head back in the direction he was going, and Jared sidles up next to him before they begin walking again. "Yes?"

"What're you doing for lun–oh, library?" Jensen nods, and Jared mimics the action. "Can I join?" Jensen's eyebrows jump. Jared eyes dart back and forth before he juts his chin out. "What?"

"You want to come sit in the library for lunch...?" Jared nods again and Jensen's eyes narrow. "What about Chad? Or Sandy?"

"They'll be fine," Jared shrugs. Jensen gives him a final look before giving in.

"We don't really talk about much," A total lie, but it's not like Jensen can say, _Me and my girl Jess spends all lunch talking about you_, "She already went and got us lunch. I can take you to grab something before we go if you want?" Jensen offers.

"Nah, I'm good. Not really hungry."

***

"You _just_ said you weren't hungry."

Jared gives a lopsided smile. "I just wanted to eat what you were eating."

Jensen sighs, but there's more fondness than irritation behind it. Ripping the top of his tray off, he pours some fries into it and gives him half of the nuggets. Jared's smile widens as he shoves an entire nugget in his mouth and says, "Don't worry, I got you back later."

Jensen blinks, pausing with a french fry half way to his mouth. Jared juts his chin out, silently asking _what_, and Jensen clears his throat. "Are you telling me you'll feed me later?"

"Well it'd only be right, I just took half your lunch. Besides that just gives me an excuse to take you out." Jared grins cheekily. "Win-win."

Take him out? Like on a date?!

"Yes, Jensen, like on a date."

Jensen blushes and smacks Jessica's arm when she giggles beside him. "Ouch! I'm sorry, just, you know. It's like a mother watching her kid ride a bike without training wheels for the first time."

"Oh hush," Jensen says, "You don't even know how to ride a bike."

"That's not fair. I was never taught how to ride without training wheels. My bike with training wheels broke and I never got another one." Jessica's lips turn down as she pouts, and even as childish as she looks, Jensen finds Jared's laugh most adorable.

"I didn't learn how to ride without training wheels until I was fourteen." Jared nods, earnest, then adds, "I broke my arm."

"I've never broken a bone." Jensen pauses to think about that for a moment. "I mean, unless you count the time I broke my pinky."

"That's a bone, Jensen."

Jensen flips him off, and Jared only cackles again. "Shut up. It was when I played basketball, in eighth. It bent this way when I broke it." Jensen bends his pinky back. Jared grimaces with an _ouch_. "It hurt like a bitch, and I haven't played any more sports. Well, joined a team anyway."

"Basketball, huh? You still play?"

Jensen hopes he not suggesting what he thinks, because no, he doesn't play anymore. The last time he played an official game was years ago with Josh. Every now and then he'll go outside and shoot some hoops.

And when he says "shoot some hoops", he means that as he waits for Mackenzie to come outside on the mornings she misses the bus, he'll pick up the ball, dribble it, and when Mackenzie comes out, he'll shoot, miss, then get laughed at. It's true that you've got to keep up with sports if you want to stay good at them, because he most definitely _sucks_ at basketball now. It's not like he was ever great to begin with. In eighth grade, the coach admitted that he usually picks a person who isn't that good but has potential so he can work with them, see their growth.

Jensen was that person.

He honest to God hadn't expected to make the team. The true reason he even tried out was because a friend of his, Jason, had asked Jensen to do it with him for fun. You could say Jason was kind of upset when he hadn't made it and Jensen did, spewing a few choice words that weren't so kind. Jensen didn't care to respond much, just hit him with a, "Okay, but which one of us made it on the basketball team?" Jason never spoke to him again.

"Not exactly," Jensen says, and before Jared can open his mouth good, he cuts him off with a lifted hand. "Nope, I'm not playing basketball with you."

"But _why_? You can help me practice," Jared whines, "Please play with me, Jen? You don't have to be shy in front of me. I'm not gonna judge you, promise."

Jensen notes the sudden lack of space between them, inches between their bodies, and he–fuck, is he giving Jensen the puppy dog eyes? _They're all the colors_, Jensen thinks. _He has all those colors in his eyes_.

There's no way Jensen can say no to that. Jared looks like a kid who was just denied candy, for crying out loud. Plus, he _has_ started to open up to Jared and has grown to be comfortable around him, quicker than he expected, because with him it's so _easy_. They just click. It's hard to believe they've only been talking since Monday.

Jensen's even began to flirt back when Jared does and he still gets that twinge of nervousness when he says something risquè, matching Jared with the same energy he's been receiving, but he's gotten better at saying it anyway because logically he knows Jared isn't going to push him away. If anything, Jared looks a bit shocked, but then goes and says something even filthier. So why act all shy now? And imagine, Jensen gets one on one time with Jared. Skin, muscles, _sweat_...

Jensen jerks when Jared taps his leg. "Huh? Yes! I change my mind. I wanna see you swe–practice! I wanna see you _practice_."

Jared's nod is slow and drawn out, and the smirk growing on his face is anything but innocent. "Mhm."

"...Yeah. But I have work after school during the weekdays."

"This weekend, then."

"The party though," Jensen reminds him. "I thought you were–I mean, uh, there's a party at Tom's and I heard you were going?"

"You _heard_ I was going?" Jared's smirk widens. _Asshole. _Jensen huffs and pinches his thigh, drawing a yelp from him. Hm, nice thighs. Nice, _durable_ thighs.

"Yes, I did. Tom told me that I should come just because you would be there, so who should we _really_ be trying to tease here?" Jensen arches an eyebrow, and he sees that rare flush rise to Jared's cheeks.

"Shut up," Jared mumbles. "Well... why don't we just do it tonight? And then we can go eat after? You know, basketball makes me real hungry."

"I bet it does, you gigantor," Jensen reaches out on an impulse and squeezes Jared's bicep, sucking in a soft breath at the feel of tight muscle beneath soft skin. He flinches a bit when Jared flexes, feels his arm jump beneath his fingers and he loves the look of it under his hand. He glimpses up at Jared and sees him watching Jensen with an open leer; no doubt that's what it is. Jensen pulls his hand away and licks his lips, watching as the corner of Jared's twitch into a smirk.

"And I bet you like that." Jared's huffs out a laugh and he scoots closer. "So, consider it a date?"

Jensen wants to agree, but, "Remember I said I have work? And you want to go out to eat all sweaty?"

Jared frowns and slumps back in his chair. "Right. Damn, you're smart."

"And that's coming from you, the math genius."

"Yes, and it's going to the damn human dictionary," Jared retorts, barking out a laugh out a laugh. He mimics a rimshot and hisses perfectly.

"Nice rimshot, doofus." Jensen gives an appreciative nod. "But okay, how about this. You take me out for dinner tomorrow, before the party, but tonight we go play basketball. Deal?"

Jared still has that adorable pout on his face when he agrees, "...Okay. You don't think there's anyway you can get off early?"

"It's my mom's bakery so I most definitely could, but she'll need my help today. Danneel's off so Mackenzie's filling in, and my mom doesn't like her to be by herself in the front."

Danneel's a great employee. She hardly ever misses a day, never late, and always charms the customers. But recently she's been going on some colleges visits, so it's her third day off this week. She's making it up by taking the hours that Mackenzie works this weekend (Mack usually works then since she has more activities after school than Jensen does, while Jensen has more things to do on the weekends than on weekdays), but his mom likes for there to be someone else at the register when Mackenzie works because she's only fourteen.

Josh and a friend of his named Ben works in the mornings on weekdays, Jensen and Danneel in the afternoon on weekdays, then his dad and Mackenzie on the weekends. His mom is in there everyday from open to close with his aunt joining to help some days, but she usually just pops in at random times during the day. It works excellently for everyone and fits their schedules seamlessly.

The only thing is that if anyone needs time off, it can kind of offset the balance everyone's set up. Everyone knows that it's important, why Danneel took off, and luckily it was an easy fix. That just means Jensen won't be able to take off early which is fine by him.

"Wait–_your mom_ owns that bakery? The one that Sandy always gets the brownies from? The one my mom orders cinnamon rolls from like, faithfully? It's uh... Donna's Sweet Treats or something like that?"

Jensen cringes at the sound of his mother's bakery coming from Jared's mouth–he never has favored the name much. "Yeah, that's it."

"I haven't been in so long. And how come you're never in there? I've never seen you the few times I've been."

"I mean... I work during the week, I haven't worked a weekend in some months now." Jensen scratches his head. "The only time I work weekends is if I need a day off, and I hardly ever do, so..."

"Huh. I guess I'll start picking up my mom's cinnamon rolls and making the trips with Sandy." Jared gives a broad smile, one that makes Jensen's stomach flip. "Your mom's a great baker, by the way."

"She'll be happy to hear it." Jensen grins back. "So? Basketball tonight, food tomorrow?"

"Yessir."

They spend the rest of their lunch relatively quiet, eating and pretty much just shooting pointed looks at each other, blushing when Jessica comments on how ca-_yute_ they are. When the bell rings Jensen gathers up their trash and Jared yelps, hand gripping Jensen's wrist when he crumples a napkin into his hand.

"Read it," Jared juts his chin out at it. Jensen's face scrunches up in confusion, and ignoring the way Jared's thumb sweeps over Jensen's pulse before he drops Jensen's wrist, he opens up the napkin and finds a number scribbled on it with a winky face. By the time Jensen looks back up, Jared is already on his feet with the trash in his hand.

"You do what you want with that," He says with a wink and a dirty smirk.

Jensen flushes and watches him go, the once steady thud of his heart now racing and about ready to burst right from his chest capacity. Jessica taps his hand and when Jensen blinks down at her, she's wearing a proud smile.

"Don't be late for class, hun," She says, and Jensen nods. He gathers the things he brought with him, and it's as he's pushing the door open that he pauses and steps back.

"You know, I love you Jess. I don't want us to lose touch after I graduate."

"You could never get rid of me that easy, Jense," Jessica teases, but he reads everything he needs to in her eyes. "Go on. Be extra flirty in math."

Barking out a laugh, he exits the library with high spirits.

***

Nominations started for prom King and Queen that day and there's so much talk about nominating Jared and the J guy who wants to smash (and no, they aren't just saying that, have you seen the things on Jensen's blog?). It's bothering Jensen because of the whole blog thing, but it's _definitely_ gotten to Jared, and it's obvious when Jensen spots him in math. He's already got his chair pulled up to Jensen's desk, but he's frowning down at his hands, bangs hanging in his eyes, and he doesn't bother brushing them away.

Jensen walks up slow, like approaching a wild animal, and he lowers himself down into his seat. He gives it a couple seconds, chiefly so he can gather the courage to do so, before reaching out and grabbing Jared's hand. They've never done this type of thing, even though Jared's touched him all over (no, not that way you perv, more like lingering touches to the shoulders and arms), and given him hugs (did Jensen forget to mention that this guy gives _the _best hugs?! It's ridiculous, like he's a big, fluffy teddy bear to bury his face in), and Jensen's a bit surprised with himself for being the one to initiate this kind of interaction.

That's when Jared pulls a deep breath in through his nostrils and exhales slowly through his lips, lifting his head and giving Jensen a smile that doesn't necessarily meet his eyes.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Jensen asks, and as scared as he is about the blog thing, it's impossible to let Jared sit here in such a funk. It's so different from how he normally is, all animated hand gestures and dimpled cheeks, and it tugs on Jensen's heart strings to see him confused and upset.

"It's just this blog thing. I don't–" Jared sighs, shaking his head. "I don't want to take this 'J' guy to prom. He seems really sweet, but I just..."

Before this past Monday, it would have crushed Jensen's heart to hear that. But it doesn't anymore. Jared likes Jensen. Jared's not rejecting _him_, he's rejecting J. And while that _is_ Jensen and those _are_ Jensen's works, Jared's not aware of that. He knows Jensen and he likes Jensen for who he is. That's more than enough for him. Plus, whose fault is it that Jared doesn't know the true identity of the blogger boy he's rejecting?

"You do what feels best. If it's really eating at you," Jensen tilts his head one way, "then go with J. If you really don't want to," Jensen tilts his head the other way with a small shrug, "then you don't have to. J likes _you_, doesn't mean you have to take him to prom."

Jared sighs again. "I just feel bad, you know? That J person, he seemed like someone I could really vibe with, but–and this is not how I wanted to say this–I really like you, Jen. And we've only been talking since Monday but I've had my eye on you for so long, and it's my last prom. I wanna take _you_ to prom, not J. He seems great and he would probably be my second choice. But you? I can't pass you up for him. I just can't."

Jensen jerks, swallowing the sharp gasp that works it's way up from his chest. Jared just asked him to prom. Jared fucking Padalecki... asked him... to _prom_.

Never in a million years would Jensen imagine that Jared would ask him to prom. He doesn't know what to say and he doesn't know how to react, stupidly blinking at him because his mind is like a blank, empty void of space and all his brain cells are powered down, kicking back and enjoying the movie projected through Jensen's eyes. Jared's staring at him now, hope shining bright in his eyes but shadowed with fear and anxiousness. And Jensen wants, he wishes they weren't in this stupid class right now because he wants to kiss Jared like he's never kissed anyone else before (because he hasn't, not seriously), and he's frustrated because he can't.

Okay, he can't leave Jared hanging like this because he's starting to look like that kicked puppy again.

"Oh... it's fine, I–"

"Jared," Jensen whispers, bringing a gentle finger to his lips, shuddering because they're so damn soft. "Hush. Of course I'll go to prom with you."

Jensen pulls away his finger and Jared lights up like a Christmas tree or like New York's skyline at night, all twinkling eyes, dimpled cheeks and blinding smiles. He snatches up Jensen's hand and brings it back to his lips, purses them and pecks each of Jensen's knuckles, so, so gentle.

Jensen shudders with a content sigh. His fingers tingle where Jared left sweet kisses, and he sinks back into his chair with a bashful smile on his face.

"You know, it's not like they're even going to let you and J both be prom Kings, that being gay and all..."

"Yeah, you're right. It's just getting to me that everyone's so worried about J. I'd rather them talk about me 'n you."

Jensen's smile widens. Who knew Jared was such a charmer? Actually, who is Jensen kidding. "Don't worry, you don't gotta show me off. I know how you feel." Jensen imitates his nonchalant shrug. Jared laughs with a shake of his head.

"Alright then, mister. How do I feel?"

"Exactly the way I do."

"And how do you feel?"

Jensen looks down at his hands, sheepish. How does he feel for Jared? Well, he's all he could ever think about before they officially began talking, and now Jensen gets this floating sensation whenever Jared enters his thoughts, like Jared's a drug that Jensen's high off of.

But how does Jensen feel? He doesn't know. He knows one thing for certain though.

"Like I'm really enjoying this so far and... I'd like to see how this plays out."

Jared simply smiles, genuine and wide, and Jensen returns the favor.

***

Later that evening around six, Jared shows up at the bakery. He's got Sandy and Chad with him, and Jensen's not sure if he's glad about that or if he wishes it was just Jared (he's lying; he is sure, and it's the latter). Doesn't matter, he'll be with Jared on his own later. He's waited four years–he can wait another couple hours to be alone with the man.

"Hey," Jensen greets them with a beaming smile, and Jared gives him an equally bright one. "Here for more brownies?"

"Sandy's here for the brownies, but I think I wanna try something else. Hm, how about..." His eyes sweep over the desserts lined up in the glass, pondering, before he looks up at Jensen with a light behind his eyes. "You. Are you on the menu? How much?" Jared smirks devilishly. Jensen's cheek tint a fierce shade of red and he glances over at Mackenzie, who's already pursed her lips.

"I'm just... you two go talk while there aren't any customers. I'll ring them up." Mackenzie ushers Jensen from behind the counter with a few shoves of her hands.

Jensen stalks off with Jared to a more reserved section of the bakery, where the lights are dimmer and to a booth where that backs raise higher up. Jared grabs his hand and laces their fingers together, sparks shooting up Jensen's arm, and then slides into the bench, knees banging beneath the table adorably. He stops abruptly just as Jensen is scooting in, not moving any further, causing them to be connected from their shoulders all the way to their ankles, one seamless press of bodies.

"How's work?" Jared says after a good stretch of quiet. Jensen finds it hard to focus on the question when Jared is continuously circling his pulse with his thumb.

"Err... good, I guess." Jensen shrugs. "Nothing special. Just like any other day."

"Except for me coming in, of course." Jared nods sagely, causing Jensen's smile to widen.

"Right. Very special and very not like any other day." There's another small beat of silence before Jared breaks it again.

"So... after work." Jared drops their combined hands to Jensen's leg, and it's like he's trying to squeeze Jensen's thigh all while still circling Jensen's pulse and holding Jensen's hand in his. He somehow manages it, fingers slipping in between Jensen's to grip at the denim-covered flesh, thumb not letting up on its movement in the process. "Do you want to grab something to wear before we go?"

Jensen hadn't considered that. He'd have stopped and grabbed something before he got to the bakery, but it completely slipped his mind.

"Or..." Jared tilts his head slowly. "I can bring you something of mine to wear."

And Jensen loves the sound of that. Getting to wear something of Jared's, completely surrounded by Jared's scent and tangling it with his own sweat and natural musk. Jensen's breath hitches and he can't nod fast enough.

"Guessing you like the idea of that?" Jared's voice is laced with amusement. Jensen's nod comes slower, a lot shyer this time. Jared doesn't seem to pay that much attention. He gingerly drags their hands up Jensen's thigh, leaving trails that light up each nerve in the path of Jared's fingertips. Their hands keep going, up until their lying right over Jensen's crotch. Jensen's, fucking, crotch. His _dick_, fuck, Jared has his hand on Jensen's _dick_.

It's embarrassing how hard Jensen gets so fast, bulge forging and rising beneath Jensen's palm. Jared only applies pressure to Jensen's hand, sending a shock of pleasure zipping up Jensen's spine and he has to clamp down on his bottom lip to refrain from moaning. Jensen shifts, draws in a jagged breath, and his lungs must have forgotten how to operate properly because it's dangerous, the amount of oxygen Jensen is losing in comparison to the amount he's receiving. "Jay, we can't–not now–"

Then Jared freezes completely. Jensen can no longer hear his breath in his ear, he's no longer trembling ever so slightly, the pressure on Jensen's hand lifts and his thumb comes to a halt, pulling away from where his body had been angled into Jensen's side. Jensen glances up at him and is afraid of that look on his face; Jared looks horrified. Jensen hasn't seen it so far, and all fears of it coming up one day has been easily shoved into the very pits of Jensen's mind, 'cause he won't allow his paranoia and overactive mind to ruin what they've built here, when it's clear Jared wants just as Jensen does. But they've all come rushing back to the surface, and not only are those fears a scary, twisted image in Jensen's head, but that mortifying look on Jared's face, the one that Jensen's only ever seen when he lets his thoughts run wild, has come to life.

And it's sitting right here, wide eyed and unblinking right in front of him.

"Um... right," Jared murmurs, shaking his hand out from Jensen's. "Sorry. Uh. You should get back to work. I think they're about done."

"Okay..." Jensen says, the corners of his lips tugging down. He turns, pulls himself across the bench and out of the booth, standing and straightening his clothes out–adjusting himself, mostly, but it's not like it'll matter before too long anyway because he's flagging as quick as he got it up–and watches as Jared stands as well. His eyes go anywhere but Jensen's and fear is beginning to crawl beneath Jensen's skin, unwanted and uncomfortable. "Are we... are we still on for tonight?"

Jared finally looks up again, only a brief moment of eye contact before he drops his eyes to the ground again. His voice is shaky and unsure when he speaks again. "Uh–sure, yeah... 8, right?"

Jensen didn't miss the hesitation there. "Yeah, 8."

"'Kay."

And then Jared's gone and Jensen's wildly confused about what just happened here.

***

Regardless of what happened, at close, Jared still arrives at the bakery with a bag slung over his shoulder and a smile on his face. He appears to be even more upbeat than he had been when he dropped by previously, which is saying something, because he looked particularly gleeful before. Now? Looks like he's radiating with joy.

He's already got a stack of clothes in his hands for Jensen, and Jensen takes them silently, mind working even harder to figure out what the hell is going on than it was earlier. He went over the incident in his mind over and over again for the last of his shift, and the only thing he could piece together was getting an erection. It didn't make much sense considering Jared was quite _literally_ palming his dick, but that's the only thing that comes to mind.

So whatever, whatever happened that freaked Jared out, it must be forgotten. Jared looks like he can hardly stand still.

"Here, I brought you some clothes. I don't know if they'll fit. They should. I usually wear a small in my sweats but I brought a medium because you have bigger legs than mine. Oh, wow, that came out wrong–trust me, you don't have big legs. You have really, _really_ nice thighs, actually, and you _definitely_ have a nice ass, so I just kind of assumed you would fit better into a medium. I don't want you to be uncomfortable while we play. I definitely feel like you'd fit, like... a _smedium_ though. Okay I'm just going to shut the fuck up now, alright? You go change."

Jensen grabs the offered clothes out of Jared's hand, fighting the strong urge to laugh, but he definitely can't keep the amused grin off his face. "Okay, Jared."

His cheeks are warm and his own mood has risen at Jared's comments. He still has that bit of worry cornered in the back of his mind, but again, he's gonna swallow it down because Jared seems fine now. Whatever happened, it's over now. He's not gonna fuck it up because he overthinks everything.

As he goes into the bathroom to change, he notices both Mackenzie and his mom watching him behind the counter. His steps falter under their tracking eyes. "...What?"

"Nothing," They both chime in simultaneously. Jensen's eyes narrow and his line of sight flickers between the both of them in suspicion. They already know about Jensen's plans to go play basketball with Jared, and they both somewhat know about who Jared is to Jensen already. They know that Jensen's had his eye on him for a while, even if they don't know how long Jensen's actually wanted him for because it'd be a monumental embarrassment to tell his family he's been pining for four years. But they know about Jared and the type of person and who he is to Jensen, so it makes him wonder what the two are up to. He's kind of an idiot for not piecing that together before he stepped into the bathroom.

He grabs the t-shirt and slips it on, a simple black Nike one that has a white swoosh in the corner, over his heart. It smells so damn good, and he can pick laundry detergent and the faint scent of cologne but also the natural scent of... Jared. Pure, like the way a person would smell not right after a shower, but after the fresh, lingering scent of soap has faded and all that remains is a base, the foundation that you layer new smells on top of. Yeah, that. And it smells wonderful.

Jensen's glad that Jared brought the medium sweats he did, because they're not really _sweats_, more track-pants. They fit perfect, a bit baggy just the way he likes 'em, and he knows that if they were a small they'd be pulling tight on his thighs and his ass, which he's sure Jared wouldn't have minded... but not very comfortable to play in.

It's as Jensen is pulling his shoes back on that he hears a quiet murmur of a voice, muffled by the bathroom door so he can't make out the words or who it is speaking. When he hears an additional voice speak up, he can tell that it belongs to Jared, but he can't connect the other voice to his mother or sister. Either way, _hell_ no.

He balls his clothes up in his hand and yanks the door open, successfully banging his elbow on the wall. Cursing loudly with a strangled grunts, he exits the bathroom, rubbing at his elbow. He steps into the view of three pairs of eyes; his mother's hard eyes on him, his sister's amused ones, and Jared's also hold a hint of humor behind the appreciation in them. He doesn't hide the way he scans Jensen's body, or the way his lips turn up into a delighted smirk at the corners.

His mom's voice is stern but there's no real bite to it when she says, "You watch your mouth, Jensen Ross."

"My bad." He gives an apologetic smile and comes up next to Jared, insisting on putting some distance between the two of them incase that was the issue earlier–but Jared squashes that, shifting to the right and killing the space between them to the point that their arms brush, skin on skin contact. Jensen can't help the shudder he gives and judging by the look his mother is giving him, he knows she's seen it. He just flushes and bites his lip. "You two aren't out here embarrassing me, are you?"

"Depends on what you'd consider embarrassing." Mackenzie gives a mischievous smile and Donna nudges her with her elbow.

"No, we were just talking about schools, right Jared?" When Jared nods, his mother continues, "You know where he's planning to go?" He opens his mouth to tell his mother no, but she doesn't stop. "USC. How about that, Jensen?"

Jensen's eyebrows shoot up and he glances down at Jared. When he asked Jensen about USC, he hadn't mentioned that he was thinking about going too. "Huh. I hadn't known."

"Either there or Stanford," Jared explains, "But I think I'm leaning more towards USC. I've always liked USC most anyway, but there's a couple other reasons I'm a bit more interested too."

Jensen fidgets a bit from the way Jared's looking at him, and even though he hadn't said it, he can read it in his eyes. _You're why I'm a bit more interested_.

"Jensen here's scared to leave home like a big baby," Mackenzie says, and Jensen shoots her a mean look. "I'd run like hell any chance I'd get."

"Mackenzie I will put you over my knee," Donna's voice has that bite to it that was lost when she spoke to Jensen, and that's why Jensen sticks his tongue out at her.

"And don't you start either, Jensen. I'll put you over my other one."

Jensen's cheeks warm at that, and he pushes off the counter quickly before anything else can be said. "Alright! We are going and you guys are staying, or well, going home I guess. I don't know, what do fourteen year olds and mothers do on Friday nights?"

"A lot more than you ever have," Mackenzie retorts with a snort.

Donna sends Mackenzie a warning look before turning back to Jensen. "Alright honey, you be good and remember what I told you."

"What did you..." Jensen juts his chin out.

"Oh you know, safety first. I don't need to be taking you to the hospital over no rectal tears or anythi-"

"Oh, my, _God._" Jensen drags a hand to his face, covering his eyes and blindly reaching out with his other hand to grab Jared's. "Come on, we're going."

He can hear that Jared is trying his best not to laugh, but he fails when he mumbles, "Bye Mrs. Ackles and Mackenzie," before he bursts out laughing, and Jensen only pulls his hand away from his eyes once he has his back to his mother and sister so he can get the door open. He drags Jared along and Jared stumbles after him, body wracking with the force of each laugh.

"Oh shut up." Jensen smacks his arm once they're outside, and it only makes Jared crack up harder. "'S not funny."

"It really is." Jared chortles. "It's okay, I don't plan on buttfucking you." He pauses, "Not tonight anyway."

Jensen sucks in a sharp breath, another shudder coursing through his body as Jared interlaces their fingers and tugs Jensen closer. "Don't worry either. If you ever let me... I'd be real careful with you. Gentle," Jared's thumb circles his pulse, and wow, he must have a thing with doing that. "Take my time with you, make you feel good. Would never hurt you."

Jensen feels a swirl of arousal in his gut, just enough to make his heart race and he wonders if Jared can feel the change through the thump in his wrist. _Play it cool, Jensen_, he thinks. _Just flirt back. Easy_.

"Who said I want gentle?"

_Way to sound like a cockslut, Jensen_.

Obviously Jared doesn't take it the way Jensen does, or well, maybe he does. The point is that it doesn't disturb him, because all he does is squeeze Jensen's hand tighter and curse under his breath, sending Jensen a heated gaze with a lick of his lips. Jensen draws in a deep breath to curve the highly inappropriate thoughts now flipping through his mind. "So? Where we playing? Driving or...?"

"Walking. I didn't drive up here because I live so close, and the court is so close to my house, so." Jared nods a single time, tugging Jensen's hand to get him walking. Jensen follows Jared's lead, trailing after him by a few inches. "There was no one there when I checked on the way over so it'll just be us two."

"Damn, now I won't be able to avoid you seeing just how much I suck." When Jared shoots him another heated gaze, Jensen hurries to fix what he just said. "_At basketball_! I suck _at_ _basketball_!"

Jared chuckles dryly, shoving a hand through his hair. "You're killing me, Jen."

***

Basketball goes great, to say the least.

If Jensen hadn't known any better, he'd say it was just a reason for Jared to get close, _really_ close to Jensen, but he does know better. Sort of... maybe. See, Jared is a nice guy and before Jensen got to know him, he would say that Jared wouldn't do that. And it's not like it's a bad thing, it just seemed like Jared was that kind of sweet guy who would cut his own hands off before he ever laid a hand on anyone in a way that was anything but appropriate before they were legally tied. But after this past week, you could say that his image on Jared has changed. Most definitely in a good way, just different. So now he's not so sure if Jared was planning on just playing basketball tonight or if he had planned the groping and the making out, but you could say Jensen's completely fine with either one.

It started when Jensen continued to miss his shots over and over and _over_. It should have been embarrassing, really, the way Jensen was so terrible at basketball in comparison to Jared. For a while it took no effort to see Jared was going easy on him; allowing Jensen to shoot at times when there'd be no trouble swiping the ball; cracking up every time Jensen took off running with the ball in his hands instead of calling him a cheater; not mentioning all the times Jensen's traveled. He let himself go, carefree and just having fun instead of worrying about how Jared thinks he looks or if Jared thinks he sucks, and he knows that's why Jared's doing it–it being not calling Jensen out for being such a sucky player. He appreciates it.

But then after Jensen missed his–well, Jensen doesn't know how many shots he's attempted but he's missed every last one of 'em, Jared finally gives in.

"Jesus Jen, here just–" Jared's head tilts back and he lets out a guffaw towards the sky, light from the moon on his skin and making him look just... heavenly. His skin soaks up the moonlight, and his eyes shine from beneath his bangs where he keeps flipping them out of the way. Licking his lips, he stalks over to Jensen, who stands at the free throw line with the ball in his hands, just watching.

"Let me help you." His voice is low and his accent jumps, and all Jensen can do is nod and let Jared guide him. Jared spins Jensen toward the hoop and suddenly Jared's hands are all over him; shifting Jensen's hips, angling his elbow a certain way, straightening out his legs then bending them at the correct degree, and his hands glide over his thighs and arms and along his waist in a way that can only be described as intimate.

Jensen's reduced to heavy pants and nods to whatever Jared's saying–crap about how if you stand this way it'll mess up that, if you position your hands that way it'll mess up this, a bunch of nonsense that's going straight in one of Jensen's ears and out the other, because Jared's hands are touching, touching, _touching_ all over Jensen's body and fuck if that's not distracting as all hell. It doesn't help that Jared shoves right up against him, sturdy chest aligned with Jensen's spine, and his pelvis is dipping right into the small of Jensen's back. And Jensen can feel him, _all_ of him, and Jared's definitely at least a bit aroused right now.

"Fuck, Jay..." Jensen breathes, and he feels Jared tense again. This time though, Jared relaxes after a few seconds. He leans down, hot puffs of breath right up against Jensen's ear and he can feel Jared's lips brushing up against his earlobe, sending chills up his spine.

"Shoot the ball."

Jared's head rises from where it'd dropped to get at Jensen's ear, but he's still smothered up against Jensen and his hands don't leave Jensen's waist. If anything, his grip tightens further.

If Jensen shoots this ball right now, he's going to be shoving his ass right up against Jared's cock, which he can feel hardening against him with each passing second. And Jared has to know this or else he wouldn't be holding on so tight, wouldn't be pushed up so close against Jensen, seamless connection of their bodies from Jensen's shoulders down to mid-thigh.

It gives Jensen a thrill, all of this happening right now. He's never been with anyone else before, no sex, no fooling around, not anything. If this is how it's like with Jared only feeling up on him _with_ clothes on, he can't imagine actual intercourse. Jensen's cock is already half-hard in his pants, has been ever since Jared uttered those first words about "helping him", because it was quite obvious, the intent behind his assistance.

So he shoots.

And he misses again.

But Jared groans long and hard above him, hips snapping forward and hands gripping Jensen's waist even tighter, dragging him back. Jensen's hands drop down to lie over Jared's with a gasp. Tracing over the lines and creases of Jared's fingers with his own, he smooths over the bed of Jared's nails, then back across the crinkly skin over his knuckles. Jared ruts against Jensen then, hard line of his dick lined right up to the crease of Jensen's ass and Jensen finds himself shoving right back, tilting his head to the right when Jared swoops down and pecks along the crook of Jensen's neck.

It's too much, _way_ too much. Jensen's leaking steadily in his pants and Jared's swiveling his hand right up against his side, down his hips and his thigh, then right back up again with a slight brush over the tent in his pants and it feels unlike anything Jensen's ever felt before. It's crazy, because Jared's bringing out this side of Jensen who throws away all his inhibitions and makes him feel like he's doped up on every drug out on the streets at the moment. Not like he hasn't imagined something like this a million times over before, but probably not in the middle of a basketball court.

"Shit Jensen, swear your fucking ass is just–fuck, come here, let me kiss you Jen, come on, please–"

Jensen spins around and slides his hands up Jared's chest and over the back of his neck, moaning when Jared doesn't let up on the movement of his hips, instead just drops his hand to the swell of Jensen's ass and squeezes tight, reeling him in closer and drawing another moan from the back of Jensen's throat. When Jared's hands come up to Jensen's cheeks, gentle just as he said he'd be, Jensen sucks in a deep breath and stiffens. "W-Wait, I've... I've never kissed anyone before. Well except for that one time in freshman year when I went to my first party and kissed Danneel. Wasn't that great. 'S how I knew I was gay."

Jared pauses now, grip still tight on Jensen's ass, but when he huffs out a quiet laugh it loosens slightly. A wave of embarrassment washes over him and Jensen's head droops a bit, but his forehead collides with Jared's so he can't hide much of his own humiliation.

Once Jared picks up on it, he sobers up quickly. "No Jen, it's fine. Don't get shy on me. I just... seriously? You're so... you. You're fucking–I just–hell I thought that you were experienced. You seem so confident."

"Confident?!" Jensen shrieks incredulously. "Do... I have to force myself not to let my own thoughts ruin this because I constantly feel like if I do or say the wrong thing, that I'm gonna drive you away and... I've wanted you for so long I–"

"–Shh, I know, Jen, I know," Jared hushes him, thumbs caressing the apple of Jensen's cheeks. He looks into Jensen's eyes, so intense Jensen feels weak in the knees with the force of it. "Trust me, I know. And I want you too, have wanted you for _years_. So bad, so, so damn bad. It's only been a week but I swear to you, it feels like I've known you for years."

Jensen's heart stutters in his chest and his gut flips repeatedly, so he swallows, a loud, clicky sound that he knows Jared can hear, knows he can take from that how nervous Jensen is at this moment. He's shocked–Jared wanted him back? All these years of watching Jared, wishing for nothing more than to have a chance with him and Jared wanted that too? "Why didn't you ever talk to me?"

"Like I said, you're different. You were always so quiet and on top of your shit... I didn't want to be rejected."

This is crazy.

Jared notices the tremble in Jensen's breath and shakes his head. "Jen, you don't have to be nervous. No amount of inexperience or no secret you could keep, or–or embarrassing, goofy thing you do or say could make me push you away. Not–not with the way I feel right now."

"And how do you feel right now?" Jensen counters.

Jared pauses again and his eyes slide closed, like he's flipping it over in his head, really taking the question to heart and considering it deeply. Jared _just _said he doesn't have to be nervous–but Jensen is anyway.

When Jared opens his eyes again, there's determination in them. A stone-set drive that means he's going to get what he desires no matter what it takes. "I feel like I want to kiss you."

Jensen only has a split-second to prepare–swipe his tongue along his lips, draw in a quick breath, and then Jared's lips have found his. The very moment their lips slot together, strong, tingling bursts light up from their conjoined mouths and slither down his body, forcing him to shudder for what feels like the umpteenth time tonight. Jensen's not really sure how to work his mouth, just kind of feels his way through it and allows Jared to guide him. Jared's hands drift down to his neck, feather-light brush of his thumbs over Jensen's jugular veins before they push back and across his shoulders, descending along his back.

Jared's tongue jabs at Jensen's lips, asking for access to what's inside, so Jensen parts them. Jared's tongue connects and sweeps over his, and Jensen can taste cinnamon and icing as Jared works on learning and mapping out the entire inside of Jensen's mouth. His hands shove under Jensen's shirt and skims along the skin underneath, smoothing up his sides and around to his flat belly, then they return to the dip in his back. Pressing his hips forward, he groans, and Jensen happily swallows down the noise.

"Can I..." The tips of his fingers prod the waistband of Jensen's pants, and it's a sign of how far gone Jensen is when he nods without a single clue of what Jared's asking for. Jared's fingers dip into his pants and past his briefs, squeezing Jensen's ass directly and driving a moan from Jensen's mouth. Jared pulls him in again, aligns the hard lines of their cocks and grinds forward.

"Fuck," Jensen curses, head slipping back and mouth dropping on a gasp. Jared bends down and nips at his jawline, kneading at the meat of his ass and rutting up against him wildly. Jensen feels so damn good, like Jared's picking him apart with just his bare hands, and it feels like he's about to burst out of his skin from the pleasure.

"Come on, come up," Jared's hand comes out of Jensen's pants and pull his leg around his body, and Jensen has a split second to think _what the fuck_ before he's jumping up and Jared is holding him. When Jared bounces Jensen once and the friction and pressure is _just_ right, he realizes why.

Jensen's back arches as he works his hips against Jared's, forced to do a majority of the work now that Jared's supporting his weight, but Jensen doesn't mind. Each swivel of his hips sends pleasure ricocheting through his body and he holds onto Jared's back for support, shoving his face into Jared's neck.

"C'mon Jen, I know you're close," Jared huffs in his ear, hot and moist as his tongue nibbles at his earlobe. Jensen whines and humps harder, faster; he is really close, so fucking close and it feels so fucking good but he just can't come for some damn it reason–

"Damnit Jay," Jensen cries when Jared's dry finger brushes against his hole, pressing hard against the puckered skin, rubbing and–yep, there it is.

Jensen tenses up and his hips buck up against Jared's, fingers curling into the muscle of Jared's back and face burrowing further in the crook of Jared's neck. He shoots in his pants, coating and smearing on the inside of his briefs, each pulse driving another moan from his mouth. He can tell when Jared comes because his knees buckle and he groans throatily, yet somehow the man manages to stay on his feet and hold onto Jensen.

After a few minutes of heavy panting in one another's ear, Jensen pulls his face from Jared's neck and inhales deeply. "Was that planned?"

"Not _that_, but I'm not saying that the touching wasn't."

Jensen slides down from Jared's waist with a laugh.

***

**Please let me come grab you. My mother is literally dragging my aunt over to meet you.**

Jensen sends the message, rolling his eyes and checking the mirror to ensure his outfit looks fine. He had to call Danneel over once she got off to help him, and after deciding on a pair of khaki jeans ("They make your ass pop, babe.") and a plain white t-shirt ("There are times when simplicity makes a statement, and you are _definitely_ making a statement."), he got in the shower and got dressed. Once he spritzed on some cologne and presented himself to Danneel, she screeched about how great he looked and how he was totally getting laid tonight. Jensen wasn't so sure.

Jensen's not going to rush anything, even if they just did... _that_ last night, he's not expecting sex anytime soon. Jared's amazing, incredibly sexy, and Jensen trusts him, but he just doesn't think he's gonna go having sex with him yet. Jensen hasn't had sex, not just because he's a bit choosy and rejects a lot of people that come onto him (a majority of them are douchebags who just want to get Jensen's lips on their dicks), but because he just doesn't feel ready to cross that line yet. If the time comes and they're both ready for it, then cool, they're both of legal age to consent. But Jensen just doesn't think it's going to happen tonight.

A large part of why Jensen isn't ready is because though he doesn't judge it, he doesn't believe in the whole casual sex thing. Sex to Jensen is a sacred and intimate act between two people who love each other, and no, he's not saying that he's going to wait until someone puts a ring on him before he gives it up, but he wants there to be a strong emotional connection between him and the person he sleeps with, no matter if they're the first, or second, or third, or last person. Wouldn't matter if he's had sex a million times, he just doesn't believe he'd feel right giving his body to someone he's not emotionally invested with. What him and Jared have now is great, but it's just not to that point yet. Something tells Jensen that Jared has similar thoughts on it, but even if he didn't, he's sure that Jared wouldn't pressure him to participate in something he's uncomfortable doing.

When Jensen's phone buzzes, he glances down to see that it's Jared.

**Too late, I'm outside. I don't mind meeting your aunt lol**

_That's not the point_, Jensen thinks with a sigh as the sound of the doorbell rings through the house. His mom thought this was so important, she left work and left his dad in charge of the restaurant for an hour or so. That's like leaving an eight year old to operate a train.

"So you're gonna be fine here?" Jensen asks.

"Yes, I'm gonna be fine." Danneel rolls her eyes and stands, straightening out Jensen's shirt, then gives him a light smack on the ass. "Now go on."

"I know, I know, I really need to because Aunt Kelly's here."

Just then, he hears Aunt Kelly _ooh_ and _awe_, which Jensen can guess is because of Jared. He loves his aunt, but both her and his mom can get very... enthusiastic about this type of thing. Like, his mom made a cake for him after he came out. It was a gorgeous cake and tasted amazing of course, but still. A cake?

"Sounds like your man is talking with her," Danneel says with a lilt to her voice and a faint smirk.

"He's not my man."

"Yet," She tacks on, and Jensen can't help but respond with the same smirk.

"Yet." Jensen grabs his phone and charger, then turns and looks at Danneel. "Are you sure you'll be fine to finish getting ready here?"

"Of course I will. How long have I known this family?" Danneel waves him off. "Go on, I'll be fine! If not, I only live down the street."

Danneel, the lovely friend that she is, was just out of the shower when Jensen called begging for her help. She has extra time to get ready, because unlike Jensen she wasn't going out to eat before the party, so she had no problem coming to help and insisted on finishing up getting ready at Jensen's. Was excited that he called her, actually. _God knows what you would've walked out in if I hadn't come over_, she said earlier.

"Okay, okay! Love you!" He blows her a kiss as he heads out of his room.

"Love you too!"

His eyes land on Jared as he descends the staircase, and fuck does Jared look good. Denim jeans, white button down that has a few buttons undone, revealing a patch of tan skin–Jesus, _yes_. Danneel was right, simplicity _does_ make a statement.

Jared's already watching him come down the stairs, ghost of a smile on his lips. Jensen grins as Jared says, "Hey."

"Hey," Jensen returns the greeting, siding up to him. Jensen notes how Jared angles his body toward Jensen's and leans in closer.

"Jensen you've caught yourself a good one here, I like him." His aunt's smile is wide. Jensen's cheeks heat and he scratches the back of his neck, stealing a glance at Jared. But Jared's just got this sheepish look on his face and he looks _adorable_.

"Thank you, Mrs–"

"Ah!" His aunt brings her hand up. "I said Aunt Kelly."

"Oh lord," Jensen murmurs.

"Thank you, uh, Aunt Kelly."

"Let me get a picture," His mom comes around the corner with her _fucking camera_.

"No! No, we have to have time to eat and get to the party so we're gonna go," Jensen gives Jared short pushes toward the door.

"It's fine, you can get them at prom Mrs. Ackles," Jared calls just as Jensen rips the door open and shoves him through it.

"I said _mom_! But–okay honey! Have a good night and stay safe you two!"

"We will!" Jensen pulls the door shut behind him and slaps Jared's arm just as he starts to cackle. "How dare you plot against me like that? Bastard."

"I love your family." Jared shrugs his shoulder. "Your aunt is really nice."

"I bet you think so," Jensen says with a sarcastic snort. Jared just grins at him. As Jensen climbs into Jared's truck, he asks, "So? Where we going?"

"I was thinking... I could really go for a McChicken right about now." Jensen deadpans and Jared throws his head back, laughing. "You'll see when we get there."

***

"This isn't going to be too pricey, is it? I gave you half of my nuggets, not a t-bone."

Jared shoots him a frown from over his menu, "What? Get whatever you want and don't worry about the price. If you want three steaks, then order three steaks."

Jensen opens his mouth to argue with what he just said, but at the warning scowl that Jared sends him, he shuts his mouth. "Geez, okay. I was just–"

"Ah, ah! No. _You_ were just looking for your dinner." Jared says, then smiles politely. Jensen lets a surprised chuckle escape his lips and he kicks Jared's foot under the table.

"Shut up. I didn't want to sound greedy."

"For ordering the food you want after _I_ invited you out to dinner? Please, sound greedy. Money well spent."

Jensen bites back his grin and stares down at the menu to continue the search for his meal. After a few minutes of browsing, he says, "So who told you that steak was my favorite food? Because you're good, but you aren't _that_ good."

"Oh really? I'm not?" Jared's right eyebrow shoots up, and Jensen challenges him by raising his own brow. "Okay, so I may have asked Ms. Alba."

"I knew it."

"Well who better to ask than the woman who goes and gets your lunch almost everyday?" Jared gives a pleased smile, like he's proud of himself for being so clever. He is _dangerously _adorable.

"It's not like she goes and gets me a steak dinner for lunch."

"Well when you get Chipotle, you always get steak. And she said that you always say, 'I could use a steak'."

"Whatever." Jensen laughs when Jared's amused chuckle slips out, despite his attempts to stifle it. "I could always use a steak, damnit!"

"You look cute," Jared says all of a sudden, voice earnest. Jensen feels his cheeks heat at the praise.

"Not so bad yourself." Jensen shoots him a competitive smirk.

And that's how they get started on shooting compliments at each other, trying to top the other's, which eventually turns into cheesy jokes and pick-up lines. They keep it going, even after they're well into their meals and stealing bites as the other one takes their go.

Jared's fucking spectacular at this, and even after Jensen's ran out of things to say–takes him longer than he would've ever thought–Jared's still spitting them off the top of his head.

"Wait–okay." Jared smiles and rubs his hands together, like Jensen had better get ready for this one because it's gonna be good. "Is your name Google? Because you have everything I've been searching for."

"A-ha!" Jensen points a finger at him. "You've already said that."

"Did I?" When Jensen nods, he goes, "Well, I typed in the man of my dreams and Google responded; Did you mean _Jensen Ackles_?" He lays his hands out with that same pleased smile from earlier.

Eyes bulging in shock, he throws his head back, laughing loudly because–that was _really_ fucking good.

"Okay, alright, _you_ win."

***

When they leave the restaurant it's just after nine. Jared drives them to Tom's house, hand gripping Jensen's and fingers interlaced as his thumb circles Jensen's pulse as usual. Jensen's not... nervous, he's just a bit antsy. He hasn't been to a party in, has it been two years? No, it was only a year ago. It was his first time getting drunk. It was all fun and games until Jensen was hurling his organs through his lips. Thank God for Chris, though, because he let Jensen stay over at his house for the night since his parents weren't there. Yeah, his mom was much more lenient about things like that than other parents, but that's more because of his _current _age than it was three years ago. Drinking so much at only fifteen? He could go without his mother's scolding–he wasn't getting drunk like that again. It felt like somebody rattled his entire body.

Jared must have felt the change in his pulse, or could maybe read how Jensen's demeanor has shifted a bit, so when they arrive to Tom's house (and Jared has to park a long ways back), he kills the engine and turns to meet Jensen's gaze. "Hey." He brings his free hand to Jensen's face, caressing his cheek before drawing Jensen in for a gentle kiss. When he pulls away, his eyes are lit up but his face is solemn. "We don't have to go if you don't want to. I don't know if you were just coming for me, but... we could just go back to my house, or your house, or go see a movie, or... it doesn't matter, really. Whatever you want to do, whatever you're comfortable doing. I just wanna spend time with you."

Jensen feels a rush of affection at Jared's mindfulness and concern of him and his comfort. "I do want to go to the party," Jensen reassures him first, because he does. It's his last year of highschool and he wants to live it, come out of his shell a bit like his mom was saying. "I just haven't been to one in a while, and..." Jensen doesn't want to sound too clingy, so he doesn't voice what else he's worried about. Jared seems to pick up on it anyway, the mind reader.

"I'm not gonna let you out of my sight," Jared leans forward and pecks Jensen's lips, "I'm here _with_ you and _for_ you," He gives Jensen's lips two final kisses before poking the tip of his nose. "Alright? So if you want to go, then let's go."

With a nod, he releases Jared's hand and climbs out of the truck.

Here we go.

***

It's almost midnight. Jared's stuck to his word and hasn't left Jensen's side once, not even for the bathroom ("Jared, where are we going?" Jensen had said, to which Jared replied with, "Gotta pee." Yes, he stood _outside_ of the bathroom door), and they've been having a great time. There's food and drinks, and even though they'd just ate before they arrived, when Jensen looked up, Jared had a slice of pizza in one hand and a cup in the other. Jensen compared him to a garbage disposal and Jared just laughed, offered him a drink. Jensen contemplated turning it down, but he _did_ want one, so he took it. It was a mix of fruit juices–Jensen tasted orange, mango, pineapple, and a hint of cherry, then the burn of something his beginner tongue can't place, but it's _good_. He's had a couple more, just enough to make him tipsy, loose-limbed and less inhibited, but he's done well enough considering he's a lightweight.

Though he wasn't drunk enough to do anything he'll regret anyway, he decided that playing Seven Minutes in Heaven and going in the closet with Jared (even though the bottle landed on Danneel; she said, "Like hell. Jensen, get your ass in there.") wouldn't be a regret even if he was fully sober. He _would_ regret fucking Jared in said closet, because like he mentioned before, he's not ready. Even if he was ready to have sex with Jared, a rushed seven minutes in Tom's closet when there was people on the other side of the door would be a regret.

They had a pretty heated make-out session, though. Jared tasted a bit like pizza, but it didn't bother Jensen as much when the sweet, fruity tang of the punch they'd been drinking for the past... hour, Jensen thinks, smothers and masks the other flavors so well.

By the time they stumble out of the closet (and not because of the alcohol), there's fresh hickies blooming along the line of each of their jaws, trailing down their necks and down to their collarbones, and, _yup_, this is new to Jensen, this attention. It's not the worst feeling, and it'd probably be more humiliating without Jared sporting his own marks, but all Jared did was smirk and return to his seat, pulling Jensen down in his resigned spot next to Jared's.

After their game wraps up, a few people leave, but most of them stay and just chill for a while, lounging around on the couch or on the ground. They've just been chatting for maybe half an hour now, talking about complete random shit, and Jensen finds that he enjoys the topics most with the people who have low, red eyes. Those conversations are especially entertaining.

Surprisingly, it's not as bad as he assumed, and these people aren't as bad as he thought they'd be. Especially these dudes named Misha and Steve–really cool guys, and the Misha kid's kind of weird in his own mysterious way (his name is Misha for crying out loud), but still cool.

"You're friends with Chris, right?" Steve asks all of a sudden.

"Yeah." Jensen gives a nod. Jensen's sitting on the couch with Jared on the ground in front of him, head falling back and into his lap as Jensen runs his fingers through the strands lying there. Jared's hair is silky and soft–Jensen _loves_ it. "I may know the little dick."

"You know me and him play together?"

"You're _that_ Steve? I thought you were older." Jensen exclaims, and his eyebrows shoot up when it hits him. _Duh_. The guy's been bringing up music and performing ever since they started talking.

"Mhm." Steve grins before he glances around the room. "I don't know where he is. Haven't really seen him much tonight."

"I seen him once, in the kitchen?" Jensen shrugs lazily. "But he could be anywhere now. That was when we first got here."

"We were thinking about playing something." Jensen's eyebrow quirks when Steve eyes him slyly. "Chris told me you could sing..."

"You can sing?" Jared's head jerks out of Jensen's lap and he twists around to peer at him with a broad, questioning smile.

"Oh yeah, he can sing," Danneel chimes in from out of nowhere. Remind Jensen to kill her later.

"Seriously?" Sandy asks, smiling.

"Like an angel," Danneel says.

"You gotta sing for us then."

"You got to, Jen!" Jared taps his thigh, excited. Jensen's eyes dart between Steve, Jared, Danneel, and Sandy, who are all collectively nodding at him.

It's true that he enjoys singing with a passion. But not in front of other people, and _surely_ not like how Steve and Chris have done a couple times. Chris plays in front of crowds and Jensen can't sing for a _crowd_. Face burning bright, he shakes his head rapidly. "No, _hell_ no."

At once, the four of them chime in and begin to plead for Jensen to bless them with his voice, give them just a taste of what he sounds like. Jensen's bewildered at how eager they are to hear him, and he can feel it on his face as he looks at all of them, _begging _for him to sing. Jared's shooting him puppy dog eyes and pawing at his thigh (Jensen knew he had no chance of turning them down then), and even Misha's sat up from where he's been lying across the table. "Jensen please, do it for my ears, _our_ beloved ears."

"Okay, how about you just sing a little for us and we'll tell you if you have a chance of surviving on the stage. Or–in Tom's living room."

Steve gives him a little nod at Sandy's words, and Jensen's starting to get tense now; nervous. Licking his lips, he scratches at Jared's scalp in an attempt to calm down, relax his nerves. Jared taps his knee and squeezes.

"We wouldn't judge you. You don't have to be afraid," Jared's voice is gentle, like he's trying to coax Jensen out of his shell. "But you don't have to. Remember? What you're comfortable with."

Singing may not have been exactly why Jensen came here tonight, but this whole experience is to help Jensen out of his shell. And, Jensen is putting this in the least arrogant way possible, he knows that he's a good singer. It's not that he's unsure of himself or, worried that he's going to sound like a dying cat, it's just a natural reaction for him to be afraid of this sort of thing and to fear judgement. Because while he thinks he has a decent set of vocal cords, he could grab a mic, start singing, and proceed to be screeched at until he runs off the stage–metaphorically speaking of course, because there is no real stage. But the reasoning still remains.

But what's the harm in letting a few people hear him sing to get an example of how a crowd _would_ react? Even if he doesn't know Misha and Steve all that well, he doubts they would judge him, and he knows that Jared and Sandy wouldn't. Plus, after Danneel's words and knowing that Chris thinks he can sing, with a buzz from the punch... He can _totally_ fucking do this.

"Well what am I supposed to sing?" Jensen gives in. Sandy and Danneel clap and cheer, Steve gives a wide grin, and Jared's expression softens into a proud one. Jensen's glad that he's the one who could put it there.

"Well, Chris told me not to tell another soul, but he likes to hear you sing that song Angeles. He–" Steve bites back a snicker, "Said you sound like a beautiful little angel."

"I told you!" Danneel cheers, and Jensen can't help but laugh.

"Yeah, but I can't sing that without a guitar," Jensen says. "It's just not the same."

"You have a guitar?" Jared asks in disbelief, like he can't believe Jensen never told him. Jensen gives an apologetic smile and ruffles his hair.

"Never came up."

"My stuff is in my truck since there was a maybe on if we were playing tonight." Steve jabs his thumb towards the stairs. "Want me to go get it?"

"Why don't we just all go outside anyway? That way Jensen can sing out there where it's quiet so we can actually _hear him_." Misha rolls his eyes and glances up at the ceiling, where there's people singing and dancing and moving about upstairs. "And then we can just bring your crap inside in one go."

"That's if I'm good enough to sing," Jensen adds.

"You are," Danneel and Jared bark at him. Jensen jumps and his eyes bulge.

"_Sheesh_, okay. Got it."

***

On their way outside, they somehow managed to pick up three more people–Chad, Tom, and Mike–and bump into Chris. When he finds out what's going on, he promises to come outside and listen then help bring the stuff inside. Jensen teases him about wanting to hear the beautiful little angel sing, and Chris scowls before pinching his arm hard enough to leave a bruise. It was worth it.

Steve hard to park a little ways down the street, but definitely not as far as Jared had to, so it's just far enough that the people on the porch won't be able to overthrow Jensen's singing or be able to hear them, but also close enough that they don't have to walk for long before Steve is unlocking the tailgate of his pickup. He immediately reaches for a guitar case and hands it to Jensen. "I trust you know what you're doing with that."

"Because I'm not about to play an entire song on it." Jensen's tone is smart, and Steve shoots him a glare before his face breaks into a grin.

Jensen pulls the guitar and it's pick out, and he's played long enough that he can tune it by memory, plucking each string and adjusting the pegs by a smidge before he tells them that he's all ready to go. Steve gestures for him to sit at the tailgate so he does, and just as he's getting ready to start, Chris comes jogging up.

"Did I miss it?!" He exclaims, panting hard.

"No you asshat, he's about to start now so shut the hell up," Danneel snaps.

"Well damn, who pissed in your punch," Chris grumbles, crossing his arms, but giving Jensen his attention and staying quiet.

Jensen snickers as he aligns his fingers in their correct places, then goes, "Ready?"

"Yes!" Jared practically screeches, then mumbles an apology as he blushes, hand coming to cover his lips.

And Jensen takes a deep breath; _you got this, Ackles. These are your friends, and a couple of new ones, and the guy you're falling for really__, really__ fast–you'll be fine. These people care about you and wouldn't judge you_.

With those affirmations, he strums out the first few notes, and instantly fucks up. Jerking his head up, his mouth starts going before he can stop it. "Sorry, sorry–"

"Jensen! I've heard you play this song a million times and you're fucking great at it. People slip up sometimes, you're _human_. Just breathe," Chris says exasperatedly.

Retry.

This time, after he licks his lips and takes a nice, _long_, drawn out breath–he gets the first notes right. Then the next. And the notes after that. And when he starts singing, his voice may come out a bit wobbly and taut, but after the first verse it begins to feel like it's just a normal day practicing in his room or singing for Chris and Danneel. This was one of the first songs he's learned to play and the first song he's ever sang for anyone else, so once he calms his nerves, it's like his fingers move on autopilot and the words just flow freely.

By the second verse, he's comfortable enough to open his eyes and see astonished faces. Jared's watching him with open pride and adoration and, Jensen almost slips up when he meets Jared's eyes, but manages to catch himself.

When finished, a small chorus of cheers and claps come from the little group he has gathered in front of him (Jensen didn't even realize when singing, but a couple of extra people from the porch walked over when they noticed what was going on), and Jared grins brightly before cuffing Jensen's cheeks in his hands and _bam_, smashing their lips together. With so much passion that, if it wasn't for the guitar strap, he'd have dropped the damn thing straight on the ground.

Catcalls and whistling join the cheers, Chris front in center ("_Fuck_ yeah! About damn time!") and Jensen's cheeks warm–but now this feels good. Feels _great_, the attention. He's never been a slut for it, and he still wouldn't give two shits if everyone turned and walked away to enjoy the rest of their night, but it's definitely not terrible, now that he's warmed up to it. But then again, if he really mulls it over, it's not exactly attention.

He's meeting new people, expanding his friend group, opening up his shell. And it feels amazing. He should've listened to Jess earlier this year when she said that he should go out more. Sucks that he's just now getting to experience this; the ultimate highschool experience, with parties and drinking and Seven Minutes in Heaven and a great guy that he's spent years pining after, who, _shocker–_and when he says shocker, he's not being sarcastic like most people are when they say it–actually wanted him back.

He's just lucky that he got to do this before graduation comes–and it's coming fast, so fast that Jensen's already feeling nostalgic, and in just a couple of months he'll be done with highschool. He'll be going onto college. His life just breezed by his damn eyes.

When Jared pulls away, he's got this dreamy, faraway look in his eyes. He looks captivating.

"How did you get to be so perfect?" Jared says softly.

Jensen's heart lurches in his chest and an immense wave of emotion floods his body. "I don't know about perfect," Jensen stammers bashfully, scratching his neck.

"Perfect." Jared reiterates, and he grips Jensen's waist and pulls him down from the tailgate. "Your voice is beautiful. You gonna sing? You got to. Hey, hey–Chris! Steve!"

Watching as Jared turns and waves wildly at the two who appears to be arguing over who's going to carry what inside, he feels content and mellow and happy, affection settled deep in his bones. Jared's talking animatedly now, even bouncing on his heels and gesturing back to Jensen with a smile radiant enough to blind people.

Never in a million years would Jensen have imagined that they would come to this point. Jared and him, being _together_? Well–they aren't together yet, but Jensen's enjoying this either way. He has a feeling that this could lead to a relationship, that they could have something that lasts... for a decent period of time. Maybe it's just Jensen's heart thinking for him.

And maybe it's just Jensen's heart that he could definitely consider flying miles away from home if it meant going to school with Jared at USC.

He can't dance around the truth and say that he would choose to go to USC regardless of talking to Jared this past week, because he's not sure that he'd have the courage. But USC has always been a college he's wished to attend. His main concerns were being all alone out there in unfamiliar territory, but if Jared went with him... he _wouldn't_ be alone.

And while he doesn't want to dwell on it too much, even if things go sideways with Jared, he'd turn out okay. If tonight's shown him anything, it's that he _can_ get out and socialize if he puts in the effort. USC has always been his choice of college so it's not like he'd be giving anything up by choosing to go. And it's not like he wouldn't make _any _friends. He'd be fine. Plus... the thought of Jared going off to USC and leaving him behind makes Jensen upset. Would Jared consider a long distance relationship?

_Sheesh Jensen, it's only been a week and you're already trying to plan your future around the guy_. _Don't be desperate and naive_.

Sure, Jared's a great guy, but he can't let his decisions be twisted and morphed after a week of talking to him. _Talking_. They aren't even together.

_This has got to be the longest week of my life, because it feels like we've been talking for _months _and it's messing with my brain._

"Jensen," Jared's voice jerks Jensen out of his thoughts, and when he blinks out of the daze he was in, Jared's jogging over. He takes a hold of Jensen's hand and squeezes. "Come on. You gonna sing?"

"Well what was the verdict? Am I worthy of a performance?" Jensen teases, quirking an eyebrow at Jared.

The corner of Jensen's lips twitch at the way Jared's eyes bulge. "Um, _hell_ yeah. Chris and Danneel were right. Got the voice of a fucking angel."

"You make me blush," Jensen waves his hand like he's flattered, eyelashes fluttering as he blinks rapidly.

"I know, it's adorable," Jared pinches his cheeks and, now he's _actually_ blushing. Jared's _really _cheesy. Those romance novels don't got shit on him.

***

The rest of the night went off without a hitch. Jensen sung, and it was only for a mildly sized crowd because some people had begun to leave, and some people were downstairs in the basement where the original group had been playing Seven Minutes in Heaven.

Jared, the fucking gigantor he is, literally stood in the middle of the crowd and hooted at Jensen, catcalling and whistling and telling him how great he looked and sounded in between songs, turning and making people cheer for, ahem, the _real life angel_.

It was really nice, fun. He sang his little ole' heart out and smiled and laughed and enjoyed himself, and even though he only sang two songs then let Chris and Steve do their thing, the extremely positive reaction gave an immense boost to Jensen's mood–even if it was already through the roof.

By the end of the night, it's late–almost two in the morning. Jensen's tired, Jared just finished another slice of pizza, there's hardly anyone left in the house and Chris is crashed on the couch while Misha's crashed on the table. What the guy has with lying on tables, Jensen doesn't know.

"You sleepy, angel?"

Jared's been calling him angel nonstop and Jensen's embarrassed by how much he loves it. "Mm..." Jensen cards a hand through his hair. "Maybe just a little."

"You're worn out," Jared says with a cheeky grin. He grabs Jensen's hand and tugs. "C'mon, I'll get you home."

"Kinda sucks," Jensen's words have been reduced to half mumbles; Jared's right, he is worn out. Definitely has something to do with the alcohol in his system. "Don't wanna..."

Jensen's feeling a bit (a lot) sleepy and also a bit (a lot) clingy, so he just lets his sentence trail off into silence with a pout. Of course, Jared who has proven several times to be a goddamn mind reader, picks up on the unspoken words and just pulls him through the hall.

"You can see me tomorrow, and if not tomorrow, then definitely Monday. C'mon, you look like a toddler."

Jensen smacks his arm and Jared snickers.

***

Once Jensen buckles in and lays back against the seat, he's out like a light, but Jared doesn't bother him until they're outside of Jensen's house. "Jensen..." Jared's voice coaxes him to consciousness, shaking his shoulder gently. "You're home."

Jensen's eyes flutter open and his jaw cracks on a yawn, twisting in his seat to look at the big, puppy looking dude hovering over his reclined seat. He honest to God does _not_ feel like moving right now, and he feels like getting out this car and leaving Jared even less. He drags his hand over his face with a sigh and slumps back against the seat.

"D'you need me to carry you?"

Jensen shakes his head no.

"I can carry you if you want me to, Jen."

"Promise 'm fine," Jensen murmurs and forces his body to sit up before Jared can start making his way to Jensen's side of the car.

"Tonight was the most fun I've had in awhile," Jared says and then, together they say, "Tonight was the most fun I've had _ever_."

Jensen slaps his wrist lethargically, pointing a finger at him. "Don't speak at the same time as me."

"Then stop speaking," Jared retorts, and before Jensen knows it, their lips are smashed together, light and soft and there's no tongue, like Jared knows that Jensen doesn't have the energy. He probably does.

When Jared pulls away, he has that dopey look on his face that he had earlier. Then, after approximately three minutes of staring at each other, "Be mine already."

"Be-what?" Because, if Jensen's being honest, he was slipping into a doze himself and he was just jerked from it with a request that he's been waiting years to hear and, sorry if he needs a moment for his brain cells to synapse and register what's going on.

"...I know, sorry. It's only been a week and just yesterday I freaking humped you and then today I'm asking you to be my boyfriend and I probably should've done those in the opposite order and it's only been a week but it's just been so great that–"

"Jared, _Jared_," Jensen places a finger over Jared's lips and chuckles at the way they smash against his teeth, the way his face is scrunched up. "You overthink as much as I do." Jared's face falls flat, and Jensen grins a little. "I know it's only been a week. You know how many times I had to tell myself that today?"

"So you don't think we're moving too fast?" Jared whispers, and it comes out all garbled up because Jensen hasn't pulled his finger away. He's gonna do that now.

"I think we're definitely moving fast." Jensen shrugs. "But as long as we're moving at the same pace, it doesn't matter. I've already been thinking so far ahead and I just didn't want to push you away by showing you my ideas for our future honeymoon."

Jared laughs, one that's outrageously light and... Jensen should find a word to replace adorable, but he seriously can't help it. Jared's just an adorable being, and the sound of Jared's laugh is like one of a toddler's. It just lights Jensen up inside and he can't help but smile everytime he hears it.

Jared's lip curls as he watches Jensen, look on his face telling Jensen that he's deep in thought. Finally he says, "Hawaii."

"Huh?"

"Our honeymoon. Hawaii."

Jensen grins and smothers his face with his hand, pushing his head back. "Shut up."

Jared's dimples dig grooves into his cheeks when he leans forward again, captures Jensen's lips. Jensen's enjoying these kisses, how Jared doesn't even hesitate and takes them whenever he wants. "So, boyfriend...?"

"Yes." Jensen's cheeks turn ruddy at the way Jared's face radiates with exhilaration. "Now _boyfriend_ is going inside because he's gonna be up all night if he doesn't lay down soon."

"Okay."

Jensen opens the door and climbs out of the car. Peeking back through the open window because he can't help it, he smiles and says, "Goodnight, Jay."

Jared's face upturns. "Goodnight, angel."

Jensen heads up the driveway and to his front porch, unlocking the door to get inside then turning to wave one last time. Jared waves back, and Jensen heads inside the house. He doesn't hear the sound of the truck pulling off until the door is shut and locked behind him.

***

Jensen, sadly, didn't see Jared again the next day. But they texted and talked on the phone all Sunday, and Jared dropped something in their messages that Jensen was glad he decided to talk about over the phone. Because otherwise, Jensen might have thrown his secret identity in Jared's face just by the panic of the topic being dropped.

**So I was thinking that maybe I could meet J but still take you to prom? Would you be okay with that?**

_No! Fuck no! Abort mission! Retreat!_

But that's unfair. If J was someone else, he would be okay with it because he's confident in the way Jared feels about him, so saying no would have nothing to do with Jared or J and everything to do with himself. Jared's even still taking Jensen to prom. How asshole-ish of Jensen would it be to sit here and fix his fingers to tell Jared no, he can't meet J? And if Jensen wasn't okay with it, Jared would shut that shit down so fast and really that's just not fair.

Maybe it should bother Jensen that Jared suddenly wants to meet the person that's known for having a crush on him, but it truly doesn't. That may have something to do with knowing deep down that J is him, and the ridiculous amount of trust he has for Jared, plus, can Jensen blame Jared for being curious? Jensen's been curious himself about how it would go for meeting Jared as J, how he would react. It's a bit different because Jensen's on the revealing side, but the point still remains.

So...

**Yeah I'd be okay with that. Promise not to ditch me for your secret lover though? ;)**

It's Monday morning and Jensen had to take a trip to the library, because _this_? Definitely a good reason to take advantage of his friendship with Jessica and get out of class to talk with her.

"Jess, what do I do? Prom is in just a few weeks and Jared wants to meet him."

Jessica, who's been cataloging a large stack of books, pauses, then spins on her chair with a sigh. "You've got two options. One, you could come clean. Two, you... _J_... could just never show up."

"That'd be really fucked up. He'd basically be getting stood up," Jensen says, corner of his lips tugging down. He doesn't like the sound of that happening to Jared whether it's him or not.

"It's not like he'd think it was your fault."

"But I'd still feel guilty about it."

"Well then I guess you gotta tell him." Jessica gives him an apologetic shrug at Jensen's grimace. "It won't be that bad, Jense. Just think about it–would he even be upset over it?"

Jensen pauses to think about that. _Would_ he be upset?

Jensen wouldn't be able to fault Jared if he was upset over it, would he? Jensen sat back and let Jared work himself up over not wanting J who, by the way, is Jensen, and even after Jared got twisted up in deciding what would be best to do for prom, Jensen let him _keep_ worrying about it just to save his own ass. If he would have just told the truth, Jared wouldn't have had anything to be concerned about because he'd know J and Jensen are one in the same.

But Jared said _no secret that he could keep_...

But does that _really _apply to _this_?

This is fucked up all around. Jensen can't keep harboring this secret around because he's gonna feel like a selfish dick with any choice he makes. If he tells him, he's gonna feel guilty for lying about it to begin with. If he doesn't, he's gonna feel guilty for continuing to keep it a secret. At least if he tells Jared, he'll have a clean conscience.

"I'm gonna tell him. I just gotta figure out when..."

"Do it all cute like! You should tell him at prom. That would be so romantic," Jessica squeals, clapping her hands.

It would be, but, "What if he leaves me at the prom?"

"I don't think Jared would do that."

"But you don't know Jess."

"Look Jense," Jessica sets her book down and turns fully towards Jensen, crossing her legs and lying her conjoined hands on her knee. Jensen makes the odd connection that she looks like a therapist... and it suits her. "It'll all work out. Do what you think is best, okay? Either way I think you'll be fine."

Jensen hopes that she's right.

***

Jensen doesn't get the email from Jared until a little over two weeks pass. For a minute, Jensen was hoping–wishing–that Jared had decided against the meet-J-at-prom plan, especially since he brought it up last that Sunday afternoon after the party, but when he checks his email for the blog after what feels like decades, it's sitting in his inbox. They must have some sort of psychic thing going on, because the email was only sent minutes ago and as Jensen lied in his bed, _something _told him to check his blog, his email. And there it was, right there in all its glory, screaming, "Get ready to plan your own exposure, bitch!"

**to: j.theguywiththeblog@gmail.com**

**from: jayrodpahduhlehkey@yahoo.com**

**To J-**

**Hey, so... it's the man of your dreams. Just kidding. But it's Jared if you couldn't tell by the email. Or hey, maybe you have my email saved already because I gave it to you in person, dundundunnn. Anyway.**

**So I was thinking a bit, and you sound... phenomenal. Really. But I'm in a relationship now, and that guy? Also phenomenal. Fucking brainiac, can blow like an angel (woah, that sounds completely dirty but I swear I'm talking vocals), wildly gorgeous and stupid hot... and just great.**

**Though I'd really like to meet you. Think we could meet up at prom?**

**If not then it's cool, but you don't have to be shy. I won't be upset with you for hiding this from me, or think you're weird for the posts... they're really sweet. And you're crazy talented... ever consider doing this professionally?**

**I just wanted to speak a bit in person. Please... if we could just meet? I promise to be cool about everything.**

It takes a solid three hours for Jensen to forge a response, between his squealing over Jared's bragging over him and his lack of brain cells over Jared emailing J, but once he does, it says:

**to: jayrodpahduhlehkey@yahoo.com**

**from: j.theguywiththeblog@gmail.com**

**I think I can do that without fainting... last prom. YOLO.**

Only four minutes pass before Jared's response comes:

**to: j.theguywiththeblog@gmail.com**

**from: jayrodpahduhlehkey@yahoo.com**

**LOL. South exit, 9 o'clock?**

\---

**to: jayrodpahduhlehkey@yahoo.com**

**from: j.theguywiththeblog@gmail.com**

**Then it's settled. Secret identity won't be so secret anymore... feels like the end of a long running tale.**

**But do you think we could keep it between us?**

\---

**to: j.theguywiththeblog@gmail.com**

**from: jayrodpahduhlehkey@yahoo.com**

**You've got it.**

\---

_Shit_. What did Jensen just throw himself into?

***

Jared was–obviously–nominated for prom King. Along with Tom, Chad, and three other guys that Jensen doesn't interact with but knows from their names being passed around the school, or a class they shared earlier in their school years. Stephen Amell, Justin Hartley, and Austin Peck–one of Jensen's old crushes. Kinda funny that he's now going up against Jared for the top spot.

Sandy and Danneel were nominated for prom Queen, as well as four other girls that Jensen would consider acquaintances. Genevieve, Felicia, Katie, and then Adrianne, a girl he met at the party, and who complimented him on his voice and his obvious relationship with Jared. Even though they technically weren't together yet.

Jensen honest to God felt guilty for not voting for Sandy but realized that he did right by voting for Danneel. They _have_ been friends for seven years now, and when he told Jared, he reassured Jensen that he was fine for voting for Danneel. That's his best-friend, how could him or Sandy expect anything different?

Speaking of Jared, their relationship has been really, really, really... just, amazing. There are plenty of better words to describe it, but that's the only word that comes to mind. More dates; the first being the movies, where it may or may not have just been a makeout session in the corner of the outlet theater they went to; another game of basketball where Jared actually helped Jensen play, even if it ended with them rutting like dogs again; lunch and dinner on many nights, because they're both fatasses who love food (God, especially Jared. He can _eat_.); and then the most recent, Jensen going over Jared's house.

He met Jared's parents, but really just his dad, because it turns out he _does_ know Jared's mom from the bakery. He should've realized sooner–the two look so alike, it's not even funny, and she does order cinnamon rolls from the bakery on a weekly basis like Jared mentioned before. Jared's little sister is just like Mackenzie but she's a year older and probably less sassy–well, not really, she's just takes the ass out of sass, unlike Mackenzie who throws extra sarcasm and agitation to her words.

They sat around in Jared's room for a bit, just talking and lazily grinding on Jared's bed (because for some odd reason, being in sweats means that they _must_ hump), until Sadie, Jared's dog, opened the door and bustled in with his other dog Harley in tow. It yanked them out of their little bubble and into the real world, which is where there's three people roaming around outside the door, which, Jensen would like to add, was _unlocked_.

When Jensen questioned why in the hell Sadie knows how to open a door anyway, Jared said defensively, "Well she always goes in and out during the night, and she wouldn't quit licking my face and waking me up to let her out."

Jensen should seriously train Alice to do the same. Jared's too smart for his own good.

After Jared... _communicated_ with Harley and Sadie why they were bouncing around, Jared came to the conclusion that Megan hadn't walked them like he'd asked, so instead of letting Jared get annoyed and demand that she take them on their walk, Jensen suggested they take them instead.

Once they leashed 'em up and pulled their shoes on, they were off, Jensen with Sadie's leash–because she's taken a liking to him–and Jared with Harley's.

Their conversation took several turns. From favorite movies and TV shows to childhood memories, they covered a vast variety of topics and Jensen learned a lot of things about Jared. Like how Jared mentioned he doesn't read much, he actually _does_ read a lot–just not what he thought Jensen would consider "reading". Comics mostly, and then a few sci-fi novels on the side, even less romance and fantasy novels. He was surprised, probably more than he should've been, when Jared said that while he doesn't like to _read _the romance genre as much as he does sci-fi, he...ahem, "Fucking loves romance films".

"You what?" Jensen said with a surprised laugh.

"I love romantic movies," Jared said with an excited grin. "They're so fucking addicting. And cute."

"Makes sense now."

"What?"

"You must be taking notes," Jensen gave their combined hands a pointed look.

"Nah, I don't need to practice. I'm a softy, it comes naturally. They take pointers from _me_."

So now that they're back at Jared's house, Jensen decides that they should watch Jared's favorite movie. He asks Jared if they could put something on.

"Yeah. Like, a movie?" When Jensen nods, he says, "Any movie in particular? I have a lot."

"Your favorite," Jensen replies, finger gliding over the bookshelf full of DVD cases. Jensen scolded him when he first realized they were movies and not books.

Jared's lip curls as his eyes go unfocused in thought. He's thinking serious about this. Finally he says, "The Hunter Games."

"I thought we were picking a romance film?"

"Oh." Jared actually giggles and Jensen's heart melts. "Um... it's kind of, heh," He bites his lip, "It's not my favorite but maybe you want to watch it."

"What?"

"Pride and Prejudice." Jared beams proudly, and Jensen just wants to smother the guy with love and kisses. "I knew you were a lit buff and all but when I heard you quote that I was kind of happy. Not my favorite but it's up there."

"We'll definitely be watching that later," Jensen promises, "But I want your favorite. C'mon, you gotta have one."

"I don't know! How about, uh, Good Will Hunting?"

"You like old movies." Jensen finally notices that the movies are sorted alphabetically and loves Jared for it. "Never watched it but it's an oldie."

"Coming from the guy who's favorite book is from the 1800s."

"Fuck you, Jane Austen is a great author and Pride and Prejudice is a classic," Jensen pulls the case out of it's spot, removes the DVD from the case and inserts it into the player. Jared switches the TV on, then flips the covers back.

Jensen climbs in on the right side of him, and when he sits in the bed beside Jared, he receives a frown. "Like hell if you think you're sitting all the way over there."

"Wha–"

Jared scooches over and rolls on his side, shoves his leg between Jensen's and then rests his head on Jensen's belly. "Mhm. Much better," He hums, satisfied. His hand palms Jensen's stomach and when the shirt raises because of the motion, he pokes the tiny pouch of fat that's bulging because of the angle Jensen's sitting. "This is so cute. Look," Jared grins and pokes it again, "My little angel."

Jensen knows that he's not all tough and muscular, and he's not ashamed of his body, so the comments don't bother him. It actually makes him feel warm inside. "You're such a big baby." Jensen smiles and sends a hand through his hair. "Always all over me."

"I'm _your_ big baby," Jared corrects, and then adds, "Always all over you because of this." Jared's teeth bite down on his stomach, and Jensen lets out a sharp yelp for no reason, because he hardly bit Jensen at all. "Like my fluffy little teddy bear."

"You calling me fat?" Jensen teases.

"No. I'm calling you fluffy and huggable and lovable." Jared's head lifts. "You aren't fat at all. I _should_ fatten you up though."

"You already are. I don't play a bunch of sports like you and you keep taking me to go eat."

"Because I like to eat and I like to see you eat," Jared says with a wiggle of his brows.

"You like to...?" Jensen's mouth opens and closes, baffled. Finally he just lands on, "But why?"

"I don't know." Jared gives an honest shrug. "But like... when I looked over the table for the first time and seen you digging into that steak? God," Jared shakes his head. "Swear I could just watch you eat all day."

Jensen's face scrunches up even more, and Jared just smiles lazily and shrugs again, laying his head back down on his stomach. "You're a weirdo," he says.

"I'm a weirdo on a mission to make you squishy."

"Whatever." Jensen finally looks up at the movie on the screen, realizes it's been playing. "We've been missing the movie."

"I'm too sleepy to watch it anyway."

"I should've known." Jensen just turns off the TV–they can watch it together later.

"Maybe you should ask your mom if you can stay..." Jared mumbles, his eyes now shut. Jensen's watched him fall asleep once, though it was during lunch and he was slumped over the table ("Can I come in the library and take a nap during lunch?"). He likes it much better when Jared's lying on top of him. "Not taking you home now."

"Well then I guess I'd have to ask, wouldn't I?" Jensen flicks his ear. Jared just gives a whine from being bothered. "Just sleep. I can have someone come get me."

"Nah." Jared clears his throat, flipping his head the other way. "Just wake me up later. I'll get you home."

"Okay."

Jensen kept telling himself to turn on the TV, start the movie up, grab his phone, something. But he let the hours pass just watching Jared snore lightly, feeling fondness sweep over him with each puff of breath Jared exhales, blowing his bangs back. Jensen's got to be the luckiest guy on Earth.

***

Jared came to grab his mom's cinnamon rolls, but he didn't leave. He quite literally stood in front of the counter and talked to Jensen, then when a customer came he took about three steps to the right, then slid right back into place when they left. Which wasn't often considering it was a Monday and, as their least busiest day, meant they had a small round of customers periodically before there wasn't a single person for at least twenty minutes.

Once Jensen brings up that his mom's cinnamon rolls aren't going to be any fresh, they decide to split them, and his mom asks Jared to let her know when he's getting ready to leave, that way she can prepare a fresh batch.

"So I was thinking..." Jared starts, and Jensen leans over the counter as he sucks the last bit of icing off his index finger. Jared's eyes track the movement and he licks his lips. "You should really... not."

The corner of Jensen's lips twitch into a smirk. "What, this?" He moves onto his thumb, except he uses languid sucking movements and makes sure his eyes are wide as he blinks slowly.

"You're terrible." Jared pouts and–very noticeably–adjusts himself in his pants.

"You're both pigs and Jensen should go wash his hands," Danneel says as she dries her own hands off after she just washed them.

"Later," Jensen promises with a wink, pushing himself off the counter and twisting around to wash his hands. Jensen watches over his shoulder as Jared measles his way over to the barstools and slumps down in one, shifting in his seat.

After washing his hands, he stands across from Jared. "So," Jensen says with a click of his tongue, "What've you been thinking about?"

"College." Jared's voice slips out gently, like it might be a sore subject.

Jensen's still been thinking about that.

"Still thinking about it," He voices, gaze falling to the counter. He draws circles with his finger against the surface and, once Jared realizes that Jensen's doing that thing where he fidgets when he's nervous, Jared grips his hand and starts to draw circles on his pulse. Okay, Jensen should _really_ ask about that, because he does it so often that Jensen's forced to believe there's a reason behind it.

"Why are you nervous?" Jared asks with a small frown. "You don't have to be nervous with me, you know that."

"I know, it's not you. I just feel a bit... _off_ when I think of the future because there's so much to think about and I do _not_ want to be an adult," Jensen sighs and drops his head, scowling.

Jared chuckles, brings his index and middle finger to the underside of Jensen's chin, lifts his head. He's staring at Jensen with this mellow, tranquil look in his eyes, feels like he's scanning the very depths of Jensen's soul, then he whispers, "And why not, angel?"

Jared's never looked at him like this before, but it makes him feel like a warm, welcome home that Jensen wants to crawl inside ever and never leave again. Like he wants to tell Jared all his secrets. He figures that's the entire point.

"Because adults have to make decisions like this," Jensen pouts.

Jared smiles sweetly and pecks the tip of his nose. "You're adorable," At Jensen's roll of his eyes, he smiles wider. "Don't roll your eyes at me."

"You aren't helping."

"How about this." Jensen nods to indicate he's listening at the prompted jump of Jared's eyebrows. "You do what your gut is telling you. If you want to go to USC..." He tilts his head one way, and it's oddly familiar. "Then go to USC. If you want to stay here..." He tilts his head the other way. "...Then stay here."

There's silence for a moment until Jared starts again, as if he was only giving Jensen a moment to process what he just said.

"But you gotta make the best decision for you. I know that you're trying to think about me–ah, _no_," Jared says when Jensen opens his mouth to deny it, "I _know_ that you're trying to think about the choice I'm making, but you can't do that. You have to choose whatever's going to make _you_ happy."

"But like, it wouldn't be _all_ because of you," Jensen says. "I've wanted to go to USC since way before we got together, I was just afraid to go because I didn't want to be all by my lonesome. Or have to make friends because I was maybe just a _bit_ shy. But you would be there. And you helped me come out of my bubble a little. So now it's starting to look... pleasantly enjoyable."

"Actually, I'm glad to hear that. But you still gotta choose what's best for you either way. And you can't make your decision based on what we have, because then you're thinking with your heart and while I love that..." Jared shakes his head slowly. "That's not gonna give you the best future you could have."

Who gave this man to Jensen? "I swear you're my most favorite person like, ever."

"Right back at you." Jared winks and taps Jensen's chin twice before leaning back. "So, got your fit for prom yet?"

Prom's next weekend. "I want to lie so bad, but... no."

"Me either."

***

"I was thinking... green. You know, I really like green," Jared says.

They're lying on Jared's bed together and it's Jensen's first night sleeping over. Sherri didn't mind, but she said, "No fucking in my house boys," which Jensen knew they weren't going to do anyway. Now... Jensen _wanted_ to take the respectful route and cut everything off all around, but they've already soiled one pair of underwear today and Jensen promised Jared it would be the last because he felt incredibly guilty for it and exposed, like he's got a big 'ole sign saying he was just humped to orgasm.

"Since when do you like green? I thought it was blue," Jensen's eyes narrow at him suspiciously.

"I've always liked both. But," Jared sucks in a sharp breath, and his hands lift from where they're lying on his stomach, "Man, seeing those eyes everyday, you kind of learn to love green y'know..."

"Shut up," Jared laughs when Jensen punches his side, "You're so damn cheesy."

"You love it."

"I do," Jensen agrees with a nod. "So you really want green?"

"Well what do you want?"

"I like green, but my favorite color is blue."

"We should find a tie that has blue _and _green in it." Jared taps his fingers against his chin. "I'm really enjoying the idea of you in a tie."

"Why? So you can choke me with it?" Jensen rolls over as he says it, throwing his leg between Jared's, which brings his thigh right over Jared's crotch. His hand draws circles on Jared's chest, fingertips breezing over his nips with a feather-light touch, and Jared shifts a bit under him in a way that aligns Jensen's crotch with Jared's hip. Jared gets that surprised look on his face.

"I was just gonna say that you probably clean up real nice..." Jared's voice has gone low and his accent is thick, "But damn. You're way kinkier than I thought, you know that? But so... innocent."

"I'm just inexperienced, doesn't mean I don't have wild fantasies," Jensen whispers, "Like you choking me... that's one of them."

"Yeah? So with a tie specifically or just with my bare hands?" Jared gives a small roll of his hips, drawing a moan from both of them.

"Well," Jensen sighs when Jared pulls him down tight against his body, "I've always had a thing with your fingers, so..."

"My fingers?" Jensen whines at the sudden loss of movement. Jared rolls him onto his back and hops up to lock the door, then moves over to his nightstand, rumbling through it before climbing in between the 'V' of Jensen's legs. At that moment Jensen knew he was going back on his promise, and he feels another wave of guilt wash over him, but the lust wades through and manages to surface over the guilt. Jensen's going straight to hell.

"Can I?" Jared tugs at Jensen's pants.

With the amount of times they've felt each other up and came to the mere heat and friction of each other's bodies, it's a wonder that they've never seen each other naked before. But oddly, Jensen doesn't feel shy or like he wants to cover up, which is how he expected he'd want to the first time he went nude in front of Jared. There's none of that.

"Yeah," Jensen breathes, and he lifts his hips to help Jared tug the sweats down. He notices how Jared's hands falter when they're gliding back over his thighs, and Jared looks up at him.

"Smooth," Jared comments.

"Wax."

Jared bites his lips and sighs, eyes sliding close for a moment and hands just running over Jensen's skin. After a moment or so passes, Jared hooks his finger into the borrowed briefs with a questioning look, then pulls them off once Jensen gives him the go-ahead.

Then there's Jensen's cock, bobbing slightly with a spot of pre-come at the head. Jared pants and ogles at it in wonder and admiration. "You know, I've had sex once. With a girl. But I've always thought I would be a top when I slept with guys."

"Now?"

"Now I'm not so sure. You... there's no question on if you'd bottom. The question is if you'd give as good as you receive," Jared's eyelids flutter and he leans forward, takes a tentative lick at the tip. Gasping, his hips thrust up and off the bed as Jared hums with a nod of his head.

"Don't really give a shit," Jensen grinds out through his teeth, biting down on his lip as Jared fondles with his balls and continues with the feline-like licks to his cock. Jared tilts his head to the side, puckers his lips and drags them along the length of Jensen's cock. Jensen can feel Jared's tongue even if he can't see it, pressed along the underside as he works his way to the top, making his cock twitch and a thick blurt of pre-come to spout from his slit. Pressing a light kiss there, Jared licks his lips clean of the clear substance. His mouth latches onto his head, sucking hard, so hot and wet around him and fucking amazing that Jensen feels like he's about to explode, both metaphorically and literally.

His head goes down, further, further, further, until Jensen can feel the walls of Jared's throat fluttering around him as Jared struggles not to choke. Jensen squawks and his hips buck, damn near unleashing the orgasm that's built up so quickly, but Jared pulls back with a cough and smacks his lips before Jensen can reach that peak.

"Great! Then we'll do both," Jared says, gravelly but awfully cheery for someone who just had a cock down his throat.

"You gonna just keep teasing me? And–" Jensen snaps, then huffs, "Sorry. For choking you." He's hard and so damn close, cock an angry red and practically drooling pre-come.

"Ouch! Angel's not being such an angel right now," Jared frowns and crawls up the length of his body, latching onto Jensen's lips. Jensen exhales through his nostrils with frustration but, because he can't really resist Jared's lips, he finds himself kissing back, dancing around Jared's tongue with his own. He can taste himself in Jared's mouth, and it's insanely hot, drawing a whimper from Jensen's throat as his cock twitches violently. Then suddenly there's a cold feeling prodding at Jensen's hole and Jared's pulling away with a smug smirk on his face.

Jensen licks his lips, watching as Jared maneuvers to the edge of the bed. There it is again, that cool poking at Jensen's hole, and he shivers as Jared watches him. "Do you finger yourself?"

Jensen gives a weak nod.

"I knew you were a lil' freak," Jared damn near growls and then his long, thick finger is sliding in. Jensen fingers himself, yes, but it's been a while since he's taken the time for anything other than his right hand so he can feel his hole resisting. It's so damn good though, better than when Jensen normally does this on his own, possibly because it's Jared but for whatever reason, it feels like he's lighting up every nerve in Jensen's body... with just a _single finger_.

Jensen's hips lift in an attempt to arch off the mattress, but Jared slams a hand down on his pelvis, pushing him down to the bed. "Ah, tryna run already? From just my finger? Hm," Jared tsks three times. "Don't know if you'll be able to handle me when the time comes."

"You're an assho–"

"Huh?" Jared drives his finger into Jensen's prostate, right off the bat, and Jensen's cock bobs again, string of pre-come connected to his stomach. "Sorry, didn't understand you. I'm a what?"

"An _asshole_."

"You're pushing me, baby." Jensen squirms as Jared draws his index finger back, nudges the tip of his middle finger against his hole until it's slipping in beside the first one. There's the sweet burn of being stretched this time, because Jared _really_ has thick ass fingers and he suddenly feels nostalgic, thinking of fantasies in the library when Jensen was afraid to speak a word to Jared, and now he's writhing under him like a worm on a hook. As a writer, that's what Jensen would call, _character development _(triumphant fist bump).

Jared's large palm strokes up and past his knee, planting small kisses along the pale skin of his inner thigh and nipping at the flesh there, sure to leave bruises to reminisce about later. "Can't be sassing me."

"And who's gonna stop me?" Jensen's voice has a note of defiance and challenge, one that Jared hears loud and clear. His fingers stop right where they are, halfway to being all the way inside Jensen's hole.

"Oh, you really wanna go there?" Jared chuckles with astonishment. "Alright..."

Then they're moving again. Very slowly. So slow, that after a good five seconds pass and he still hasn't reached the third knuckle, Jensen's sitting up on his elbows with a complaint. "Would you come on already?"

"Mm... I don't know if you can take it," Jared's voice is teasing, but when Jared looks up from his thigh and meets Jensen's eye, Jensen can see the real question in them.

And Jensen wasn't just flirting when he told Jared, _Who said I want gentle?_

"You bet my entire ass I can take it, pun intended," Jared snorts and Jensen just smirks competitively. "I said _come on_."

But then he _does_ come on. Like fast, and hard, and rough, and definitely _not_ gentle, and even when it hurts for the initial thirty seconds it feels fucking incredible, like every thrust of Jared's fingers is nudging him closer and closer to a cliffedge that he's gonna go hurtling off the top of. Then, after the pleasure drowns out all the pain, it's like every thrust of Jared's fingers is _shoving_ him closer to this cliffedge and _holy fucking shit _he's just _now _hitting Jensen's prostate?

"Fuck, it–I–_Jay_," Jensen wails, hands scrabbling for the sheets, pillow, hair-anything to grip in his hands. He should probably gag his mouth too, because the volume of his noises are steadily rising at an alarming rate.

"Don't go trying to _Jay_ me now."

"Hate...you," Jensen manages to get out. He chokes on his words when Jared does a bit more than _nip_ him this time, full on biting the meat of his thigh.

"Mhm... shut the hell up," Jared hums and, if Jensen wasn't spiraling head first to orgasm from the bursts of pleasure skittering through his body on a constant loop every tenth of a second, he'd probably laugh at how calm and soothing Jared's voice sounds in a complete contrast to his prostate-abusing-at-super-speed fingers. Before Jensen can realize what's going on, something (it's cotton, but he doesn't know exactly what it is) is being pressed into his mouth. "What happened to all that sass, eh? Went from mouthing off to sounding like a damn porn star in three minutes."

Just like Jensen said before, _asshole_.

Jensen's wondering if he can hold off his pending orgasm for much longer when Jared starts to curl his fingers, rubbing against his inner walls, successfully driving a startled grunt from Jensen and a small purr of approval from Jared. When he feels Jared wriggle his tongue beneath the head of Jensen's cock, he jolts with a bitten-off moan.

"I'm gonna–"

"_Nope_."

Then... it stops.

Jared, fucking, _stops_.

He draws his tongue back, slides his fingers out, then sits up on his knees and just _looks _at Jensen.

"What the actual fuck do you think you're doing?!" Jensen says around the–cotton or whatever, but it comes out all muffled and incomprehensible.

"Hm? Oh–don't think I can understand what you're saying..." Jared crawls forward with a small frown and, when the fuck did he lose his pants?!

His cock, standing tall and flushed like Jensen's, flounces around between his legs as he jostles both their bodies on his way up the bed. Smiling over Jensen innocently, who's shooting him the dirtiest glare he can muster with his mouth gagged, his hands slide over Jensen's shirt. He thumbs at Jensen's nipples, pulling and twisting and pinching until Jensen's making soft, whiny noises and just panting. Jensen's trembling with the discomfort of pestering tinges of pleasure, just enough to make him want to burst out of his skin, but not enough to steer him to completion. He whimpers and sends Jared his best puppy-dogs eyes.

"Must be ready to come?" Jared asks knowingly and before Jensen can stop himself because he has zero self-restraint, he's nodding his head eagerly.

"Wanna hear you..." Jared pulls away the gag, which are briefs, and he–

Wait a goddamn minute.

"Are those...?" At Jared's single nod and tiny smirk, Jensen's eyelids flutter and his hips roll in search for friction, but he fails to find anything. "Jay just let me come, quit being a little bitch."

"Oh? Now you beg for it."

"...Jared just c'mon."

"You're being stubborn baby, and rude too. Stubborn and rude people don't get a nice, happy orgasm. Maybe you should rethink your attitude."

His lips curl into a pout and, if just a little bit of tears well up in his eyes out of both ordinary and sexual frustration, it's his secret. "Please," Jensen whispers, cheeks blooming red because he may be a freak, but actively begging for it feels like another level of dirty.

Jared's lips twitch into a smirk and he brushes a lock of his hair away from him ear.

"What was that?"

"Jay _please_, I need to come," Jensen says, louder and more confident this time.

Sitting back with a particularly satisfied look on his face, he hums his approval and he continues to slide towards Jensen's hips. "Good boy."

Jensen hears a squirt of lube being squeezed out of the tube and then not one, not two, three fingers are stretching his hole. Jared's going slow again like he's trying to accustom his body to the third finger. At this point, Jensen's far past ready to come and he's damnit stretched _enough_, so he brings his own hips back to push the fingers deeper inside of him. "Come on, I can take it, need to come so bad–"

"Hush baby, I got you."

Then he's drilling Jensen's hole again. It's goddamn amazing, nerves firing off inside him with every press of his fingers and Jensen is right there, teetering on the edge.

Jared's hand comes up and grabs Jensen's, bringing it down to Jensen's cock. He's thinking that Jared wants him to finish himself off until a second dick is sliding into Jensen's grip, and then Jared laces their fingers together and drags them up the length of their two dicks.

Jensen, almost immediately, stiffens and bucks hard into the touch as a choked-off cry exits his throat, and he's coming harder than he ever has in his entire life, pulsing and twitching in the combined hands. His load slicks the way as Jared's own thrusts stutter–then he gives this sexy, deep, guttural moan as he reaches his own orgasm, releasing hot and wet in their hands.

When they've both came down from their orgasms, Jared leans down and seizes Jensen's lips like he's been starved of them and Jensen just sighs, opens up for him when he bites at Jensen's lip. After the orgasm he had earlier and the even more intense one he had just now, he's beat, and it's already late as is, so he can't really help that he's starting to doze with Jared's tongue in his mouth.

"Okay, Jen? Not too much?" Jared mumbles against his lips, pecking the corners of his mouth and the tip of his nose.

Jensen shakes his head no. It was fucking great, and if that's how far off Jared can get him, then he's almost sure that he's gonna blackout when the sex comes.

"I would have never expected that from you. I got a freaky baby."

Jensen can't really gather the brain cells necessary to form a response to that, so he gives a little shrug and turns his head.

"You're pretty useless after you orgasm," Jared snickers and pushes at his shirt. "You're like, _dead_."

"Shut up," Jensen mumbles, lifting his torso that way Jared can pull the rest of his shirt off. Jared tugs his own shirt off then wipes their hands clean on them. "I had two."

"I can recall. You were all," Jared clears his throat and his eyes slide shut, "Please, I need to come!" Jared snickers as he slips Jensen's sweats back up his legs.

"Like I said," Jensen punches Jared's arm and Jared laughs through an _ow_. "You're an asshole."

Jensen shuffles over to give Jared room, but Jared just follows him, so he internally shrugs and allows Jared to wrap himself around Jensen like a damn octopus.

"Goodnight, angel," He says lowly, smacking a sloppy wet kiss on Jensen's cheek, causing him to whine and push at Jared's face. Jared chuckles and tucks closer into Jensen's side.

A few more minutes pass before Jared says, "You know, that was _really_ hot, hearing you beg like that."

"Aren't you supposed to be going to sleep?"

"Well you aren't, so I figured I would say that."

Another few minutes pass. "And I really want to choke you with your tie."

"I'm wondering if _I'm_ the one with these kinks or if you are."

"A silk tie. Silk would look nice on you."

That gives Jensen an idea.

"Alright, go to sleep you knucklehead," Jensen's leg curls in between Jared's and he nuzzles Jared's collarbone. If he sniffs a little because Jared's scent makes his head spin, it's just another one of his secrets.

"Goodnight, Jen."

"Goodnight, Jay."

***

"Are you fucking kidding?!" Jessica squeals gleefully, clapping her hands. "You're gonna get laid on prom night, Jense."

"I don't know. If it happens, it happens. When we first got together a couple weeks ago I wasn't ready, but that man just keeps..." Jensen licks his lips with a shudder, shaking his head clear of the thoughts inhabiting his mind. Not the appropriate time, Jensen. "It depends, really. We probably won't, 'cause Tom's throwing an after party at his house and we plan on going, so. But if we choose not to, then that's a different story and it just depends on what happens."

"Look at you." Jessica, literally, swipes a tear away from her cheek and beams. "Got your dream boyfriend, going to prom with him, not sure if you're gonna fuck or go to a party after. You've blossomed."

"Most people would think that's a bad thing. D'you think it's bad? I'm not changing too much, am I?"

"You aren't really _changing_, per se. See you've always been outgoing and wild once you're comfortable, and we all know you've always been a little dirty thing." Jensen blushes as he recalls Jessica asking about a few of his works... specifically a few of the ones that were NSFW. "You're comfortable with him now so you're gonna be that way with him, and considering he's your boyfriend, he gets to experience that freakiness in you that no one else has gotten to. The only change is that you're starting to socialize more with _other people_ and letting that other side of you be seen. And what's bad about that?"

"But that's all because of Jared. I don't want to be that person who switches up because of their boyfriend."

"Well it's a good change so why does it matter?" Jessica shrugs carelessly, leaning back and crossing her feet at the ankles. "It's not like you weren't already having wild fantasies, it's not like you didn't already go to parties, it's not like you didn't already play guitar and sing."

"I mean, technically I didn't go to that many parties."

"And you still haven't went to many. You've literally been to one, and you're going to," She raises her index finger for emphasis, "_One_ more after prom. That's nothing, sweetie," Jessica points out. When Jensen doesn't say anything, but instead frowns a little, Jessica sighs. "Look, you've got to quit worrying about everything and everyone but yourself, okay? It's not good for you and it's unnecessary. Even if you did change, so what? You're happy, so do what's gonna keep making you happy."

Jensen really loves and appreciates Jessica in a way he could never put into words. "Jessica, I love you. If I was straight I'd be _in_ love with you."

"And I have no excuse for why I'm not _in_ love with you, but I definitely love you too." Jessica shrugs with a grin, apologetic, and Jensen just laughs. "So..."

"So..." Jensen juts his chin out.

"You guys are obviously prospering. Are you gonna tell him about J?"

"You act like that's going to _help_," Jensen says, making large gestures with a long groan.

"Jensen, it's not gonna change anything."

"But Jess, you don't_ know _that!"

"How many times have you said that to me? And how many times have I been proven right?"

Jensen glares at her silently.

"Just saying." She holds her hands up. "Maybe you should start thinking more positive."

***

"You ask her. She'll tell me no."

Jared's eyes narrow into slits, facial expression screaming, _Are you kidding me?_ "She's _your_ mom."

"But she loves you," Jensen whines, slapping his hand down on the counter lightly. "You're like, the _golden boy_. She talks about you all the time."

It's true. When talking to his mom at home, there has not been one time where the conversation doesn't drift to Jared fucking Padalecki, even if it's just a subtle slip of his name. Not once. His mom loves Jared because, _"He's turned my baby into the little social butterfly that I knew he could be."_

He's just glad that his mom, for some reason, wants him to go out and act as teenagers his age do so that he's allowed to do things with Jared, like the parties for example. Do you know how many times Jensen's had to ask his mom _not_ to offer to buy him a six-pack just in case him and Chris want to go "hangout"? "I know you can't buy it on your own," she would say.

She doesn't want him going out and getting black-out drunk, snorting crack and getting arrested for public indecency, but she thinks it's good for him to go out with his friends to a party every once in a while, have a drink or two, have sex. "You're 18 now," she said on his birthday. "You don't wanna go out with _anybody_? Don't have no one to show your birthday suit to?"

It was an awkward conversation, but when his mom found out that he was still a virgin, she thought it was bizarre. It lead into this wild, even more awkward story about how early she started having sex and it was awful, and Jensen never wants to hear about how his mother was getting down 'n dirty at sixteen, or how she has no clue how he's lasted this long without... ahem, _getting fucked into a mattress_. His mother's always been an open woman, but never _that _open.

And Jensen never wants to think about the day after he brought Chris over for the first time, how she came in with four boxes of condoms, one of each size, and said that if he's having sex he should be safe. He of course, was _not_, because Chris is straight and definitely not Jensen's type anyway, but she insisted that he keep them. All four boxes still reside in the bottom drawer of his nightstand.

He always thought it was weird and, quite frankly, he still does. But that doesn't mean he's not relieved that she's cool with him doing those things and honestly kind of loves how laid-back she is, even if that comes with those conversations that make Jensen want to shove knives in his ears. She told him one day, "I would prefer you be safe doing these things, rather than you sneaking off to be rebellious and getting into trouble or hurt." It made sense, so Jensen stopped questioning it. Now he's just glad that him and his mom have that kind of trust.

So he knows if Jensen asks if Jared can spend the night, she won't care. That's not why he's begging Jared to ask.

"I'm not asking her, Jen! She's going to–" Jared's voice breaks off as he glances over to where Danneel is ringing up a woman's éclairs. "She's going to think I'm just trying to perv on you," He whispers.

"My mom would probably clap and cheer if she found out you and I fucked," Jensen shoots Jared a look that tells him that Jensen isn't kidding. "I'm telling you, she _wants_ me to do these things. She thinks it's healthy for me to be doing them–or, normal anyway. Found it weird and thought it was a sign of like, isolation or something that I didn't. That's why she loves you so much."

"We..." Jared blinks like he's caught off guard. "Are not having sex in your house, by the way," Jared says. "And you aren't about to start doing a bunch of shit you wouldn't just because we're together now. You better not."

"I'm not. I already drank at parties so there's not much that I haven't done already," Jensen reassures him. Did Jensen mention how Jared was the sweetest guy to ever exist? To be actively worried about Jensen staying true to himself is of significance to him. "And I know. We aren't having sex in yours either."

Jared's lips pucker and his face screws up as they lift to his nose. "Mm... I mean, we've already–"

"No!" Jensen cuts him off. "I don't care what we've already done. That's not _sex_," Jensen whispers sharply.

"So... we can't have sex in my house but we can fool around in it?"

"Don't worry, the same rules apply for both houses."

"I'm not fooling around in your house at all!"

"And why not?"

"I–because–it's just different in your house."

Jensen's head drops against the counter. "How did we even get to this point? Look, just ask if you can spend the night! She's not gonna care, promise."

"Then why don't _you_ ask her?" Jared gives him a pointed look.

"Mommy," Jensen sing-songs. His lips twist with humor as he watches Jared shake his head frantically, up until he stops and gives a fixed smile at someone behind him, that someone totally being his mother.

"Yeah, hon?" His mom's hand comes to rest on Jensen's back and, before he can even turn and see for himself, he already knows that she's giving Jared her most dazzling smile. Because he's her darling boy or something. Jensen refrains from rolling his eyes (Jokingly, of course–can't blame his mother for being so fond of Jared).

"Jared has something to ask you..." Jensen trails off, angling Jared a look that tells him to go on.

Jared tucks his lips into his mouth. "Mrs. Ackles, I was wondering if–if I could stay the night." Jensen's a bit surprised to hear his voice so quiet and hear the thick drawl in his words. Jared's not usually nervous around him, but he can make that connection now.

This is why he wanted Jared to ask, so he could get past this sense of uneasiness around Jensen's mother. It's not like he stutters and is afraid to talk to her or anything, it's that he acts extremely formal and straightens up like he might be one of her soldiers or something. It's the strangest thing, seeing the transition in Jared's actions and posture every time his mom is around and, while it's sweet of him to want to be on his best behavior, Jensen doesn't want him to feel like he's obligated to act like he's heading into battle when in near proximity of Jensen's mom.

It's even worse around Jensen's dad, but his dad actually _is_ intimidating, so he figured he would work on getting Jared comfortable around his mom first. Plus, since Jared comes to the bakery with Jensen after school so often, his mom is the parent he's around the most.

"No," His mom spits.

Jensen can't fault Jared for the way his face drops and he looks a bit hurt–it was kind of harsh. And completely unexpected too, what the _hell_? Even if she were to tell him no, it would be in the sweetest way; "Not tonight, hun," or something like that.

"Mom!"

"No, no! I'm sorry–I was just messing with you," His mom's hand comes to rest on Jared's forearm with a shake of her head. Jared noticeably slumps with relief, a small sigh escaping his lips. "Just–stop calling me Mrs. Ackles. Makes me feel old."

"Yes ma'am."

"Yes what?"

Jared's cheeks tint a bright red, and, "Yes, mom."

His mother's face lights up and she taps his arm before she turns to Jensen, says, "I'm going to the ladies' room right quick, be back in a minute."

Jensen nods and watches his mom's retreating figure until she disappears into the restroom. And proceeds to giggle like a twelve year old girl.

Danneel must have witnessed the exchange because she's over there trying to bite back her little chortles and snickers, but she's failing miserably at her attempt.

"Stop laughing at me!" Jared damn near screeches, and Jensen's knees buckle under the force of his laughter.

"I'm-" Jensen stands upright, hand falling over his stomach and the other one reaching out to clutch at Jared's jaw. "I'm sorry. You're just so cute."

"Whatever." Jared smacks his hand away, sending him a frown. It's not a real one but Jensen doesn't want to see it anyway.

"Stop it." Jensen reaches for his face again and Jared doesn't smack his hands away this time, but instead tilts his head forward. Jensen leans in and takes two fingers, pushes his cheeks up until his lips curve into a smile. "See? Look how cute." Jensen continues to make little babbling noises as he squishes and squeezes Jared's cheeks, pushing and pulling and smashing them together until his lips pucker, then pecking them before pulling away with a small grin. He can see how Jared's doing his best not to smile or laugh.

"I need a damn boyfriend," Danneel groans from beside them. Finally, Jared cracks.

"You know..." Jared's lips curve into a smirk as he eyes her. "Steve's single."

"Way to be subtle," Jensen says.

"Well I caught him staring not so subtly at the party, so I asked him and he thinks you're cute. I mean... take it from someone who wasted years of waiting around," Jared completely angles his body toward Danneel's, earnesty in his face and voice. "If you _are_ interested? Just go for it."

Jensen's heart flutters and in that moment, he wonders if he could just shrink Jared into a little doll to carry around his pocket.

Slipping a hand through Jared's hair, he turns to look at Danneel. "Can you believe I was afraid to talk to _him_? _This_ dude? Of all people?"

"And can you believe I was afraid to turned down by _him_? _This_ dude? Of all people? Like he could ever turn down me."

"Whatever," Jensen says, goofy grin curving on his lips. Because he really couldn't.

***

Jensen's starting to get cold feet.

Prom is tonight. J is going to expose himself as Jensen _tonight_.

He wasn't as worried about it for the past few days, was honestly a bit excited and relieved to put this behind him, but then his thoughts began to wander as they tend to do.

Yes, Jared told J that he wouldn't be upset even if it was someone he knew. Yes, Jared told Jensen that there was no secret he could keep that would make Jared turn away from him. But this could easily count as an exception from either identity.

Jensen should have told him the truth. He _lied_, and however Jensen tries to twist it in his mind so he feels less guilty about it, he still lied. None of that _oh, I didn't lie, I just avoided the truth_ bullshit. He let Jared feel guilty for wanting to take Jensen to prom instead of J when they're the _same damn person_.

And the fact that Jensen still hasn't told Jared, even after they got together, after Jared asked if it was okay for him to meet J, after Jared emailed J and asked him if they could meet. That makes it all worse. He's had countless opportunities to come clean but instead chose to play innocent every time. It's been two months since they've started talking, over a month since they've been together, and Jared is _still_ oblivious to the fact that he's dating his secret admirer.

Maybe Jensen's overthinking this, maybe Jensen's just paranoid, maybe Jared will prove him wrong again. But as of right now, it's five hours before–and these are _Jared's_ words–_the_ _man of his dreams_ will darken his doorstep, cleaned up all nice and ready to take Jensen to a prom that has the potential of being the best school event Jensen's ever attended, and he's scared as fuck.

And before anyone tries him, _yes_, he goes to school events; not only did he go to last year's prom, but he's went to _every _homecoming. Even Jared hasn't went to every homecoming. To be fair, he only went because Chris, Danneel, and Jessica forced him to go to _every single one_. He still thinks it was ridiculous, but he _went_! So he's definitely acquired the rights to say that this has the potential of being the best school event he's ever went to.

And honestly? Out of all the previous events, it's ironic that when he finally has a date, _the_ date... he's in his bed wondering if he should pretend to be running a fever, or something.

Then he realizes how much of a selfish prick he's being and that, even if J's gonna ghost Jared, he can't skip out on prom altogether. Jensen means this in the least arrogant way possible (Jensen says this a _lot_), but Jared's been waiting to take this hot piece of ass to prom too. I mean, he _literally _said, "I can't pass you up," and if Jensen were to leave him hanging like that... he's ashamed for allowing the thought to even cross his mind.

Plus let's be honest here, Jared would skip prom just to take care of Jensen. He's blessed to have a boyfriend who genuinely cares about him enough to do that, and to be aware of that, and he's not going to take advantage of how much the fucker cares for him.

Dragging himself from the comfy depths of all the covers on his bed, he slouches on his way to the bathroom and pauses in front of the full-body mirror on his wall. "Let's throw ourselves on the ground, break our hip, and weasle our way out of prom tonight," Jensen says to himself, a fake smile splitting his lips as he throws a peace sign up.

His phone buzzes in his pocket. It's Jared.

**I'm getting ready and I'm maybe a bit nervous**

Jensen's glad to know that he's not the only one.

He types out his response: **Why? Just lil 'ole me. Nothing to be nervous about.**

Jensen's phone buzzes for a second time: **That's everything to be nervous for. Just want this to be perfect. Don't mind me though. Are you getting ready?**

Jensen stares at his reflection. He sees green eyes and thick eyelashes and freckled cheeks, full lips and an angled jawline. But he also sees a dull face staring back at him, shadowed with anxiety and fear.

Why? Why is he so afraid?

_You kidding me? If you don't humanize and have a good time tonight. Whatever happens, happens. Just stick with your gut._

Jensen's thumbs hover over the keyboard for a few beats, before he says: **Yup. Don't worry, this****'ll**** be**** perfect**

Talk it into existence, right?

***

"Jesus _Christ_."

Jensen's cheeks are florid when he brings his hands to cover his face, and he can feel the blood rushing straight to his cheeks and up to the very tips of his ears under Jared's surveying gaze. Jared pulls his hands away and Jensen's damn near blinded by the smile he's sporting. His eyes are about the size of flying saucers and they're constantly sweeping up and down Jensen's body, making eye contact with Jensen for approximately two seconds before he's back to gawping at him.

"Do you have on...?" Jared's hands lift to Jensen's face before he yanks them away, like they'll burn if he touches.

"Maybe a little bit," Jensen says. Jared's face lights up.

Jensen loves Danneel but she must love him even more, because as soon as he got out of the shower earlier there she was, sitting on his bed with a gleeful smirk and her makeup bag.

"Sit your pretty ass down so I can make you even prettier," She'd said as Jensen just stared at her, towel wrapped around his body and water steadily dripping on the ground. Jensen's eyebrows lifted and he tried to reject... _whatever _she was about to do to him, but she refused, insisting that if he didn't want to wear it she could wipe it off–wasn't like it'd do any harm, and he had enough time.

It wasn't that Jensen hadn't dabbled in makeup before; Jensen is maybe a bit more than just _in touch _with his feminine side. It's just that, well, he wasn't gonna go to prom all glammed out like he tends to do when Danneel is over and they're in her makeup. He wasn't sure if Jared was into that type of thing and he wasn't about to risk that no matter _what_ Jared promised him that night on the basketball court. He's also not trying to be roasted, broiled, flamed, and torched by all his fellow peers on the last prom he'll ever go to (wow, he's actually a bit sad to think of it that way) when he could just skip the makeup altogether.

But he gave into Danneel because she vowed to take it off if he wasn't digging it, so he sat there and let her work her magic. She really didn't do much–plucked his eyebrows and filled them in with just a smidgen of pomade; had him exfoliate then add some sort of tint to his lips, so they'd look generously plump and red in a just-made-out-for-hours kind of way (honestly, it was Jensen's favorite part about his entire face); and last, a dash of highlight to his cupid's bow and the inner crease of his eyes (he asked her to remove the highlight from his cheekbones because it felt like too much).

She did it so fast that Jensen was worried that he'd look in the mirror and this time, find Pennywise staring back at him. But of course, Danneel made it look perfect, and it wasn't overbearing like he secretly wanted it to be so he could say for once, "Ha! You aren't the master of everything makeup, now take this shit off," but she really is. Her coming over and fixing him up before leaving to finish getting herself ready, he's definitely grateful for her and her excellent skills, even if they're accompanied with bragging rights.

Especially if it means catching Jared's attention like _this_.

"You look so pretty," Jared's words are a hushed whisper and Jensen's not sure if he was supposed to hear it. There's pure awe and amazement evident in his voice, and then all of a sudden, Jared's thumb is swiping over Jensen's bottom lip. Jensen knows that he's not imagining the hunger in Jared's eyes when Jared pulls his thumb away. "Let me stop before this goes terribly wrong."

Jensen smiles and chuckles, taking a step back to give Jared a once, or twice, or thrice-over. Jared looks amazing–with the traditional black suit and white undershirt, then the tie that's identical to the one around Jensen's neck, navy blue with a stripe of white bordering each elf green stripe. There's a handkerchief tucked into his breast pocket, same navy blue color of their tie, and in Jensen's, he has a handkerchief the same elf green color of their tie. Cheesy, yes, but who cares? They're gonna step in to prom like a power couple.

Hopefully they step out as one, too.

"Jared promised pictures at prom so blame him."

For a moment, he forgot his mother was even in the room. Then he realizes Sherri's here too, along with his aunt–which, even though it wasn't _confirmed_ that she'd be here, it's not exactly shocking to see her.

Once Jensen snaps out of the small daze he was in, he gives a little shimmy of his head and greets his aunt and Sherri with wide smiles and hugs, to which they both end up squeezing him until his ribcage damn near snaps, then urges him back over to Jared for their pictures. They inform him that they've already took Jared's pictures so once they capture Jensen and Jared together, they're gonna get Jensen, ahem, _looking all pretty on his own_. Sherri even comments on the blush he's wearing and he hesitates on telling her that he's actually not wearing any blush, but that the red tint on his cheeks is just a result of his easily triggered state of embarrassment.

The pictures seem to drag on for an eternity, with oodles of poses; formal ones, goofy ones, couple-y ones, and just plain smiling ones, until Jensen _finally _catches his aunt's eyes and gives her a _look_.

"Alright, we've got thousands'a pictures." His aunt smiles knowingly with a wink. "I say we let them get this show on the road, huh?"

"Yeah, yeah, just _one more_-"

"Mom, we gotta go," Jensen says as he glances down at his watch. "Prom started at seven. I mean–we weren't planning on being there right at seven, but, y'know."

"Yeah, I do." His mom beams at him before she gives him a tight squeeze, patting his back with enough force that he's positive his spinal cord's going to snap this time, and then pulls away before dragging Jared into a hug too. "Okay. You two be safe, alright? And I mean _safe_. All around."

It seems that Jared's been around Jensen's mom enough to catch the double meaning and he blushes, tucking his hair behind his ear. "Yes ma–mom."

"You guys have a good time," Sherri says with a wave. "Take lots of pictures, okay?"

Once they reassure the three women that they're gonna take _loads _of pictures, they finally head out. Jared grips his hand and walks him to the car, so formal, and even pulls the passenger door open for him. "Such a gentleman," Jensen teases with a small grin, sliding into his seat.

"Hush." Jared returns the grin as he shuts the door, jogging around to his side and climbing inside. "Gonna be a good night."

"Yup," Jensen agrees, and if Jared catches that Jensen's less enthusiastic than he is, he doesn't mention it.

That anxious feeling is really starting to kick in now. If he doesn't get a hold of his nerves, he's going to ruin the night far before it begins.

***

Jensen thought about it long and hard on the way there. While he felt completely dickish for not only letting it cross his mind for a second time, but actually deciding on the change of plan, it settled his nerves.

He decided that J wouldn't be meeting Jared at the south exit. While he wasn't sure if he was going to grow a sack and spill everything after the prom or wait until the next day, he knew that it wouldn't be happening at nine tonight. Jensen wanted to have a good prom. After dreaming of the perfect prom night with Jared for the entire duration of his time in highschool, he was just too selfish to throw it away in risk of Jared possessing negative feelings toward him for keeping J a secret identity.

Two months of this. A couple extra hours can't hurt anything, right?

At the school, they met up with Sandy and Chad at the entrance. Chad's date is a girl named Sofia who has a strong chin, a natural blush to her high cheekbones and pretty dimples–though not as pretty as Jared's. Sandy plans on just kicking back and hanging with friends, and she tries to slip past them that if she gets the chance she'll dance with this guy named Brian, but they catch it and tease her about him until they get inside.

It was good, no–_great_ for an entire hour. Jensen drank punch that actually wasn't spiked and ate food that wasn't as bad as the food they serve in the cafeteria, and that makes sense once Jessica tells him that it was catered. Speaking of Jessica, she looked absolutely stunning in her red, satin gown and silver diamonds around her neck and wrists. Jensen commented on her hair that hung silky straight down her back, and she flipped it majestically for him, laughing lightly when Jensen clapped. And he even pointed out that Mr. Weatherly was eyeing her, leaving the two of them to talk. Jessica's cheeks were as red as her dress.

Danneel filled Jensen in on the deal with Steve. She totally snitched on Jared for blabbing his mouth but said that Steve, the humble guy he is, just shrugged and went, "It's true. You seem amazing, and I'd like to get to know you," so they've been talking ever since. Jensen's happy for her. Her last endeavors ended not so great–one was a douche that she dumped, one dumped her, and the last one cheated. That was over a year ago though, and she claimed to be taking some time to reconnect with herself. He's glad to see her open and vibing with someone else now, someone who actually seems like a great guy.

But of course everything had to go fucking left just then because, did Jensen think he was seriously off the hook?

He caught a dance with Sandy just before she went off with Brian, and they conversed about Jared. "I've never seen him like this before. You've got him whipped," She said as they twirled around, hand on his shoulder and the other around his back. "And you're important to him."

Just as she was slipping away at the end of their dance, Jensen grabbed her wrist and asked, "Hey, do you know where Jared is right off?"

It wasn't that Jared and Jensen hadn't seen each other–actually, they'd been together much more than Jensen would've thought, considering Jared's popularity and the fact that he's a nomination for prom King. But, surprisingly, it hadn't been that bad. They just hadn't had much time to dance or talk _alone_. He was hoping that he could catch a chance to do that, especially since the song was ending and a new one would start any second.

Her face scrunched up, eyes darting around the room until they landed on a fixed point, and her eyebrows jumped as recognition dawned over her face. "Oh! He–um, he said something about the... north exit? Something like that. I tried to ask him what the hell he was doing but he was gone like that," she snapped her fingers, "So, uh... yeah."

Jensen froze. Sandy must've switched up the exits, but either way Jared had to be preparing to meet with J. He glanced at his watch and realized that it was indeed a few minutes past nine.

Okay, no big deal. He could go to the exit and... wait Jared out until he comes inside?

God, Jensen's fucking terrible.

He's still standing there right now–Sandy's wrist in the tight grip of his fist, and she's giving him a look that he can't exactly place; pity, confusion, concern, the whole I-feel-uncomfortable-but-I'm-not-sure-why shtick. He finally shakes himself out of his thoughts, releases her fist.

"Okay yeah, sorry, uh–thanks."

She hesitates before nodding and turning away, and he's glad that she doesn't look uncomfortable anymore, just a generous amount of confusion and concern written in the furrowed line of her brows.

Jensen turns on his heels and he makes his way through the doors of the gym. He steps with perfectly calculated strides to focus on something other than what he's doing, than where he's going, than who he's going to at this very moment. It's mind-boggling how he even managed to type anything other than a striking _hell to the NO!_ when Jared asked either him or J about meeting up tonight.

He marches through the halls, a man on a mission. _Gotta get to Jared, gotta make sure he's okay, gotta make sure he doesn't hate me–_

Before he even realizes it, he's staring through the small glass at Jared, who's just... standing there. Waiting. It fucking breaks Jensen to pieces to see him there when Jensen was just going to _stand him up_, leave him out here all alone and disappointed and to wonder endlessly about who the guy was that wrote him personalized letters and undoubtedly tickled his fancy to no end.

Jensen barrels through the door and Jared spins around, face lighting up bright enough to illuminate the night sky. "Thank _God_. I told Sandy to tell you the north exit."

"Oh, I just assumed Sandy had gotten confused and switched up..." Jensen says, then asks, "Why'd you tell her north? You guys were supposed to be meeting here, right?"

Jared stares at him, unblinking. Jensen gets the cold chill and it spirals right down his spine, forcing his body to shudder violently at the way Jared's eyeing him like he knows the secret to the universe. Or maybe Jensen feels that way because Jared's got his eyes transfixed on him like he knows Jensen's secret. But that's impossible, 'cause–

"Yeah... and you'd know that, wouldn't you?"

Now it's Jensen's turn to stare at him, unblinking. A sharp spike of terror flares inside of his chest and an overwhelming sense of dread washes over him at the knowing look on Jared's face, and there's no fucking way, it's _impossible_ but he _knows_. He was looking at Jensen like he knows because he does.

What... how did...?

Oh, _fuck_.

"I..." Jensen draws in a shaky breath, and for some reason, maybe because he's a fucking idiot and there're only two function cells in his brain, he tries to play it off. "I don't know what you... I d-don't–"

"Jen..." Jared shakes his head. "I know. You don't have to keep it secret anymore."

"But I don't know what you mean," Jensen insists, and at this point, he's saying it like he wants to believe that he seriously doesn't have a clue as to what Jared's talking about.

"Come on, _J_," Jared says teasingly as the corners of his lips twitch, and Jensen is tired of seeing that pitiful look on people's faces tonight. "Know what I mean now?"

"But–how?" Jensen gives in, defeated. "How did you... I mean–"

"A couple things. I needed a way to confirm it though so I emailed J. Told him south exit but came to the north exit instead and told Sandy to tell you–Jensen–where I went. Then it'd be a win-win situation, because you would either tell me the truth as J or try to weasel your way out of it like I figured you would, but only J knew where we were supposed to meet. I never told you the south exit."

"So you told Sandy north exit on purpose? To trap me?" Jensen's voice sounds a bit distant, but he's still trying to wrap his head around this entire thing, y'know, Jared actually know who the hell he is.

"Were you going to come clean about it on your own?"

Jensen looks away guilty, scratches at his neck. Probably not tonight anyway.

He hears Jared huff out a laugh, feet scraping across the concrete as he readjusts his posture and Jensen just panics. This is not how he wanted this to go.

"Jared I'm sorry," Jensen rushes. Jared looks a bit alarmed, but Jensen just keeps going. "I was just scared that you'd judge me at first but then when I realized you wouldn't I got scared that you'd be upset with me for lying and making you worry about J when it was actually me and–_and–_" Jensen inhales sharply, "I didn't want to lose you because I _love_ you and I'm such a fucking idiot, and I know you probably hate me but–"

"Woah, woah, woah!" Jared takes large, quick strides until he's right in front of Jensen and shaking his shoulder roughly. "Hey!" He snaps, and Jensen blinks at him (finally, some damn blinking!) and his hands curve around Jared's arms. "Calm down before you have an anxiety attack."

"I don't have..." Jared eyes him and Jensen just shuts his mouth.

"Why would I hate you? I told you that I wouldn't be upset with you over this." Jared's face falls into a frown. "I told both of you."

Jensen bows his head because he really doesn't know what to say.

"Come on."

Jared grips Jensen's wrist and pulls him over to the benches lined up against the wall and, if Jensen needed another sign that Jared wasn't upset about this, it'd be that the man pulls Jensen into his lap. He feels guilty for loving it so much at a time like this.

"I already knew about J before everyone started to talk about it. Well, I didn't realize that even though the guy seemed eerily identical to me, that it could _actually_ be me. So when I found out, I wanted to know who J was because he seemed so amazing. I remember thinking that he was so damn smart.

"But I had been avoiding talking to you, my real life, human crush that I've wanted since freshman year. J seemed so damn great but there was no way in hell that I was going to let this year end without even trying to get with you.

"Then we actually started to talk and you were even better than I thought, fucking... perfect. And then I started to notice some things. Like your love of Pride and Prejudice. Even though your love for that book should've gave it away, that's not what did. Actually–I was shocked that you let it slip. Constantly."

Jensen's just soaking this all in. Jared's stroking his thigh in a comforting yet distracting way, and he forces himself to focus damnit, not get lost in the feel of Jared's hand drifting closer and closer to his inner thigh.

"What did I let slip?" Jensen asks quietly. Jensen shifts on his thigh to look at Jared's face, who's giving him this small smile, like Jensen's a cute little bunny.

"Well you keep calling me Jay, dummy."

It's like there's a dam in his mind, holding back his common sense, and it just came crashing down. "_Look. You call him Jay, right? I've heard everyone call him Jare, but not Jay_," Jessica's voice reverberates through his mind, and he actually brings his hand forward to slap himself on the forehead.

"God, I'm an _idiot_," Jensen groans.

"I realized in the bakery that night we played basketball. That's kinda why I jipped all of a sudden," Jared admits sheepishly. "I wasn't angry or anything, just–shocked and confused about what to do."

It makes perfect sense all of a sudden. That's why he froze in the booth–because Jensen called him Jay, not because of his erection. And then it happened again on the basketball court, and Jensen recalls him freezing a second time. He exposed himself so damn easily, he's... pretty embarrassed about how slow he was, how slow he feels at the moment.

So when Jared said any secret on the basketball court, this secret _does_ count.

"And after I started talking to you, J was pretty much in the back of my mind, but when I realized he was you, I really wanted you to tell me. But something told me _that_ wasn't going to happen."

"So you've known all this time..." Jensen's just, dumbfounded.

"Yeah. And–don't kill her, but Jessica knew that I knew." Jensen's jaw drops to the damn ground. "I emailed her as soon as I realized because I knew there was no way in hell she didn't know. Well, not as soon as I found out. I blurted it to Sandy and Chad first, but the next day I talked to her about it."

Jessica knew?! That Jared knew?! And didn't say anything?! As Jensen worked himself up into a frenzy worrying about what was going to happen?! No wonder she just went all, _oh, everything's gonna be fine_, because she _knew_! That's not fair. She's always right because she _cheats_.

"That little..." Jensen's lips twist as Jared chuckles, hand squeezing Jensen's thigh.

"Don't get upset with her. She really helped me."

"I know," Jensen admits. Plus, how much of a hypocrite would he be if he got mad about secrets being kept from him?

"She's the one who gave the idea about finding out this way," Jared makes a small gesture with his hands. "I didn't think you'd agree to it."

"Well I couldn't be selfish like that. I felt too bad."

"I mean if you asked me to go meet your secret admirer, I'd be pissed."

"See I thought about it that way, but I just couldn't be mad about it because I knew how much you cared about me." Jensen wraps an arm around Jared's shoulder, drops his head on top of Jared's. "And I trusted you. Plus deep down I knew it was me."

Jared grins wide, face glowing with such bright and open emotion that Jensen feels like he's happier just by being in his space bubble. To make someone feel this way, to put such joy in someone's heart, regardless of if it was Jared, Jensen's always wanted that. It feels so incredible to be able to do that.

"So? Are you okay?" Jared's hand comes up to stroke at Jensen's hip before smoothing back down the length of his thigh. God, Jared is so damn sweet.

"Why are you asking me if _I'm_ okay?"

"Because you damn near hyperventilated." Jared's tone is joking but he can tell that Jared's serious. "Jen, I meant what I said that night, when we played basketball. Nothing can push you away from me. Well–unless you want that."

"No," Jensen says quickly. "I was just so damn afraid to lose you."

"Not losing me, because," Jared sweeps down and his lips brush against Jensen's ear when he whispers, "I love you too."

Jensen's heart swells to the size of a watermelon in his chest, and he realizes in his ramblings, he spit that he loved Jared. He didn't even realize that he said it.

And he _does_ love him. He loves Jared fucking Padalecki.

God it's crazy, being with Jared for a mere two months and how hard he's fallen for him. Maybe he was already in love with Jared before they even got together, Jensen doesn't know. But there's no doubt in his mind about how he feels for Jared, not a single one, and Jensen is in love with him.

That's plain obvious to him right about now, with this fluttery feeling in his gut and the heavy weight of his heart in his chest.

"You know, you do write really good," Jared compliments, nodding appreciatively. "I especially loved reading what you wanted to do to me. You really are kinky."

"Damnit," Jensen murmurs and hides his face in the crook of Jared's neck. Jared's laugh rips through the silence, and his hands sweep around Jensen's back to hold him there.

"Come on, let's go back inside." Jared pats his back. "So we can have that perfect prom that you wrote about."

"This is so embarrassing," Jensen says with a small laugh.

"I love it." Jared grins broadly as Jensen climbs off his lap.

"I bet you do, asshole."

Jensen doesn't have a secret anymore. The cat's out of the bag, and Jensen still has a boyfriend. Is it too early to say this was a victory? He doesn't want to jinx it.

***

The rest of the night was a night to remember.

After telling Jessica how everything turned out, she squealed and give him a huge hug, then made Jensen show her where Jared was so she could hug him too.

After that, Jared was glued to Jensen the entire night and nerves were getting to Jared earlier too, which is why Jared strayed towards big groups of people so him and Jensen wouldn't be alone. Can't exactly be upset about that, can he? Doesn't matter anyway, because Jared made up for it.

They got their whole group together, the one they had at the party. Jensen wasn't even aware Misha went to their school, but there he was, and he had worn this–_really_ weird suit. It was loud with its colors and the print, but for some reason, it... fit. Jensen figured it was the sharp blue of his eyes that made the suit look just right for him but, Jensen had to think about it, anyone else with those eyes would still never be able to pull off a suit like that. Only Misha. It's just Misha.

Jared was voted prom King and, while he doesn't want to say of course, he has to. Jared's the hottest and most known out of the bunch who were nominated, plays the most sports, is the smartest. And Jensen's not just saying these things because he's in love with the guy (he stills loves to hear himself say it, "I love Jared fucking Padalecki."), it's just true. If the shoe fits, wear it!

To be completely honest, he was expecting Sandy to win prom Queen because she's Jared's friend and a hot cheerleader that everyone adores, but Danneel won. Not that she doesn't deserve prom Queen–just didn't think that she'd outvote Sandy. He must have been cheering the loudest when she walked up to receive her crown.

They had their dance, and as they spun and twirled around in the center of the room, Sandy found him for a second time. "Hey," She gave him a knowing smile, "J."

Jensen sighs. "Yup, it's me," Jensen says as he takes her hand and places the other on her waist, guiding them around in small circles. "Has he really known for that long?"

"Since basketball night? Yeah." Sandy nods. "You guys both worry too much. He was so worried that if he came out and told you that he knew, that he'd scare you off, and then you were worried about him being mad at you or weirded out, and you two were both just overthinking."

Jensen remains silent.

"He's read on that blog since junior year and he thought it was him that you wrote about but it seemed too good to be true. Then when he found out that Jay _was_ him, he was excited and he wanted to meet the secret admirer, get to know him. He even asked him a bunch of questions anonymously so he could _kind of _learn about him the best way he could through the blog or whatever. And Jared actually admitted to maybe being interested in the guy, but he still wanted _you_. I've never seen him get so conflicted."

"I told him that he had to get on with it, whoever he was going to choose, because the school year was coming to an end. That was when we went into the library during lunch."

Seems so long ago.

"And so I was talking to him in math that day and I could tell he wasn't really listening, then he just–got up. Walked over to you. I knew that he chose you then."

"But–I mean, it doesn't really matter either way, because they both would've been me," Jensen wonders out loud. Right?

"No, it _does_ matter. This was before he knew that you were J, and he chose this guy who was cute and smart and _maybe _interested in him, rather than the romantic guy who could write his way right into your heart and literally wrote about his big, shmoopy love for Jared on his super popular blog. They had so much in common and when Jared talked to him like, anonymously or whatever, they just clicked. _He_ was for sureinto Jared, and Jared was even a bit interested too. But he still chose _you_."

Huh. Sandy's right, he supposes. It'd make more sense for Jared to go after J. But he chose... Jensen. He chose this nerdy guy who spends their lunch talking to the librarian and quotes a two-hundred year old book.

"He felt so bad for not wanting J because he had such a good heart. But when he realized it was you it all made sense, why J seemed so amazing. Because you _are_ J."

A small smile tugs at Jensen's lips as Sandy angles a pleased smirk at him. "Has Jared ever told you how great you write?"

"So has _everyone_ read my work?" Jensen asks, and she blushes a little.

"Well everyone comes to your blog for different reasons," Sandy says shyly, steps faltering. "I like the fanfics you write."

Jensen knows that look. "You mean my super dirty fanfics that I spilled all _my_ fantasies into because I was too shy to get some action of my own?"

"Yeah, _those_."

They both laugh just as the song is wrapping up, and Sandy looks behind him before she pulls away slowly. "Jare's looking for you. And, Jen?"

"Yeah?"

Sandy's face melts into this soft expression. "I'm happy for the two of you. You make him happy–you know that, right?"

Jensen glances over his shoulder to find Jared making his way over, grin stretched so far across his face that Jensen's worried his cheeks are going to split. He turns back toward Sandy and replies, "Yeah, I do."

***

Later just before prom is over, Jared grabs his hand for the last dance of the night. Jensen's arms curl up to rest around Jared's neck as Jared's come around his waist, pulling him tight against the front of Jared to the point that they're reduced to swaying in the same spot so they don't step over one another's feet.

Jensen knows _Sleeping at Last_ when he hears it, and as the first chords of the piano flows in his ear and enters his mind, he recognizes the song instantly.

"I–" Jensen chuckles, head tilting forward to rest against Jared's. "I love this song."

"I've never heard it," Jared says. "How come you've never played it?"

"It's cheesy and it makes me think of you," Jensen confesses. He adores the song so much because it's such a parallel to him and Jared's relationship. He knew the song before him and Jared got together, but when it played in his long, endless list of shuffled songs one day as he drove home from work, he found himself playing and singing the song more and more then realized why he favored it.

"Sing it for me," Jared whispers.

Jensen only has a second to register what Jared asked of him before he inhales gently, and, "_I've waited a hundred years_," he sings lowly, voice like a gentle stream rocking someone to a state of his peacefulness. "_But I'd wait a million more for you_..."

Jensen hears Jared sigh softly, hands itching to move up each of Jensen's sides then around his waist again. "_Nothing prepared me for, what the privilege of being yours, would do_..."

"_If I had only felt the warmth within your touch_," Jensen's hands come around to each side of his head, thumbs sweeping along the line of Jared's jaw, "_If I had only seen how you smile when you blush_," It's enough for Jensen to fall in love with Jared all over again, when he bows his head further to hide the blush sweeping over his cheeks and the way the corner of his lips tug into a smile, "_Or how you curl your lip when you concentrate enough, well I would have known, what I was living for all along... What I've been living for_."

Jensen loses himself in the music and the way Jared's eyes bore into his own. He sings, lets his heart fuel the words but keeps his voice soft and modulated, that way only Jared can catch them because they're meant for him and him only.

Jared's eyes are actually glistening with unshed tears when Jensen sings the last lyric, ending his private performance with a light kiss to the tip of Jared's nose. "Look at you. You're such a crybaby."

"I am," Jared says with a nod, shaking his head in disbelief as he chuckles. "I love you."

"Say it once and now you can't stop." Jensen's mouth turns up.

"Well, can you blame me?" Jared grins delightfully.

Two months ago, Jensen was a reserved guy who had a secret identity on a blog, performed for himself in the car, and fumbled over his words when he spoke to the guy he yearned after in silence for four years.

Now he's made new friends, has sung in front of a decent sized crowd–would actually do it again, he would like to add–and he doesn't have a secret identity anymore. Well, not to the person who matters most. And not only can he hold a steady conversation with the guy he's pined after for years, but he's came to the conclusion that he's in love with him, and discovered that the love is mutual.

This has got to be the best night of his life.

"I love you, too."

***

Okay, they promised to go to the party but it doesn't look like that's going to happen.

"I booked a hotel," Jared pulls away from Jensen's lips, hands still roaming his body. Jensen's eyebrows jump and he falls back in his seat, head thudding against the window of the passenger door.

"You _planned_ to have sex?"

"I mean–" Jared leans back slightly and scratches his neck, lip curling in thought. "Prom night. I didn't know if we'd be having _sex_, but I would rather be prepared."

When Jensen doesn't say anything, Jared looks worried. "Was that out of line?"

"No. You're just so fucking smart," Jensen stresses with a gesture of his hands. "Like–I'm slow. Book smart maybe, but when it comes to common sense... none."

"You're giving me way too much credit. I just booked a hotel room."

"Well it's because all I want right now is for you to fuck me into a mattress and I'm not too sure if it's best that we do that in one of our houses."

Jensen didn't think he and Jared would be having sex before the school year was even over, but fuck it. He's ready and it's his body, and he's of age to legally consent getting his back blown the fuck out so, to hell with it! If they're both ready, then why wait? He's sure that Jared's ready, and Jensen's _definitely_ ready.

Actually, he's certain that he was just waiting before because he was thinking, "It's too soon, blah," but he seen Danneel and Steve shoving their tongues down each other's throats, and he can take a wild guess as to why they were rushing to Steve's truck in such a hurry. Now don't get Jensen wrong, he's not just saying, "Hey, Danneel and Steve are having sex so we should too!" But the point Jensen's trying to make is that he shouldn't base his decision on how _long _they've been together–he should dig deep into his mind and soul, feel for if _he's_ ready to go that next step. And he is. So what is there to wait on? They're–and he wants this to be as cheesy as possible–in _love_.

Don't mind Jensen–he's never been in a relationship before, okay? He's learning every step of the way.

Jared's eyes bulge and he slams back into his seat, yanking his seatbelt on. "Hell yeah," Jared throws the car into drive and a yelp is stabbed out of Jensen's chest at the sudden jerk of the vehicle. "I'm down with that."

Jensen smirks and leans back in his own seat as Jared's hand finds his thigh. He strokes and squeezes it the entire way there, murmuring about how he's gonna fuck Jensen until he's talking in tongues. _Hell_ yes.

***

"Mm–fuck, wait, wait," Jensen huffs as he lands in the center of the bed on his back, legs spread obscenely.

"What?" Jared asks, hands pausing on the button of Jensen's pants, and fuck does his tanned skin look perfect beneath the white of his button-down.

"I wanted to surprise you," Jensen worries his bottom lip, heart quickening slightly in pace. He knows Jared won't, like... stare at him in disgust or anything wild like that, he just hopes that he'll like it. "If you aren't feeling it then it's fine, just tell me."

Jared gets a speculative look in his eyes but, like Jensen said, he's smart, so he seems to figure it out before he gets Jensen's fly undone. He still groans lowly when his eyes land on the bulge of Jensen's erection under green silk. "Fuck, angel, you... you did this for me?"

Jensen's hips lift as Jared's tugs on his pants, and kicks his shoes off his feet as he shimmies out of the pants, collapsing back on the bed. "Well you said silk would look nice on me and I'm kind of feminine if you couldn't tell and sometimes I wear them but I haven't been wearing them since we got together because I wasn't sure if you'd like it and I didn't want you to see them and freak out so when you said you liked silk and thought it'd look good I figured I could see if you liked it and–"

"–Jen." Jared squeezes Jensen's thigh, and Jensen's mouth closes slowly. "Calm down, okay? I fucking love it. So damn sexy."

Jared's hand comes up and Jensen squirms under the delicate touch of Jared's fingers, brushing over his bulge gently. He licks his lips and leans forward, breathing hot on his crotch. Bending down, his lips latch right onto the patch of material that's been soaked through with Jensen's precome, sucking strongly, and effectively eliciting a moan from each of their mouths.

"Wanna fuck you, Jen. Fuck you until you can't even think past anything but my name." Jared lifts until he's sitting back on his haunches, hands pulling Jensen's legs up to flank each of Jared's sides. Jensen's heart flips at the way Jared's looking down at him, hopeful and burning with lust. "Do you want that?"

"God yes," Jensen's words are strained, and his eyes close when Jared leans down and their lips meet. Jared's lips are smooth against his, and when Jensen's tongue swipes against them they taste a bit like cherry lip balm, which sends a thrill through Jensen's body for some odd reason. It's soft and sweet as usual, and just perfect with Jared's body pressed flush against his, and Jensen's head is spinning from Jared drowning each of his senses. The peppermint taste of Jared's mouth is heavy on his tongue, the subtle scent of sandalwood and spicy cinnamon from the cologne Jared's wearing in his nose, the sound of his heavy breathing and groans rumbling from his chest, the tingling sensation of Jared's hands fleeting across bare skin and the rotation of his hips against Jensen's.

Jensen drops his head back to the pillow when Jared pulls away, his hands sliding down Jared's neck and down his chest, resting over the tight muscles of his abs. "You sitting right here, on my dick like that," Jensen's eyes flicker down to where Jared's legs are parted and folded back in a V around Jensen's hips. "Looks like you're gonna ride me."

"I will one of these days." Jared smirks, grinding down on Jensen's crotch and driving a moan from his lips. "One of these days I'm gonna fuck you then just hop right on top. But right now I'm just gonna fuck you, and no gentle, right? I've gathered that. You like it _rough_. That's what you want, baby? Want it rough?"

"Shit," Jensen whimpers, gripping at Jared's waist. "Please, can't wait."

"Already begging for me." Jared lowers his body until he's hovering right above Jensen's. He presses light kisses to Jensen's shoulder and up to crook of his neck, traveling up to his ears (and Jensen's never been more grateful for understanding proper hygiene and cleaning behind ears) and then back down again, sucking bruises into his skin along the way. Jensen knew that necking at certain spots could feel good, but he never understood how or what it was like until this very moment, with Jared nipping and slurping until a hickey forms at the conjunction of Jensen's neck and shoulder.

Jared trails down lower and leaves kisses along the line of his collarbone, dipping further until he's right over Jensen's nipple. He flicks his tongue at it, causing Jensen to inhale and his cock to twitch in his panties. Taking his nipple into his mouth, he sucks hungrily like a baby with a bottle and tweaks the other nipple in his fingers, and it all sends jolts of electricity up his spine.

"Look at you," Jared says after pulling off Jensen's nipple with a pop. His lips are plump and swollen from the amount of work he's put in 'em, just from marking Jensen's neck and chest. It's going to be a joy trying to cover them up for the next few days. "So beautiful."

Jensen flushes from the raw admiration heavy in Jared's tone, and Jared rushes forward, sinking to kiss Jensen's lips before twisting up and over him. Jensen can hear Jared rumbling around in the side table and is slammed over the head with the reality of what's about to happen–but it doesn't frighten or make him anxious. If anything, it only adds fuel to the flame.

Jared moves back then, and Jensen spreads his legs with a natural instinct that where it came from he has no idea. But nonetheless, here he is with his legs thrown open like a cockslut waiting for his prize. He's sure that it won't be long before he's a cockslut–actually, he can't even deny that he's _not_ a cockslut already. A cockslut in training, if you will.

Squeezing a substantial amount of the lube in his hands, Jared slicks up his fingers and smears the rest against Jensen's hole. His eyes narrow a bit and he seems to be inspecting the area intensely, and it makes Jensen's cheeks burn bright as he fidgets.

"You been in here already?" The corners of Jared's lips quirk, and Jensen pulls his lips into his mouth. _Asshole._

"I wanted to..." Jensen shifts against the sheets, tries again. "I made sure to clean good in the shower. Guess you weren't the only one making preparations. Just _incase_."

"Real puffy for just cleaning."

Jensen's lips twist. "Okay, so I just got _extra _clean. Whatever."

Jared huffs out a laugh and then his finger is pushing into Jensen's hole, definitely less patient than the last time, but still painfully slow. There's not a bit of resistance and it's a tease, like an itch that he can't scratch.

"I got like, extra, super duper, mega clean." Jensen gestures with a wave of his hand. "You don't have to go slow. You probably don't even have to stretch me." When Jared counters his proposal with an arch of his brow, one that says, _You wanna think about that again?_, he purses his lips and backtracks. "Okay, you'll have to stretch me _some_ because, elephant dick and all. But I'm not all slow and soft with myself so trust me, you don't have to be either."

Jared grins and pulls the first finger back, pushes in with a second. Jensen's fingers curl against the blankets and he sighs, eyelids fluttering as Jared finally picks up speed, thank God.

"Y'know," Jared says, head bowing to nuzzle Jensen's neck, licking a stripe along the line of his jaw and whispering hotly in his ear. "I want to see you do this one day. See how you get off when I'm not around."

"I–" Jensen's words catch in his throat when Jared curls those fingers, sparks traveling up his balls and making his cock twitch. "Used to have a vibrator. It was really small but it–_fuck–_had a strong motor."

"Used to?" Jared begins to work on another hickey, right below the curve of his jaw. Jensen gasps under his breath when a third finger enters his hole, the stretch such a sweet burn that Jensen has never loved more than he does in that moment.

"Broke it a few weeks ago," Jensen rushes out before he loses control of his voice.

Jared must sense that the effort to speak is coming with more and more difficulty, so he slows his fingers and asks, "Broke it? How do you break a vibrator?"

"Stopped working. Guess I used it too much."

Jared sits up with a curse. Staring down at Jensen with something he could only define as a leer, Jared withdraws his fingers. "Can't wait no more."

"If I knew that was all it'd take for you to get a move on, I would've told you that a long time ago."

"You using a vibrator so much you fucking break it?" Jared works to get his briefs off, fumbling when pulling them off his ankles. Finally he tosses them to the side, crawling back up into the space between Jensen's parted legs. "That's like... you know how much you'd have to use that damn thing?"

"Yeah, I know, all the time." Jensen gives a coy smirk and wriggles his brows. "Now hurry up. Can't wait."

"You're so damn dirty I swear." Jared reaches over again and comes back with a condom. "If I would've known you were like this..." Jared's voice is hushed, almost in disbelief, and he shakes his head. "They say it's the quiet ones. Lady in the streets, freak in the sheets."

"I ain't no damn lady though. Wear makeup and panties, and–sometimes I might, I don't know, put on a skirt," Jared's eyes bulge and Jensen just skates on over it like he said nothing, "And I wax my legs and stuff but I'm not a lady. Just a real feminine man."

"A–" Jared stammers, mouth working around words that fail as they attempt to fall off his tongue. Jensen just grins wickedly and rolls his hips. "A _skirt_?"

"Come on, damn it. Fuck me."

"A _skirt_," Jared murmurs to himself as he rips the packet open, pinching the tip of the condom and rolling it down his length with hurried fingers. Jensen sits up and grabs the lube when Jared takes it in his hands.

"Let me." Jensen's read and wrote this moment in fanfics too many times to pass it up damnit. It's like a goal of his.

Squirting lube in his hands, he takes a hold of Jared's cock and strokes from the base to the tip. It's a hefty weight in his hand and for the first time tonight, he wonders if the damn thing will actually be able to fit in his ass. _Of course it will_, Jensen thinks, _you'll just be walking around like you had a baseball bat shoved up there tomorrow._

Though Jensen's not sure if he cares so much. The thing he's most embarrassed about is heading home tomorrow and proving to his mother what he's sure she already knows is happening tonight. The walk of shame sounds hot though–fucked so good you can't even walk straight? Sign him up, please, but without the extra eyes and comments. His mom seems to want to relive her teenage years _through_ him, and he doesn't need her to ask how it went if he's walking around on wobbly legs tomorrow.

Just as Jensen's starting to _really _get into it-twisting his wrist, lifting a hand to fondle his balls–Jared jerks away and gently pushes Jensen back. "Okay, gonna come if you don't stop."

Jared puts a bit more lube up Jensen's ass, and it feels weird–and by weird, he means extremely wet and slippery down there, but he's glad that Jared's taking the extra preparation to ensure that he's going to be comfortable and have a good time during this.

Jared goes to roll him over but Jensen grips his wrist to stop him. "Wait," Jensen says, "Wanna see you."

Jared just smirks and releases Jensen's hips, instead pushing his knees up to his chest. Jensen holds his legs in place as Jared grips his cock and aligns himself. When he can feel Jared poking at his entrance, just teasing a bit, he grips the sheets in anticipation because fuck if he doesn't feel big already with the fat, blunt head of his dick.

"You ready?" Jared asks, voice soft and earnest.

"Yeah." Jensen nods. "Go for it."

And then Jared's pushing in.

Jensen read somewhere that if you're doing this right, it shouldn't hurt. Feel a little weird, yes, but it shouldn't hurt. And it's not that it _hurts_, but there's a bit of discomfort tickling at him.

"Gotta relax, Jen." Jared comes down and caresses his cheek with one hand and wraps around Jensen's flagging erection with the other, mouth finding that spot in the crook of his neck that made Jensen pant and twitch. "Let me in."

Jensen's about to tell _him_ to stick a tree trunk up his ass and try to relax, but then Jared's thumb is swiping over that bundle of nerves under the head of his cock, and he slowly loosens up with a soft hiss.

"That's it, now bear down for me." Jensen does as Jared says and is surprised when it actually helps. Jared continues on, inch by inch, murmuring affirmations in Jensen's ear. "So good for me angel, so beautiful, fucking perfect."

Jensen's so wrapped up in the large hand around him, the teeth undoubtedly biting more bruises into his neck, and the sound of Jared's voice in his ear that he doesn't even realize Jared's full seated until his pulling back out and thrusting forward, pushing a deep groan from Jensen's chest. The stretch doesn't burn per se, more feels like a new sensation. It twists into pure goodness when he thinks about it–split wide open and stuffed full of Jared's cock, and that's all it takes.

And _phew_, they're totally doing it right. Not a single mark. Perfect.

Jared starts moving, gentle rock of his hips like the soft crash of the tide, and Jensen sighs with contentment. It's good, _so_ good, and with the pace it's agonizing because Jensen feels _everything_.

"C'mon," Jensen pleads, nails scraping at Jared's arms as he licks his lips. "I can take it, just fuck me Jay, want you to fuck me _hard–_"

"Damnit, Jen," Jared growls, sitting up so he's back on his haunches again and pulling Jensen closer so his ass lies between Jared's spread thighs. The change in position buries Jared deeper inside and Jensen trembles, back arching and hands tightening reflexively in the sheets.

Now Jared's fucking him, working his hips in ways thay should be illegal. Jensen didn't even know it was possible to feel this good, _so_ damn good, to feel like you're about to fall apart and unravel at the seams.Why hadn't Jensen done this before? It's like he's broken out of a fog, peering through clear lenses and suddenly, Jensen can understand why everyone is so addicted to sex.

"God yeah, so–so tight, Jesus," Jared grunts, and his hands dig into Jensen's hips with enough strength to leave finger-shaped bruises. Then he starts dragging Jensen back to meet each powerful thrust, and he kind of _lifts _a bit and–

"_Oh_ shit, right fucking _there_."

"Yeah? Hitting that sweet spot, huh?" Jared pants. He doesn't let up on the thrusts at all, and really, Jensen's doing his best not to melt right into a puddle of goop right on the bed. Whoever said first times are always awkward and your lousiest lay, well, they just don't have a boyfriend with stroke game like Jensen's. No fucking way.

This is all gonna end undoubtedly soon, 'cause Jensen's a virgin and this is all too much and too fast, feels like Jared's sparking each of Jensen's nerves with a live wire. There's this pressure building up inside of him, tightening and growing and expanding to the point where Jensen's doing his best not to let it go too early, but it's difficult because each thrust of Jared's hips, each time he plunges into Jensen with short, rough, sharp thrusts, it lights sparks up behind his eyes. Jensen's always been noisy, including when flying solo, so even _he_ has enough properly operating brain cells to pinpoint who's making all those strangled, high-pitched noises and bitten-off moans, like they're being punched out of their chest. Hint; it's not Jared.

But don't get Jensen wrong, Jared's _definitely _making noise above him. And they're not all deep and manly and masculine; there's sweet little cries when Jensen clenches around him sporadically and soft groans when he goes exceptionally deep, and at times Jensen can feel him twitch vigorously inside, and it makes Jensen shudder each time, feeling and knowing Jared's enjoying this just as much as he is.

"Can't get too loud angel, we got... neighbors," Jared's voice is tight with heat, and he readjusts Jensen's body, dragging his ass up in his lap from where it slid down onto the sheets. He moves Jensen's legs, though–pushes them up until Jensen's feet are on either side of Jared's head, and if Jensen wasn't drowning in the waves of pleasure crashing over his body, he'd probably find the image quite funny.

"Would you consider yourself flexible?" Jared asks. Jensen's not sure what he plans on doing, and Jensen _is_ sure that he's most likely not very flexible–that is if the slight burn in his thighs just from his legs resting on Jared's shoulders tell him anything. But that doesn't stop him from nodding fervently anyway.

Jared bends down and then Jensen's crying out in pain. "Wait–stop, stop, I lied, not flexible at _all_, ow."

Sitting up and shifting backwards, Jared lets out a throaty laugh and instead pulls Jensen's legs around his waist. "How's that?"

"No talking, just fuck me." Jensen's come to realize that he sounds like a needy whore and he hasn't even came during sex for the first time yet. Though, he's pretty sure that's the issue here, what he's being so needy for.

"Good." Swooping down and capturing Jensen's lips, he begins to fuck Jensen in earnest, the head of Jared's cock pummeling directly into Jensen's prostate and setting off bursts of fireworks behind his eyes.

The constant slapping of their bodies colliding is obscene and almost drowns the noise coming from their mouths, but with each of them racing to their own peak, the effort it takes to quiet their noises comes with more and more difficulty. Jensen's writhing and bucking underneath Jared's body, so close, and Jensen's sure that Jared's right there with him, who's got his face shoved in the crook of Jensen's neck.

"Never this good," Jared's words trail off into a whimper, and he shoves himself up and his hands find Jensen's hips again, slamming into Jensen's body with an animalistic drive. "Never. Been. This. Good. Before."

Jensen's fingers curl and dig into the skin of Jared's back as it all begins to build up at the base of his spine. Every deliciously good burst of pleasure when Jared hits his prostate; the way Jared's fucking him, almost frantically, like if he doesn't come in the next few minutes he'll burst into flames; the way Jared's holding onto him, so tight he's going to leave marks, like if he loosens his grip Jensen's going to fly right out of his fingers. Every sensation is heightened and he feels like he's about to rip right out of his skin.

Jensen can't get enough of the way Jared's face is contorting above him, crumpling before lifting and twisting to project a new one. His perfect teeth clamp down on his bottom lip and he squeezes his eyes shut, whines high in his throat and gets lost in the rock of his hips, then next his face relaxes, line between his brows softens and he's just panting hard like a dog. His eyes crack open and meet Jensen's, and this one might be Jensen's favorite because in the flash of a second, he can see the searing love and trust and passion and everything he feels for Jared reflected in the almond eyes fixated on him. But before Jensen knows it, Jared's eyes are screwed shut again, his brows are furrowed and his mouth hangs open, almost like he can't believe what he's even feeling right now, and honestly Jensen feels the same way.

"Love you," Jared croaks with a hiss, hips stuttering as he reaches down, pumps Jensen's cock once, twice, and suddenly Jensen's flying off the rails. "Love you, Jen, fucking love you."

"Oh my _God_."

Body going rigid, he gasps and then his hips thrash around like he can't get control of his own body. Jensen's eyes roll back, and he's terribly sorry for Jared's poor back right now, because he knows he's doing serious damage, but it's too damn good and Jared seems to be going _faster_ if that's even possible.

That knot has burst and exploded into earth-shattering waves of pure, raw, aching goodness of the orgasm reverberating through his body, unlike anything he's ever felt before, full-on throttling his mind into this repetition of _holy fuck shit damn christ fuck oh my goodness so good fucking amazing shit–_

Jensen's cock shoots messily all over his chest, splattering against the flat level of Jensen's stomach. His inner muscles clench and flutter around Jared to coax his orgasm out, and that's when Jared gives a hoarse shout, and driving into Jensen deep. He can feel the heat of Jared's release unloading into the rubber, can feel the way Jared's firm grip on his thighs tighten, and can feel the way he pulses as Jensen wrings his out orgasm out of him. It's intimate in a way Jensen's never felt before, didn't even know was possible–and he feels connected to Jared in a way that he could never begin to put into words.

Jared collapses on top of Jensen, and he should probably have more to say about the fact that one, Jared is _crushing _him right now and two, Jensen's come is smeared sticky and thick into their bellies along with sweat that's going to start cooling uncomfortably soon enough. But Jensen can't form those words because he's soaring, floating on a cloud miles and miles away from here, in this daze where his body hums with euphoria and zeal and passion. There's a distant thought that he ponders in the very back of his head, and he wonders if he actually died, but he's sunk into a state of tranquility too strong to even let the thought come forth in his mind.

A few minutes later though, it's all a different story. Jensen's very much so alive, Jared's snoring in his ear, his ass feels empty and sore, his body's sore like he just ran a marathon from the aches in his thighs and calves and the loss of energy.

"And _I'm_ useless after I orgasm," Jensen murmurs sleepily to himself, and he shoves at Jared's shoulder. "Hey... hey!" Jared snorts a bit, nuzzles Jensen's jaw, "Wake up goofy. Gotta clean up some."

"Sleepy."

"I will _literally_ push you onto the ground," Jensen threatens and brings his hand to Jared's side, ready to send him right off the bed.

"Okay, okay." It still takes Jared a few minutes after he's sat up and stopped leaving chaste kisses on Jensen's lips for him to get up, walk away and head into the bathroom, demanding that Jensen doesn't move a muscle. Thank God for that because Jensen's not sure he'd be able to.

When Jensen's eyes open again, Jared's wiping down Jared's chest and watching him with this fond look in his eyes. Jensen gives him a smile that's weak and, if truth be told, it wasn't much of a smile at all, but Jared seems to appreciate the effort.

"Good?"

Jensen gives a single nod.

"Like I said," Jared chuckles and rolls Jensen over, and Jensen just goes pliant as Jared tugs the extra sheet they laid down from beneath the solid weight of his body. "Useless after you orgasm."

Jensen just gives an annoyed grunt, turning onto his side and eyes sliding shut.

"Gonna get under the blanket, angel?"

Jensen shakes his head.

He doesn't miss Jared's affectionate chuckle, and he's slipping into slumber when a light blanket comes down on top of his naked body. There's a rustling of the cover and then Jensen's body is jostled before Jared is behind him, large hand coming around Jensen's hips and spanning across his lower belly. He pulls Jensen back against his chest and it takes great strength not to go under just yet.

Jared's lips find the back of Jensen's neck and he shifts, gives him room to bury his face into the crook of Jensen's neck before saying, "I love you too, Jay."

A satisfied hum comes from behind him as Jensen's body succumbs to unconsciousness.

***

"Oh yeah, that's totally the walk of shame," Danneel says, giving a confident nod of her head. "Momma Ackles was right."

"Oh my God, you guys are the worst," Jensen groans, heading drooping as he just stands still, holds onto the stair railing. Instead of just walking up the stairs and coming into Jensen's room, she made him come down the stairs to see him stumble and wobble. "What parent talks about my sex life with their child's best-friend? And what best-friend sides with the parent to humiliate me?"

"Hey, I stopped in the bakery to grab something before I came over and asked about you. Said she caught Jared dropping you off," Danneel grins, shaking her head slowly. "Jensen, I've never seen Momma Ackles laugh so hard. She said you were walking like your legs were made of jello. Oh, and she said your attempt to cover those hickeys were ass."

His cheeks are on fire when he flounders over to the couch and slumps down next to her, hiding his face in his hands. It wouldn't have been that bad if they didn't go two more rounds before Jared took him home this morning, and it probably wouldn't be so bad right now if Jared wouldn't have came by and went another round with him just an hour ago. They were actually sleep when Danneel got here, naked as they day they were born, so Jensen's glad she called him downstairs instead of bursting in like she ordinarily does.

Danneel sniffs deeply and then screws her face up. "Goodness, you reek. Did you not shower?" Realization crosses her face when Jensen's lips twitch. "He's upstairs."

"Uh... no he's no–"

"Jen?" Jared's footsteps are heavy on the staircase when he comes staggering down them, running a hand through his mussed hair. "What're you–oh," Jared's words slur a bit from drowsiness. Straightening up when his eyes land on Danneel, he gives a sleepy smile and a lethargic wave. "Hi."

Danneel's eyebrows shoot up, and her line of sight flicker between the two of them. Her face melts into a shocked but pleased expression. "You little sly dog," She says, a startled laugh bubbling out of her mouth. "You two been in here fucking like rabbits, haven't you?!"

"No–"

"That was at the hotel."

Jensen's eyes narrow as he stares at Jared, and if looks could kill, Jared would be six feet under at the moment.

"Sorry," Jared gives an apologetic shrug of his shoulders, shuffles over to the couch and sits beside Jensen. "You're all cute when you're mad and blushing."

"Whatever, you think I'm all cute _all _the time."

"Yup," Jared hums happily. Maneuvering and pulling Jensen onto his lap, he kisses Jensen's cheek firmly and says, "I love you."

Jensen's cheeks are more than a little rubicund at the way Danneel's eyes double in size and her mouth drops. Ignoring her, he tilts his head to give Jared the room needed to nestle his head into the crook of Jensen's neck, then replies, "I love you too."

"Oh my _goodness_," Danneel says dramatically, hand coming over her heart. "The greatest love story ever told."

As a writer, Jensen's never thought about it that way. But... it kind of is a cute, little romantic story. His eyes drift off and go unfocused as he lets the thought take over in his mind.

"Yeah..." Jensen says, hushed. "Maybe one day."

* * *

The sound of waves crashing and toppling over one another and the leaves of palm trees blowing is almost enough to lull Jensen to sleep. The crisp scent of salt from the ocean water seems to carry with the breeze, sweeping cool air over them as a result of the sun lowering in the sky, fading off into the horizon. Golden rays beam down and reflect off of the endless blankets of water and it's beautiful, so achingly beautiful that Jensen's heart hurts to see it.

Living in California means seeing beaches and oceans, feeling the sand in your toes and the sun on your body. But nothing like this, not like being in Hawaii. The air is different, lighter and crisper, the sun feels different, like it's soaking into your skin, it smells different, fresher and like exotic flowers.

Jared wraps his arms tighter around Jensen, snuggling closer into his chest. "Kinda chilly now," he mentions.

"Should've brought that blanket like I told you to." Jensen hums triumphantly, but he pulls off his cardigan and drapes it over the two of them anyway. Jared's skin is cold against his, and he runs his hands over Jared's arms to warm them with his body heat.

"Yeah, yeah, you always think you're right." Lifting his head, Jared climbs up the length of Jensen's legs, swaying the hammock they're lying in aggressively. "I know how to warm us up anyway."

"Don't fucking make us fall over!" Jensen exclaims, leaning his body in the other direction. Jared just waves him off, straddling his waist.

"Gonna ride you," Jared says, hands falling over Jensen's belly and rolling his hips against Jensen's. Biting down on his lip, his hands instantly find Jared's waist. "That'll make us warm, don't ya think?"

"You justfucked me before we got in the shower _and _when we were _in_ the shower."

"And? That was like, over thirty minutes ago. This is our dream honeymoon, we're supposed to have sex all the time. Plus we haven't christened this hammock."

_Our dream honeymoon_. He glances down, watches as the sun catches on the band around his ring finger and smiles.

Life has been good to them both.

Jensen's written a book that's earned several awards, as it should–the story of their relationship. It was a pestering idea in Jensen's mind ever since that day on his mom's couch, and when he finally asked Jared how he felt about it, he pushed Jensen to write the book, loved the sound of it. He was the person there to inspire Jensen when he was feeling discouraged, lift his spirits when he felt like writing was a bust, like no one was going to publish his story. Then, after two _long_ years, it got published and before you knew it shelves were emptying all over the country. He's in the works to see his novel become a movie on Netflix and he couldn't be more blessed. Jensen could have never done it alone, even if he found inspiration in a different story. They did this together. Without Jared by his side, he'd have lost the drive pushing him and given up.

For Jared, he worked his ass off in school and Jensen has never been so proud of a single human being in his life. He got summer internships at Microsoft all through college, then turned around and scored a job there after they both earned their bachelor's degree. This all happened just after Jensen finally got his book published (even though he hadn't gotten _nearly_ as much recognition yet, it was still such an achievement to finally be published), so to celebrate each of their successes, he and Jensen went on a trip to Florida.

It wasn't their first trip together but as a celebratory trip, they went _all _out, travelling all the way across the country and blowing the money they'd saved for a trip since they stepped foot on campus. They'd spent years saving, so it didn't seem as expensive until they couldn't look in their savings accounts and say, "I have [this much] more money saved than you!" It's how they were able to reserve money so well, for the trip and in general; make it a competition. Whoever loses at the end of the month gets to make the other do whatever they want for an entire week. It was the most intelligent idea Jared's ever had, even if Jensen lost every single month because for some reason the guy always had at least an extra hundred dollars saved. Didn't matter–the horn dog could never think past sexual offers so it was a win-win situation.

Their trip was great. Jensen had an amazing time and they had some creative, explorative sex in their suite overlooking the ocean. They did many things–went out and swam of course, went shopping, sightseeing, golfing (finally a sport that Jared sucks at, _yes_!), SeaWorld (which they spent the entire tour taunting each other back and forth with, "That's you," when they passed certain types of sea creatures), and Disney World. On that day Jensen was vibrating with excitement the entire time they were there. At the fireworks display he went digging in his pocket, getting ready to retrieve the little box tucked away in there until Jared tapped his shoulder–

And then the son of a bitch got down on one knee and proposed.

They'd discussed it beforehand because Jensen wasn't up for humiliating himself in front of a bunch of people, so there was no question in if they wanted to marry each other. It was almost like another competition for them, see who could pop the question first.

Jensen circled through several feelings; he blinked down at Jared in awe, bawled his eyes out because he was so overwhelmed with emotion, cursed Jared for beating him to it, and then laughed when Jared said, "My week isn't over so you have to do what I say. Now say that you'll be my husband already."

Their wedding was the greatest day of Jensen's life. The day where he committed his heart and soul to the only man he's ever loved and he hasn't regretted it ever since, and there's not a single thought in his mind that he'll ever come to regret it. Everyone flew in–both Jensen and Jared's family, Danneel, Chris, Tom, Mike, Sandy, Chad, Jessica, even Misha and Steve, and a couple of others that they through work and school.

It was this huge celebration and Jensen couldn't be more thankful for the support and love he has from all his friends and family–and his _husband_. It's exactly like how Jensen felt when he started saying I love you and he loved the way it sounded (actually still does). How can Jared make Jensen happy? Call him angel, husband, or Jensen Ackles-Padalecki, _or _relate to himself as Jared Padalecki-Ackles.

And now here they are, exactly where Jared promised they'd be in the car that night of Tom'd party.

"Maybe because we'll fall?" Jensen suggests.

"We'll be fine. I won't be so rough this time."

And when the hammock tips them over because Jared's riding Jensen like he's a mechanical bull, they just laugh their asses off and finish on the floor.

The entire five years of their relationship has been one giant, schmoopy, love fest and Jensen could never see himself being happy with another man. Not even when the asshat leaves his dirty socks all over their room.

The last time he wrote on his blog, it was a piece on the matter of the heart, one where Jensen longed for the guy who he'd fallen, sunk in a hole too deep to crawl out of. It was a piece on love that was shared only on one side of the equation; unrequited.

That night, Jensen got on his blog, and for the first time in approximately five years, he posted something of his own. His blog has been there and it's still flourishing, and he still gives advice and answers questions, but there hasn't been an addition to his _My Works_ tab since he slammed his laptop close that night in senior year. He added a new one.

** _To Jared Padalecki,_ **

** _"You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you." -Mr. Darcy, Pride and Prejudice._ **

** _-From Jensen Ackles._ **

**Author's Note:**

> The poem I used is linked here: https://hellopoetry.com/poem/3036282/burning/
> 
> The song Jensen sung to Jared is Turning Page by Sleeping at Last.


End file.
